Why'd you change your name?

real deal · August 2009

I'm on the fence about changing my name. I don't think I'd do it except to apease FI. That's not a very compelling reason. So, what influenced your decision to take on his name?

Linzpicc · August 2009

I want our future kids to have parents that have the same name.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

I didn't. I didn't like how it sounded with my name and I was used to the name I was born with and kind of liked it.

justagrl · August 2009

I guess I'm pretty traditional when it comes to that. Plus once we have kids, I want us all to have the same family name.

jen629 · August 2009

I guess tradition and I like it to be Mrs.:)

kathymarie · August 2009

I didn't. I just couldnt wrap my mind around it. My name is my name and it isn't changing.

magsugar13 · August 2009

Kvarrone · August 2009

Ditto Melissa!

cknud112 · August 2009

I'm in the process of changing my name now, reluctantly. Not b/c I don't like his name, it's nice and goes well with my first name, but b/c it's just not MY name. Anyway, in the end, I want to have the same last name as my husband and future children, so that was the reason for the change.

Mye · August 2009

i am not changing my name! it worked well for 27 yrs, it will be fine for the next 27....It really annoys me the "so my children have the same name" - what difference does it make

I <3 Seabass · August 2009

I never thought about not changing my name. It's just something I grew up thinking, you get married you change your last name.

cher1980 · August 2009

for traditional reasons, for our future kids, be a MRs

real deal · August 2009

For all the same reasons I question this act, yet also consider doing it. I like the name I was born with - it is who I am and before marriage, I never would have considered changing my name, so why do it now? Yet, I also agree with the "family name" especially when we start a family (which will start immediately after "I Do" lol). If I take on his name, I think I would still keep using mine. So why bother? Oy vey. I need more input. Thanks.

Amerz20 · August 2009

Mainly I will be changing it for tradition, I have had my full name changed before when I was 7, children, his last name is way easier to prounce by people. lol

caketime · August 2009

I always grew up knowing I would as well as for my kids because I would like the whole family to have the same name. I think it's a personal decision that only you can make.

jen629 · August 2009

Also my brother married someone named Jennifer and she had the same name as me so it was nice to get my own name again..lol

uppereastgirl · August 2009

To play devil's advocate here a bit, I don't understand the "for our future kids" thing. So many girls these days do not take their husband's names. Our kids (if we have them) are not going to grow up in a world where mommy not having the same last name as daddy means that the parents are divorced or the kid doesn't have a daddy or whatever. Also, you're a Mrs. either way, if you want to be.Mrs. (mĭs'ĭz) n. pl. Mmes. (mā-däm', -dām') Used as a courtesy title for a married or widowed woman before the surname or full name of her husband: Mrs. Doe; Mrs. John Doe. Used as a courtesy title for a married, widowed, or divorced woman before her own surname or full name: Mrs. Doe; Mrs. Jane Doe. See Usage Note at Ms.

real deal · August 2009

Ok, this may sound nasty, and I don't mean to be, so please don't take offense. But as far as "tradition" goes, I think in the old days, women were viewed as "property of..." and that's why they would immediately change their name to his. I love tradition in general, and for our wedding, we are evolving some traditions into our own version and creating soon-to-be family heirlooms (Las Aras; El Lasso - spanish). I just can't wrap my head around the name thing. If anything, I want him to take on my name 'cause it's cooler. lol

kathymarie · August 2009

Agreed, uppereast. Also to play devil's advocate here... in college I actually learned that the tradition of the name change implied owndership. You are born belonging to your father, you have his name. When you get married, "ownership" is passed to your husband, so you get his name. Like a the title of a car or boat. F that! That being said, I dont judge anyone who changes their name. Choice is about being free to do what you want, like how I am keeping my name. I think its bullshiit though to do it under pressure from the man. MH pulled the "well then we're not getting married" crap for exactly one second before I told him where to go. He is quite content these days, despite my having the same surname that I have had for 30 yrs.

real deal · August 2009

UpperEast, we must be in the same NYC neighborhood. lol

Mye · August 2009

also, its mostly in the US that this happens - my mom doesnt have the same last name as my dad...

caketime · August 2009

And that is why it's everyone's own personal decision. Only you can decide what you want to do and none of us can help with that.

cknud112 · August 2009

Real Deal... it sounds like you've already made up your mind, so you should do what works for you. Like someone said, it's a personal choice, so if you're not okay with changing your name you shouldn't do it. And if you can convince FI to take YOUR name, please let us know how you did it. Ha ha.

real deal · August 2009

LMAO! Ahh. thank you for the amusement on this rainy Friday. And yes, it's a very personal decision and I value the girls just the same if they wanted to change their name or not. One caveat though... after reading this post, I don't want to be held responsible for any knotties who change their mind about changing their name. haha.

USER876 · August 2009

What I find interesting is that it's perfectly legal for the man to take the woman's name.....why don't you ever hear of that option?

tlc11934 · August 2009

I hate my last name. I've waited my whole life to change it! People often presume things from my last name which make me angry.

Amerz20 · August 2009

Oh and another reason is because I feel I was slightly tricked into changing my name the first time. I want this to be my choice to change my name to the person the respects me.

kewltif · August 2009

I'm not sure why it's OK for your dad to "own you" but not your "husband." Honestly, I just think it's easier. It's easier to have the same name as my future kids. Plain and simple. Is it a life of agony to have a different name? Nope. But is it easier to be the same? Yep. Stereotype or not, people do tend to initially assume you're divorced unless otherwise notified. I had a mom call me yesterday and leave a message and said, "Hi, I'm Mrs. Smith, mother of John Doe. We are not divorced, I just kept my maiden name." That was a voice message and I hadn't even asked. I assume she gets asked that a lot if she felt the need to automatically explain.Anyway- Who cares? I feel like women who don't change their name want to judge those who do, yet they don't really appreciate it when people judge them for their choice.

real deal · August 2009

Dir-tay. Now I wanna know what's Marlena's last name. just kidding. Both my SILs didn't like their last names and changed it immediately after marriage.

USER876 · August 2009

Tif, this is the first I heard of so many people not changing the name. I can care less, but I find it interesting, everyone I know that has gotten married recently has changed their name. I wonder if it's more a "new generation" thing. It just seems like an age old tradition that hasn't been questioned much until now.

Mye · August 2009

my mother in law, who is really nice, gave me the dirtiest look ever when i told them i am not going to change my name, so much for judgment Tifbut i am all in favor of people doing whatever they want to do that makes them happy

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