Moms and Maids

MOB - Black Dress

Hello.  My wedding is October 17.  We are having a 5 pm ceremony with a dinner reception after that.  My wedding colors are eggplant with copper accents.  My mom has been shopping for a dress to wear to the wedding.  She recently lost a lot of weight and wants to show off.  She was not happy with the options at the bridal stores and found a dress she really likes at a department store.  It is black and she asked me if people would think that she would be "mourning the wedding" if she wore it.  (FYI - she really likes my FI and is excited about the wedding, so she's not trying to make a statement.)  I told her I didn't think so, since the wedding is in the evening and the dress is much more festive than something you'd wear to the funeral.  Plus, it would match and she would probably wear it again too.I just wanted to get opinions from others to gauge how it's perceived now.  (I'm the oldest in the family so there's not a bunch of weddings we can use for reference.)     Thanks everyone!  :o)  

Re: MOB - Black Dress

  • edited December 2011
    The old idea of MOB and MOG not being able to wear black to the wedding because it would be perceived as them not condoning the marriage has, thankfully, gone by the wayside.Tell Mom that if she wants to wear black, and that's what she feels absolutely fantastic in, then that's what she should wear. 
  • mob2006mob2006 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the pp.  Black is such a prevalent color for evening wear, that many mothers (and guests) wear it to weddings.  Tell your mom to go ahead and get the dress.  If anyone comments negatively, tell them they are hopelessly old fashioned!
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Black is chic and totally appropriate for MOB.Retread has said that in some areas of the deep South is is considered inappropriate but even she says tha't a bit antiquated.
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is from a 2009 wedding website, not some antiquated 1953 book: Find Your Hue Decide what color you want to wear. Start looking with several color preferences in mind -- but stay away from white, cream or ivory (you don't want to look like you're trying to steal the spotlight). Moms will also want to rule out black -- that whole mourning thing. The best Mother of the Groom and Mother of the Bride dresses compliment the mom's coloring and don't clash with the wedding colors (no, the dress doesn't have to match the bridesmaids'). And those are the color rules followed by Southern people in weddings even today. That said, my own mother chose to wear a beautiful BLACK Delta Burke suit with white trim and white collar and white shoes. And FMIL wore a print dress that had a BLACK background. They looked and felt great. I couldn't have cared less. So maybe you should shrug and let this go - your mother will look terrific and feel terrific in her new BLACK dress.
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    What wedding wesite does that come from?
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I live in Atlanta Georgia.  I'm not sure you can get deeper in the South.  I won't be wearing black to my daughter's reception in a couple of weeks because I would seriously get the side-eye for it from all these good ole' girls, even though I have a black dress that I love, and look great in!  :-(    However, if she feels great in it, and you have no issues with it, I think she should wear that dress.  Provided the same people who will be at my daughter's wedding won't be at your wedding!  LOL!
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm sure no one will think anything other than that your mother looks very elegant.
    image
  • simplyceesimplycee member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My niece just got married this past May, and both the MOB and MOG wore black...and both looked stunning. Both mothers were over the moon happy with this marriage...no mourning on either of their parts. Also, just as an FYI....I've been scouring dress websites for my MOB dress, and almost every single dress is available in black. It's probably the easiest color to find in a MOB/MOG dress.
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    To KMMSSG: That's NUMBER FOUR on the SIX ESSENTIAL SHOPPING TIPS FOR MOB. I'll put the URL her, but it will probably have this in it somewhere - maybe more than once and you'll have to remove that in order to go to the website: http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/6-essential-mother-of-the-bride-dress-shopping-tips.aspx
  • edited December 2011
    My FMIL is for sure wearing black. Heck my colors a re black, red and ivory. My MOH is wearing a black dress with red accents. I think if she loves it and it looks good on her go for it!!
    Dx with PCOS at age 19. 29 now. 50mg Clomid-no response. 100mg Clomid-TI/BFN. 100mg Clomid-no response. 150 mg Clomid- no response. January 2013 consult with RE. 1500mg of Metformin. 5mg Femera CD 5-9-?
  • edited December 2011
    We've asked our guests to not wear jeans or cowboy hats (I live in AZ, and unbelievably, I've seen this at formal weddings...and the cowboys hats are just a personal issue). Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, that includes the family too. My daughter's FMIL was joking that she was going to wear a bandana halter, mini, and hooker boots and all we thought was that it would make for hilarious pictures! Who cares what she wears as long as she feels good in it? And if anyone else has a problem with it, it's their problems, not hers and certainly not yours. Do not let the "what will the neighbors think" mentality enter into your wedding at all. Have a beautiful day! And make sure you tell your mom she looks drop dead gorgeous
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