Strip club

loveypants · August 2009

I was never thrilled with the idea of FI and gang going to strip club for his bachelor party, but I have no intention of telling him what he can/can't do. His guy friends really really want to do a strip club and FI says he doesn't care one way or the other (I know what that means) he just wants to drink with his friends.So last night Fi and I and couple of guy friends of mine decided to go to the nicer of the strip clubs near us. I thought it might help my stress of the bachelor party. It didn't! I had no idea that if the guy is cute the girls will make out with them. The girls grap the guys hands and put them on their boobs. Tell the guys to smack their butts. That was just in the normal room, not VIP. Is that normal?!I thought there was a we can touch you but you can't touch us rule. No?

Brie2010 · August 2009

Every time I've been to a strip club, it works pretty much like that, minus the making out. The girl can say "touch my boobs" and you can, but you can't really do it of your own accord. I'm pretty sure it's just a sales ploy to get the guy interested to buy a lap dance. I've never seen making out/excessive touching without paying for a lap dance.I wouldn't worry, though. He's not going to leave you for a stripper.

crfische · August 2009

You signature is huge. Where's Ricks when you need her? That doesn't sound like the strip clubs I've been to.

mrsLesGrossman · August 2009

In NY, if there is touching back from the guy, it is prostitution. That isn't how it should be at a strip club and I wouldn't let my husband go to place that allows that. You should talk to him and say you are not comfortable.

crfische · August 2009

Brie, that was funny.

loveypants · August 2009

better?!I was bothered!! I was setting myself up to get there and think, see this isn't that bad...Then I felt like I was in studio 54, grabbing and making out. not cool.

crfische · August 2009

Yes, thank you! I think I'd be bothered if there was making out involved, too. Strip clubs, I could usually care less about. What do you mean by "making out?"

brookelynpaisley · August 2009

I've never seen making out, personally. And all the clubs I've been to don't allow touching unless it occurs during a lap dance. I've never witnessed a girl even telling a guy to grab her boobs. You can have a mature discussion with your fiance about how you feel without it turning into "You can't go!" He's marrying you, he should care how you feel about this. Like Brie said, he isn't going to leave you for a stripper.

Brie2010 · August 2009

For the record, making out would bug me, too.But the looking and an occasional boob grab, no. I trust him, it's all in good fun, and like I said, he's not going to leave me for a stripper.

shellydiane820 · August 2009

I've heard stories about what goes on in the VIP room.I wouldn't care about going to a strip club but making out is a no no. I don't think he would anyway.

veronabrit · August 2009

Guys cant touch them unless the girls allow them to or the girls place their hands on them.Honestly, I am comfortable with strip clubs if there is no touching or lap dances involved, though I would be open to my husband getting a lap dance if I was present (but I am fairly certain he wouldn't want one).DH always says it is pointless for him to go to strip clubs because no girl could be hotter than me. I know he's lying, but gosh I love him for saying it!

yuodelj · August 2009

Wow....never heard of that before. I thought the same as you. It might be different for an at home show (mine did that and I haven't asked about it yet)...but that seems way beyond what normally goes on...

shellydiane820 · August 2009

Oh Verona! You're way hotter than a stripper!

loveypants · August 2009

ok. well the girls were mouth kissing the cute guys. The not cute guys got what I expected for everyone. No real touching, boobs in their face.I should clarify that the touching and kissing was during lap dances or when guys would walk up to the dancer stages. FI friends are super excited to get him drunk and make butts of themselves. The best man kinda bugs me. He has said that he wants to get FI laid that night. I completely trust FI would never do that. But do I think that if he and his friends are drunk and they are buying him dances and the girls grab his hands and rub them on them, that he will pull away? Probably not.Thats why I am asking if this is normal because I am not ok with the rubbing and touching and kissing.

veronabrit · August 2009

I also agree making out is a no no. ew.

veronabrit · August 2009

Oh Verona! You're way hotter than a stripper!as long as my husband thinks so I am happy!but seriously I have been to some strip clubs where maybe 15-20% of the girls were ones that I found attractive. The other girls were usually on drugs or looked too made up (where you couldnt tell what they really looked like)

veronabrit · August 2009

He has said that he wants to get FI laid that night.If one of my husband's friends said that to him while we were engaged, it would end the friendship. That is not something to even joke about. It is disgusting and rude.

shellydiane820 · August 2009

Yeah, strip clubs around here are pretty skeezy.I went in one and a girl from my school in special ed was stripping.

Brie2010 · August 2009

But do I think that if he and his friends are drunk and they are buying him dances and the girls grab his hands and rub them on them, that he will pull away? Probably not.If you don't trust your FI to not do something you've specifically said bothers you, I think there's a bigger problem.FI and I have strip club rules. He's only been once in the 2.5 years we've been together, for another guys bachelor party. I'm fine as long as he doesn't get a private lap dance (public is fine). He respects that because it's not unreasonable of me to ask of him.Aside from all that--strippers are just trying to make money. Asking the guys to touch them is really just a marketing ploy to get them to get big tips and sell lap dances. Not a big deal.

shawna77inil · August 2009

The rubbing stuff is pretty standard, especially if there is a group of guys and, as I said before, the girl sees big opportunities to make lots of money. Rest assured that none of these girls are going home with anyone. They take all their money, then move on to the next sucker. The kissing thing I have never heard of, but maybe it's different where you are? The only choices I see for you are to either tell him that you really wish he wouldn't go (which makes you the bad guy) or try to trust that he will behave himself and not drink to the point of being an idiot, no matter what his friends try to do. I'd go with a don't ask, don't tell policy. LoL

loveypants · August 2009

He followed it right away with, just kidding!!! I don't care for him but he is FI best friend from high school. (I like FI's friends from college better than his friends from high school)

sucrets4 · August 2009

Omg, did you see msalrb's potential SIL there??

razdazzle_22377334 · August 2009

To be honest I hate the idea of strip clubs, and I know Fi's BM, GM, and friends will plan a stripper or strip club outing for the b-party. I trust Fi will not do anything, and honestly think it is more for his single friends. That doesn't make me like the idea of it anymore, but I have to let it go...and so do you.I agree that kissing is a no, gross!

shawna77inil · August 2009

LMMFAO sucrets. I was thinking the same thing!!! ROFL

katiewhompus · August 2009

I know I'm in the minority on this board and we've had discussions in the past on it, but personally, strip clubs make me incredibly uncomfortable. I'm very glad that dh opted for a strip club free bachelor party. Had he wanted to go I wouldn't have told him no, but he knows how I feel about them and wouldn't put himself in that situation anyways.Honestly, it does worry me when best men/friends go in with the attitude of "it's your last day as a single man, lets get laid".You are NOT a single man or woman at this point. You are already part of a committed and (I'm assuming) exclusive couple. Just because he's not married yet doesn't give him or his friends a free pass to grope other girls or have their "last fling". (Not that yours will, I'm just saying the logic bugs me).

loveypants · August 2009

Brie - I haven't said anything to him about it. So he isn't going against my wishes because he doesn't know how I feel. I know they just want the money and that they don't go home with anyone and that most of the time they aren't even that cute. I just didn't like their tactics to get the money.

Brie2010 · August 2009

Well, then, you need to talk to him and set specific boundaries. Say, "I'm fine with you going, but please no kissing and/or touching." If he doesn't respect that, there's a problem.

veronabrit · August 2009

I would make fun of any guy who made out with a stripper. My gosh. What is the appeal of it? do you know how many potential penises_ her mouth has been on that night? just a thought. Don't mean to be graphic, but I have heard stories.

razdazzle_22377334 · August 2009

Maybe you should let Fi know how you feel? I've told my FI before that I don't like them, not saying he can't go, but more to understand why he and friends would go.

loveypants · August 2009

No, I didn't see msalrb's FSIL. So sad. There were no hot, dumb blond with big boobs....

Hunny03 · August 2009

I don't like strip clubs and FI is very aware of this. He says he doesn't like them either and even told his friends not to take him to one for his bachelor party. FI said it makes him uncomfortable because the only woman he should be seeing topless is me. I think a lot goes on in strip clubs that shouldn't. Gross.

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