Question for the girls who want to keep their last name?

brad1431 · August 2009

Shouldnt you want to keep your mother's maiden name as your last name? After all you are desperate to keep the last name she took from your father. Aren't you contradicting yourselves?

DMLJ · August 2009

Why cant it be because you want to honor your father?

jen629 · August 2009

we are not answering your questions until you answer ours

kathymarie · August 2009

No. I am keeping MY name. The name on my birth cert and degrees. And no one is desperate. It is a matter of choosing.

kewltif · August 2009

I'm planning to take my paternal grandmother's maiden name. I am very desperate!

kathymarie · August 2009

LMAO Tiff!

USER876 · August 2009

Whose name do the kids get?

kewltif · August 2009

My kid's will get my maternal grandmother's maiden name- to be fair!

kathymarie · August 2009

MH and I agreed that the kids will have his last name. He feels VERY strongly about this.

brad1431 · August 2009

shouldnt you be taking the last name of the female blood line as far back as you can go. That would really prove your point that you dont think you should take the man's name.

mbcdefg · August 2009

shouldnt you be taking the last name of the female blood line as far back as you can go. That would really prove your point that you dont think you should take the man's name. My last name's going to be Ug, for my cavewoman ancestor.

kathymarie · August 2009

Not really since all the maiden names came from that woman's father. Not one person on here said you shouldnt take the husband's name. Not one. People stated that they were or were not for whatever reason. I don't think anyone passed judgement or said anyone is stupid for making a choice. It was just a discussion.

DMLJ · August 2009

Maybe I should just not take any last name......... in the hopes of maintaining a more private life......

uppereastgirl · August 2009

I can't "keep" my mother's maiden name because I never had it. And I am not desperate to keep anyone's name-- I just like my name because I had it for 28 years and it is my name. It has nothing to do with my father.My sister's middle name is a family name (last name of our first relatives to come to America, on my mother's side) and she gave my niece my mother's first name as a first name, her mother-in-law's maiden name as a middle name, and her husband's last name (which she took 2 years after having my niece) as the last name. If feasible and not ridiculous, I think there are nice ways to pay tribute to different parts of the family. All parts are important-- not just my husband's father's family.My father's middle name is his mother's maiden name.That said, I would not give my last name to a child as middle name. Particularly with my husband's long Polish last name. That would just be cruel. So I'll probably try to figure out some way to incorporate a name from my family in a child's name (assuming I ever have a child, which I am not assuming).But Brad, just out of curiosity, you realize that you're not a very logical person and a lot of your arguments and/or assumptions and/or conclusions are asinine or at the very least invalid and/or unsound, right?

I <3 Seabass · August 2009

But Brad, just out of curiosity, you realize that you're not a very logical person and a lot of your arguments and/or assumptions and/or conclusions are asinine or at the very least invalid and/or unsound, right? Amen!

brad1431 · August 2009

actually I am very logical, that is why I do for a living what I do, but then again I am one of only 2 dudes on a board full of bridezillas, who takes crap from them and still comes back cause he cares about his wedding. So logic kinda goes out the door there.

DMLJ · August 2009

Where are the bridezillas? Correct me if I'm wrong but once one of us gets out of line with a bridezilla idea, they get shut down fast.

brad1431 · August 2009

DMLJ, no on specific, just saying I could be the most logical person in the world in my element, but I am one of 2 guys on a board full of women, so that kinda goes out the door.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

Why don't you walk us through the argument if you're so logical? I would be very interested to see how your conclusion follows from the premises.

kewltif · August 2009

What do you do for a living Brad? Are you an account or something? I can't remember. I find you to be very rules oriented. There is right and wrong, black and white. The vendor is good or bad. In this case, not taking your husbands name, is breaking the "rules" and you can't wrap your head around why anyone would want to do that without making ridiculous and far fetched examples.

brad1431 · August 2009

you dont want to take your FI name cause you think it is sexist to take his last name. But your name is the name that your mother took from your father, so you are being hypocritical or insulting your mother.If you really are against taking the man's name, you wouldnt want the man's name that your mother took or any other woman in your family's history took, you would have to go back to the first name in your bloodline on your mother's side and take that, cause every other name was taken from a man.

kathymarie · August 2009

Ok Brad, but what about those of us who are established with our names in our adult lives who simply just don't want to change our names? Nothing to do with sexism. I am a feminist--and that involves exercising my choice to do what I want--whether it is change my name, keep it, or get a tatoo on my forehead. I also want to be a stay at home mom--and that is my choice, nothing to do with tradition, sexism, history, or rules.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

you dont want to take your FI name cause you think it is sexist to take his last name. But your name is the name that your mother took from your father, so you are being hypocritical or insulting your mother.If you really are against taking the man's name, you wouldnt want the man's name that your mother took or any other woman in your family's history took, you would have to go back to the first name in your bloodline on your mother's side and take that, cause every other name was taken from a man. Ah, gotcha... false premises, false dilemmas, question begging... good times!

uppereastgirl · August 2009

Sorry, meant to put your part in quotes... s/b:"you dont want to take your FI name cause you think it is sexist to take his last name. But your name is the name that your mother took from your father, so you are being hypocritical or insulting your mother."If you really are against taking the man's name, you wouldnt want the man's name that your mother took or any other woman in your family's history took, you would have to go back to the first name in your bloodline on your mother's side and take that, cause every other name was taken from a man." Ah, gotcha... false premises, false dilemmas, question begging... good times!

brad1431 · August 2009

do whatever you want, but do it for a good reason, but to do it cause you are feminist and trying to prove a point, or cause you think it is wrong to take the man's name, or something superficial like that is not good. One family, one name, that is the logical thing.If it means something to you, you can make it your middle name, but dont do it to make a point or take a stand. If you are a business owner and it would be too much trouble to change your name fine, but dont do it cause you are a feminist, or cause you want to prove a point. There are better ways to do that.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

Brad, it is very clear that you're either kind of an idiot, or the best MUD this board has ever seen.

DMLJ · August 2009

How is it not a good reason to not want to take the name because you feel it is sexist? I could definitely understand and respect that. Maybe your mother didn't feel this way, but you do.

brad1431 · August 2009

wow cheryl has some anger issues... I didnt label anyone as anything, I said do it cause you have a good reason, dont do it to make a point or take a stand. do it cause you love the name or are emotionally attached dont do it cause you are a feminist or think it is sexist to take his name. dont make a political statement when it comes to how you are going to be a family, that isnt good

cherylanddan0706 · August 2009

Yup anger issues, going to tell me you feel bad for my FI now????

melissa82 · August 2009

Everything is not one reason only--I do happen to think it's a sexist practice, however, that is not my only reason for wanting to keep my name. And for what it's worth--we had no control over our last names as a baby, so to say we should "want" to revert back to some other name we never had is completely illogical. This is the name I HAVE, and that I've grown accustomed to for almost 27 years and so I am (1) emotionally attached to it and (2) don't want to perpetuate what I see as a sexist and outdated practice. I also am published under my name. Additionally, FI's last name is even harder to pronounce than mine, and people start practically convulsing when they try to spell it. HE even gets annoyed with it and has considered creating a shortened version to register with the SEC (for his job).

brad1431 · August 2009

melissa, congrats on being published being emotionally attached is one thing, but I think some think they are making a political statement and think if they do it then their kids will do it and the entire world will do it. but then if everyone takes the bride's name, guess what, that is sexist too..... It HAS to be sexest cause there are two people of opposite sexes who get one name, either way it is sexest, no matter which you choose.....and having parents with different last names is just dumb, why create confusions and problems???

Question for the girls who want to keep their last name?

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