NWR but analogous: names on return address?

uppereastgirl · August 2009

We just moved and we'll be sending out moving announcements. I did not take my husband's last name. It is too much of a mouthful on the card with both of our full names, and my husband doesn't want to make a big deal to his relatives that I didn't take his last name (I don't see what the big deal is? And shouldn't they know my real name? But anyway... for that reason, the cards themselves just say "John & Victoria" and our address-- no last names. I am going to have the stationer add a return address to the envelopes and wonder if I should put Mylastname/Hislastname (that's alphabetical order) above the address to clarify which John & Victoria it is. Some of our relatives probably don't know that we moved. Or do you think the chances of anyone knowing two John and Victorias in NYC is slim enough that we're fine as is? Some of these people are great aunts and uncles and cousins and such-- they should know us by two first names, right?Thanks!

erikag23 · August 2009

i can't wait for brad's response to this post.

uppereastgirl · August 2009

I was thinking that too

Certainly a hot topic in light of Friday!

cvl105 · August 2009

I personally would put either both your last names or put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

alliecarrie41 · August 2009

i like the idea of just your last names on the return address and just your first names on the actual annoucement.

I <3 Seabass · August 2009

I would put both of your last names on the return address. I don't think it's a big deal either way, but it would probably help people make the connection quicker, instead of having to think about it for a minute.

teamAandE · August 2009

So, would you not consider yourselves "The Smiths"?I am just asking...not trying to be snarky I swear!

caketime · August 2009

I'd add both of your last names or the smiths or something along those lines. Sometimes I get a card from a friend and it takes a second until I realize who so that would be helpful.I think John & Victoria on the announcement itself is fine.

kpeteley · August 2009

She is not a "Smith" she is still a "Jones" so they can't be combined , I agree with Alliecarrie - about 1st names on announcement and last names on return address -

Mye · August 2009

i got a stamper and thats what I did "milene & don" and our address

uppereastgirl · August 2009

Einat, I actually don't. I don't object to "Mr. & Mrs. John Hislastname", although I wouldn't proactively use it, but "The Hislastnames" just sounds wrong to me. Not that my last name is great, but I really don't like his last name (I know that's not very nice-- but it starts with a weird letter and is very Polish and I'm not Polish and even his closest friends pronounce it wrong), and for some reason saying "The Hislastnames" just doesn't sound like I'm part of that group to me.(Brad, flame away. I promise I'm not a feminist though!!!)

teamAandE · August 2009

I understand. I didn't mean it to come off as a stupid comment.I actually don't love my husband's last name and trust me I would not really want to associate myself with HIS family vs. mine, but I do very much like having the same name. Ideally, we would have created a new last name together or he would have taken mine! LOLIn your case, I agree with Alliecarrie. I do also understand how your husband may worry about the older generation folk wondering why you still have your own name but in your profession I think you have a good excuse! (not that you need one...)

uppereastgirl · August 2009

I totally understand his point about the older generation-- but then, his sister is 34, has been dating the same guy for 7 years, lives with him, and has indicated to me that while she plans to be with him forever she doesn't think they'll ever get married because it just isn't something she wants to bother with. So I figure if she can get away with that (and with sending lots of holiday cards with both names on them), can't we get away with having different last names?But I also figure that while I wouldn't correct any of his family for using the wrong name for me, maybe they should know my name?