Why'd you change your name?

leah2b · August 2009

One of my male co-workers from a few jobs ago did change his last name to his wife's, which I thought was cool. As for me, I am not changing my name mainly because of work - I have alot of published opinions in my name and have earned my reputation with my name, which is important in my field. My fiance could care less whether I change it or not, although his pretty traditional family will probably initially raise a few eyebrows. I also feel like kids (if I decide to have them - not sure yet) will be just fine with it.

melissa82 · August 2009

but I know only 1 person who didnt completely take her husbands name, she hyphenated it and I am no where near shelteredNo one's arguing that it is not the norm, we are saying it may not be the norm in the future as more and more women are making the choice not to change, be it for career or personal reasons.And just for the record, I am not sure how exactly you 'know' that they all changed their names. I think many people will not know that I didn't officially change my name.

erikag23 · August 2009

not changing my name was never a thought. you get married, you take your husbands name. i respect those chicks who want to keep their name, but for me it was a no brainer. my new legal name is: erika middle initital maiden last name initital new last name.if any of that makes sense without me telling you internet people my real name

kathymarie · August 2009

but you are in the vast minority. I am sure a lot of you will say you are not in the minority, but I know only 1 person who didnt completely take her husbands name, she hyphenated it and I am no where near sheltered, if that is the next commentThis is not compelling evidence either. It is an individual choice, not one to be based on minority/majority rules. I dont do things because "everyone else is doing it," nor do I strive to be different. It is just what I felt comfortable with for me. I also reserve the right to change my name in 22 yrs if I want to. Or dye my hair blonde. It's a free country.

Danes983 · August 2009

I will be changing my names because I am old school for the most part. My fiance would be upset if I didnt change my name but that did not make my decision for me. Although I am upset I will no longer be Double D (DD) Taking on a new name will bring on more fun nicknames too. Its all about choice. No one is wrong or right in this.

anika6200 · August 2009

I will be changing my name, but it can be a problem for kids, ditto Cheryl on that my FI's mom got remarried and they had a lot of problems, from him getting his drivers liscense bc of a parent vouching, getting medication for him from the pharmacy, insurance etc and there is a really bad legal situation that also ensued from them having different names , so it can be an issue.

I <3 Seabass · August 2009

I am sure a lot of you will say you are not in the minority, but I know only 1 person who didnt completely take her husbands nameAnd exactly how many people do you know? I doubt it's enough to be statistically significant to make a generalization like that across the entire population.

USER876 · August 2009

Because this is the first time I am hearing such a large % of people not taking the names. I don't think I know one person that is older that hasn't taken the husband name.....maybe a few that hyphenate both last names, but that's it.

USER876 · August 2009

Found this tidbit....Each year, approximately 3 million women change their name. They give up their maiden names and take their husbands' surname upon marriage. That's 90% of women who marry.

Just Jen · August 2009

I'm excited to take FI's name. I think I'll always have my nickname (Which involves my last name), so I don't really feel like I'm "losing" the old Jen.To me, it's just part of us becoming a family.Plus, new last name is Jen Ryan -- totally google proof ;-)

kathymarie · August 2009

USER-- I do agree, I find most women I know do change thier name. Most people asked me "what will your new last name be?" and not "are you changing your name?"

Just Jen · August 2009

new "full" name is Jen Ryan. You know what I mean.And FTR, FI has no opinion one way or other about me changing. He's cool with either.And I also appreciate when a girl keeps her name. It's just not for me ;-)

melissa82 · August 2009

Changing your name is definitely the norm. I've read it's 80%...I don't think that's the issue though...the fact that it's the norm doesn't make it right or wrong. It's an individual choice.

magsugar13 · August 2009

Funny, I'm older and I'd say at least 25% of my female friends and co-workers have kept THEIR last names. Maybe I am just attracked to people who view things as i do.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

"I am sure a lot of you will say you are not in the minority, but I know only 1 person who didnt completely take her husbands name"In my circle (which, to be fair, is mostly lawyers who work at large law firms in New York City), I am in the minority but it is close. I know lots and lots of girls who didn't take their husband's last names. Not that my anecdotal evidence is at all an indication of what the normal person does, but neither is yours Brad.

USER876 · August 2009

You guys are really gonna regret it when your kids bank accounts are all hacked because people know their mother's maiden name! LOL

kathymarie · August 2009

LOL User!

cvl105 · August 2009

haha User! I've thought of that before!!!

kewltif · August 2009

LMFAO User!

linyoung · August 2009

I can't wrap my head around an old MAN made tradition of just the woman having to change her name either. so I am keeping my name until I have children, then I'm hyphenating and my childrens names will be hyphenated as well because they are from BOTH OF US, not just him. I will work just as hard as my husband, we will equally contribute to the family. He is not the "head of the household". we both are.

lisaallen80 · August 2009

I actually went down to social security yesterday and changed my name. I'm not going to lie and say I was so excited about it; I wasn't. In fact, it was kind of sad. I've doodled my first name and my "new" last name many times before we were married, but the woman at SS said, ok, sign your name...your NEW name, it felt very odd to be signing something without MY last name. It's not that I LOVE my last name so much, it's just MY name, MY identity..and suddenly you're someone else. Although I feel this way, I still changed my name. I like the tradition part of it and want to continue that tradition on in our new family. We just got married a few weeks ago and honestly, I just wanted to kind of "get it over with." I didn't want to continue being "me" for much longer because I knew the longer I waited, the harder it would be. I do like be a Mrs. though. In the end....I'll always be ME....I'll always have my last name attached to my being one way or another!

Soti · August 2009

I have to chime in here. I am divorced and I have a five year old daughter. When I divorced and went back to my maiden last name, my daughter has my ex-husbands name. For those of you that think that it will not effect your children, even in this day and age, I have to vehemently disagree. I experience it every time I register my daughter at a new school, activity, day camp, when I take her to see a new doctor, etc. Just this morning I went to complete her Kindergarten registration and the secretary asked if I was her guardian. When I said no she immediately assumed (albeit correctly) that I was divorced and proceeded to ask me legal questions about visitation. Granted, they were appropriate in my case but if I had just chosen to keep my maiden name I would have had to correct her.A few months ago I had to take her to a specialist and they gave me a hard time about treating her because of the different last names. I've also experienced difficulty with medical insurance.I won't even get into how difficult it was to travel out of the country with her.So, yes, it does make a difference and yes, people do make assumptions. In spite of all of this, it is a personal decision and I am not suggesting that one choice is better then another. Just know that it is not as simple as some of you have presented it.

njbrowneyedgrl74 · August 2009

I'm not a totally traditional person, but for this I was. I happily changed my name, but I will say writing the new name is very odd. It's funny because I have to stop and think before I write, so I don't write my old one. On a positive note, this one is so much shorter than my Italian last name.Lisa Beth

teamAandE · August 2009

I did the wholeFirst name maiden middle new lastI did not have a middle name before so it worked for me. It was very important to me to be a "family" and I want my children to have MY last name not just my husbands! If it's the same last name there is no issue. I was actually very excited to change my name, it made marriage different than engagement.

brad1431 · August 2009

well said soti, it does affect them, why create an issue when there isnt one. one of my coworkers said that is why we have such a high divorce rate, you should be one family with one name. It is like you are assuming you might get divorced and want to keep your single name in tact.

cvl105 · August 2009

It is like you are assuming you might get divorced and want to keep your single name in tact. Oh brad, what an awful assumption to make as to why people are keeping their maiden names.

brad1431 · August 2009

chelsea, that is what my coworker said.

cvl105 · August 2009

oh ok...I misinterpreted your sentence wrong. sorry. That is an awful assumption for your coworker to make lol

brad1431 · August 2009

he comes from a different culture, but I thought it was an interesting interpretation

ShanaJune2010 · August 2009

Anything is better than my current last name! I'll still have to spell FI's, but probably only once per conversation so they know it's an s in there and not a z like it sounds. With mine, I usually have to spell it three or four times phoentically "A as in alpha" and they STILL get it wrong. My last name has caused me sooooo many problems because people cannot understand how to spell it. Honestly, this is one of the things I'm most looking forward to about getting married, haha. I love FI's last name!