Strip club

loveypants · August 2009

Yeah I was grossed out. I can't even imagine what goes on in the VIP room.

ricksang · August 2009

Hmmm. I could tell you that not all clubs are like that, but I am not a lying liar. It sounds like a typical stripclub to me. There is a no touching law here, but some girls still allow touching. They get arrested too, when an undercover cop is in the club. The patrons don't get in trouble, but in some states they may. You should trust your FI though. If he is a good guy, he won't do anything. Also, most strippers only care about money. They really don't give a sh!t what the guy looks like.

louisvillebride21 · August 2009

I don't really have an issue with strip clubs, but I don't like the idea of hiring strippers to come to the house. I've heard really bad stories about that. I'm fine with lap dances and I guess a little touching. I would blow a gasket if there was making out though. The town FI will be having his party in only has really skanky strip clubs and no one really likes to go. Plus, his best man will have been married 2 months before and I know his wife is super conservative and doesn't like them at all. I'm sure they will all end up at the casino and get stupid drunk and spend the night there. I'm ok with that. I really trust FI and his best man not to do anything I would really mind.

loveypants · August 2009

I think its funny that the guys all so badly want to go to a strip club. But when FI best man's wife said "then we can take Jamie to La Bare!" He got mad. He said "you are not going to look at naked guys." Hello double standard!

ricksang · August 2009

Ewww. I'd never go see naked men. Balls aren't attractive.

luckyladyinjuly · August 2009

I don't think this needs to turn into a whole strip club debate, but I just will say that you have every right to talk to you fi about how you feel about strip clubs. If he resepcts you he'll take your feelings into consideration. My fi and had a policy that said if it wasn't ok or something we did on a regular weekend night- it wasn't ok for our bachelor/ette parties. That meant no clubs. Don't let anyone tell you to look the other way. You really do have the right to express your concerns.

louisvillebride21 · August 2009

Haha, I would get mad if they tried to take me to a male strip club. Blah! The female body definitly wins the beauty award.

ricksang · August 2009

Can you guys do a co-ed party? That is what we did.

ricksang · August 2009

but seriously I have been to some strip clubs where maybe 15-20% of the girls were ones that I found attractive. The other girls were usually on drugs or looked too made up (where you couldnt tell what they really looked like)This!

shannonalise · August 2009

FFIL wants to go with FI for his BP. He's a fun guy and FI thinks it would be cool - the GM all love to hang out with him so they're stoked about it too. He's a cool dad.

Last time I saw him, he said he wanted to take them all to Vegas for the BP and then he patted me on the leg and said, "Don't you worry about anything. I'll make sure he keeps it in line." But FI isn't really into the strip club thing and FFIL knows that. BM on the other hand... could LIVE in a strip club. He's a bit skanky. Strip clubs don't really bother me - I trust FI and I know how much he loves me. Making out and excessive nastiness would definitely bother me too though, so I see where you're coming from. Yeah, I've heard some nasty things about the strippers that come to the house. Someone posted about a diildo show these girls did and had the groom put diildos in these different strippers. So gross!

crfische · August 2009

We did our party together, too. It was super fun.

ggmae · August 2009

I honestly wouldn't feel comfortable with my husband going to a place with all of that touching. I would voice my concerns to him and hopefully he'd respect them.

loveypants · August 2009

Yeah I think we will probably go out seperately and do the bar thing and then meet up at the strip club. He just told me that he would rather go to a strip club with me than without me. aww

loveypants · August 2009

haha girls bodies are way better!I was excited to go last night. I was like woohoo hot girls! Then, they were NOT hot and they were all kissy/ rubby.

ricksang · August 2009

Going together will be way better. I see you are in Dallas. Go to the Men's Club.

loveypants · August 2009

Thanks Ricks!

ricksang · August 2009

YW Lovey. I will be honest with you. I have heard Dallas is very lax on their touching policies. Just be upfront with the girls. I think a lot of them will actually like dancing for a conservative couple better.

Puppylove*85 · August 2009

I was not okay with DH going to a strip club for his bachelor party. I wouldn't be okay with DH receiving erotic dances from a friend or neighbor and the fact that strippers are paid hardly changes my feelings. It's possible to have an open conversation about boundaries in your relationship without it turning into demands. If you are uncomfortable, let your FI know. He should respect your feelings. Who knows, maybe he was uncomfortable with the strip club atmosphere as well.

loveypants · August 2009

I had only ever been to one before this time and it was in austin. It was what I thought a strip club would be. Lap dances with boobs in face, but if the guy so much as lifted his hand to her leg the girl would push his hand down. I wasn't expecting to see the rubbing and touching. I guess it was a learning experience? I feel better though that FI doesn't want to go without me.

saschaduran · August 2009

I would never tell my husband he was not allowed to go, but I am not a huge fan. Strip clubs are kind of a social hangout here and I have hung out at most of them at one point or another.There are quite a few strip clubs in Vegas that have private rooms. Sapphire has private skyboxes. I have hung out at a lot of strip clubs here with groups of friends. I have seen many people just get a regular lap dance (which does include touching here), but I have seen things go further. My girlfriend in Detroit works the door for a club on 8 Mile. They have private rooms and they actually have cameras in there, even though the strippers and customers have no idea. She and the manager have sat and watched pretty much everything. Oral, intercourse, no condoms. It is no wonder she is my most negative friend woth low opinions of humanity.

vgmartinez · August 2009

It's okay to tell FI how you feel about it. I don't think boys will be boys, I feel that's just an excuse people say to feel better about what nasty things go on up in the strip clubs. You're right, you can't demand that he not go but let him know where you're coming from. Would he want some guy slapping his thing around in your face which goes on in male strip clubs (YUCK)? IMO, strip clubs are no place for people in serious relationships, especially when you're about to get married.

agk0125 · August 2009

Here are the rules FI and I have set for strip clubs in general including his B-party endeavors:-No naked ladies in the hotel or in any kind of private place.-He's not allowed to spend money on lap dances for himself or others. If someone buys him a lap dance he can choose to accept it since I realize it would be awkward not to.-No private room bullsh!t.-No sex in the champagne roomThat's really about it I think. FI's not into strip clubs in the slightest, so none of it is really an issue. The only reason it's ever come up is that he works on a tour for a couple months a year and some of his coworkers are really dogs who LOVE going to strip clubs in every city if they have the time.Just talk to your FI to create an understanding of what you would be uncomfortable with. Chances are he won't want the kinds of things you're asking him not to do anyway. If he did you probably wouldn't be marrying him, you know?

eastunder1 · August 2009

A friend actually said He wanted a FI to get laid at his bach party? That is horrible. What a shitty friend. He doesn't respect the girl, the relationship, or his friend at all to pull crap like that.

ggmae · August 2009

All of this strip club talk makes me appreciate the fact that DH"s GM didn't throw him a bachelor party, and that even if they had thrown him one, I know that it wouldn't have involved strippers. Phew! I've seen several posts in the past about this and I know it'd stress me out if my FI was having a bachelor party involving strippers.

mandysmear · August 2009

Here you can't lay a finger on the strippers. Not sure what goes on in the VIP rooms though.I love the strippers. Even if you could touch strippers here I would trust him not to touch one. And I also trust his friends not to pay some stripper to have him touch her.

ggmae · August 2009

Whoa, I missed that part about his best man wanting your FI to get laid that night. What the fuuck kind of friend is he to say something stupid like that!?

agk0125 · August 2009

Apparently the friend who said he wanted to get her FI laid followed up with a "I'm just kidding." Not that it makes it any better..It's funny, my FI told me that he had a talk with his men that he wasn't planning on getting laid at his bachelor party so they shouldn't put him in an awkward position. Um, really FI? You needed to say that? Everyone there will either be married or in a serious relationship and I trust all of them. I have no clue why FI thought he needed to tell them that. Stupid boys.

ndzenowski · August 2009

I don't understand strip clubs- although heard the ones here have fabulous food. As far as I know, you aren't allowed to touch the girls here.

saschaduran · August 2009

Yeah I was shocked when my friend told me that about the place in Detroit. She said the whole strip club scene there has really gone downhill. It nauseated me, the stuff she said. I also used to hang out at strip clubs on 8 mile when I lived there and never saw stuff like that. But in Detroit, the guys were allowed to touch the strippers, but not their breasts or anything like that. There are always a few girls that sneak things further, but for the most part the girls did not allow the guys to get away with anything else.I think it varies greatly from area to area. I just happen to be in a more liberal state than most, when it comes to that. Many girls here respect themselves enough not to allow guys to do anything other than hold on to their butt, but there are always the skanky ones. I have been in some areas that do not even allow lap dances and the girls just dance in front of them, which would not bother me in the least.It really really depends on the club and the laws and how much they follow them.

polichik · August 2009

I think it's totally up to your personal preference, but I think you have every right to be uncomfortable with your FI being grinded on by naked women. Decide where your boundaries are personally and negotiate them as a couple. I think it's unacceptable to "forbid" your FI from doing anything (or for him to forbid you for that matter), but if FI was really uncomfortable with something and expressed that to me, I wouldn't do it. He should do the same for you.For us, it's a non-issue. When FI asked his brother to be his BM, he said "On one condition.. No boobies at the bachelor party." I was there, and his BM looked disgusted and went "Agreed." Easy enough for me. One of FI's sketchier GMs wanted to plan one anyway, and FI had a conversation with him in which he told the BM he'd leave if they surprised him with strippers, but that the guys were welcome to go out on their own the week before if they wanted strippers so badly.

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