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Fi's Mom's outfit for the wedding

skimecrnskimecrn member
Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Fi's Mom came into town Wednesday night. We went shopping yesterday and talk of the wedding came up... She asked what I would like her to wear. I was dumbstruck... I just said that I really didn't care. I know I'm not supposed to tell her what to wear, but she is asking. Do I give her suggestions or just let her figure it out? I told her what my mom is wearing as a guide, but I'm just not sure if I handled it correctly.
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Re: Fi's Mom's outfit for the wedding

  • zippitybzippityb member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Telling her your mom's outfit was the right thing to do. I assume she knows your colors and the time of day/season you're having the wedding. I'm sure she'll have fun shopping for something.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    my MIL was hell bent on being told SOMETHING abotu what to wear becuase she is the type of person that gets extremely hung up on stuff matching, not clashing for phoots, not wearing the same color as my mom, etc.  i had told her it didnt care.  i finally told her that my mom would most likely be in blue.  my mom ended up in a shade of purple.  oh, well.  my MIL looked great, but i seriously did not care if she came in pink and my mom was in red. 
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  • Stackeye210Stackeye210 member
    5000 Comments
    That was nice of her to ask.  I just told both of the mom's not to wear the same color.........I also told my mom that she couldn't get a black and ivory dress that she really liked.  I was slightly bridezilla, but I didn't want her wearing something so close to white, especially since she was the one walking me down.  I think giving her an idea of what your mom was wearing was the right thing to do.  I would only be concerned about it any further if you don't care for her normal everyday dressing style and think she'd come inappropriately dressed.  But it doesn't sound like that is the case.   
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  • september's brideseptember's bride member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    Good call. I told all the mothers that the only requirement was that it was comfortable, and something they could wear again.
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think that's good.  So I'd let her go with that.  If she asks again, maybe you could offer to go shopping with her, if she wants?  I don't think there's anything wrong with offering guidance when it's asked for.  Some people really are concerned with "matching" or looking good in the pictures, etc.

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  • ktjanesmomktjanesmom member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Since she asked, you can give her ideas, thoughts.    I would not have said "I really dont care".   You could have put that differently.
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  • ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
    2500 Comments
    Mine asked too. If you have pix of the bridesmaid dresses that should help her.  That's what I gave to MIL.
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  • skimecrnskimecrn member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
    I didn't actually say the words "I really don't care". I said, "It's up to you... there really isn't a dress code so just go with whatever you like" Then I told her what my mom was wearing.
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  • amber1011amber1011
    100 Comments
    I guess I'm kind of bridezillaish on this because I told them that I really want them to match the wedding colors. I asked them to wear orange with white accents.
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  • bethbloombethbloom
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    Sometimes more specific guidelines are better...FMIL asked and I told her colors, what my mom was wearing, and she got a nice dress that worked perfectly. Then decided she wanted something else and is now wearing a black and white pantsuit sparkle thing. She's gonna look shnazzzzzzzy.
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  • zippitybzippityb member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Please tell me the pantsuit has shoulder pads.
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  • bethbloombethbloom
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    Oh I REALLY hope so. But either way, the sparkles will make up for everything else.
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  • anna.oskaranna.oskar member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    "I assume she knows your colors and the time of day/season you're having the wedding."I made the mistake of assuming that as well. FMIL showed me the dress she boiught and it's ridiculously young, casual, and she's going to look like a candy cane
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  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    How does black and ivory look "bridal?" My aunt wore a tea-length white lace number. As a second-time bride, there was a DISTINCT possibility that my dress could have fit that description perfectly. I was amused by her choice (not so amused that her RSVP for 3 turned into only 1 coming, but didn't tell me in time to take the numbers out of the final head count). Here she is:
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  • zippitybzippityb member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Who shot the doily?
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  • mandysmearmandysmear member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    I told my MIL to wear whatever she felt comfortable in.  She made herself the most beautiful simple purple dress.  She looked fabulous.  PIB.

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  • skimecrnskimecrn member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
    You guys are scaring me! I'll give her a little more guidance, I guess.
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  • steffenfamsteffenfam member
    100 Comments
    Wow, Amber, as an MOB myself, it was hard enough to find an adequate dress, let alone an ORANGE one.  Good luck to the moms!
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  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    LOL, Zippity! Now I've got the old Eric Clapton song going through my head - "I shot the doily! But I did not shoot the hankerchief."
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  • zippitybzippityb member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    HA!
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  • jenber12jenber12
    First Comment
    My FMIL got very annoyed with me when I didn't tell her exactly what to wear.  If's she's not comfortable with her own skills in choosing clothing, she'll probably feel better if you narrow down the options a bit for her.  It feels weird to set out guidelines for other people's clothing, but if they really want the help, it's better to just do it.
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  • anna.oskaranna.oskar member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    This is essentially the dress that my 63 year old FMIL (not in shape or fit) has bought to wear at our wedding.  
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  • steffenfamsteffenfam member
    100 Comments
    Anna, she can't be serious!  With the wedding in Dec in SD??  Well at least people will be laughing AT her, not WITH her.
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  • sammi1285sammi1285
    100 Comments
    I just told them I didn't want them to wear white.
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