To Dine or Not to Dine?

laurencarter · September 2009

Hello All,I am having a little disagreement with my mother about my reception. I want a sit-down reception with formal servers and a menu with 2 or 3 dinner choices. My mom doesn't think it's a good idea to have a sit down dinner at the reception. I know it will cost more but since we are not serving alcohol and I don't really want a dance floor, I think that it would be a good fit for me and our wedding. My question is this...In your opinion, is it a good idea to have a sit-down dinner at a reception or is a buffet or hors de'vours a better idea cost and comfort wise?

bethbloom · September 2009

Whatever tastes better is the best choice. And cost wise whore-dervs can equal a plated meal.

MissIntentional · September 2009

i like a sit down dinner, but either works.

Calypso1977 · September 2009

we had a buffet that was all you can eat and people loved it. the beauty of ours is it still included waitstaff for things like serving the salad and dessert (which were not buffet) and tehy also cleared away the tables and poured coffee, etc. we paid MUCH less per person for waht was essentially the same food had we done a plated meal, and folks could go up for seconds, which they couldnt have done had it been plated.

lyndausvi · September 2009

I do not think one is better than the other. Sorry I can't be more help.

betrothed123 · September 2009

I don't think one is better than the other. It depends on the feel you're going for. We had a buffet because that's what H and I, as well as our guests would have preferred.Make a list of pros and cons for sit down dinners and for buffet dinners. Whichever has more pros or less cons is the one that wins.

TiDa2009 · September 2009

I've never been to a wedding with a sit-down dinner, but I really like buffets. They usually are less expensive as you don't need servers and as long as you have enough stations/lines, they can run really smoothly. Plus, in the case of all the weddings I've been to, buffets allow for people to go for seconds if they want.Who's paying for your reception? If it's your mom, she'll get the say in how it's done. If you're paying for, do it the way you want.

danieliza1127 · September 2009

If you aren't having alcohol or dancing, you shouldn't do a hors d'oeuvres reception in my opinion. Those are more for a party/cocktail party type atmosphere usually. In your situation, I would do the full sit down meal that way your reception will at least last through a long dinner and cutting the cake. With no alcohol or dancing, just be aware that most guests will start to leave after they eat cake.

EmmaBride2B · September 2009

I personally like buffets - but that's just my opinion. I like the variety, the option to get more of one thing and pass on something else, and I get to see all the choices before I pick my meal choice. Plus, where I'm from they're cheaper. This can vary, depending on your choices of course.

opalsky007 · September 2009

IMO, as long as your guests are getting fed, it's all about personal preference...I tend to like sit-down dinners better. But one thing you may want to think about is that without dancing and without time for cocktails, your guests won't get to mingle an awful lot. I think if food is the main event at your reception, then you should consider getting people up and moving and talking, by doing stations or an hors d'oeuvres buffet.

danieliza1127 · September 2009

I don't have anything at all against buffets, I just think they tend to go quicker than a plated dinner and since she won't have dancing or drinks, the quicker dinner goes the shorter the reception will be.

AprilWed2010 · September 2009

I personally like the idea of a buffet better. Sure some people will get stuck at the last table to go up to get their food but there are a couple of things that I really like about it. 1) They get to choose exactly what they eat (to a degree). If they don't like beans with slivered almonds, they don't get them. There is not as much waste that way. 2) They can go back up for seconds. When you have people get their own individual plate, that's often all they get. So if they are picky eaters and only like one or two items, they may not end up being full at the end of the dinner. Not to mention, it is typically cheaper. It's all up to you though - the individual plates do seem to give the event an extra degree of formality (IMO).

Kati0105 · September 2009

Plated meals are not always more expensive than buffets, it depends on the venue and the meal options. Our plated meals will actually be less expensive than the buffet we liked would have cost us. I personally prefer plated meals, as I always find the calling one table up at a time while everyone else waits process awkward.

Leah&Christian09 · September 2009

We did a stations style buffet. We considered the plated or the buffet, and for us the cost was about the same either way. For us, the deciding factor was that for a plated meal, it would take 60-90 minutes for dinner. With the stations, it look less than 45. We had a full bar and everyone was more interested in the dance floor, so the food part was the boring part. If you aren't dancing or doing a bar, do the plated.

tlv204 · September 2009

I almost always prefer buffets, but I think a sit down dinner would be better than an orderve (I gave up on spelling it) reception. I don't think orderve receptions are the same thing as buffet receptions at all. And ditto on who's paying for it? Unless your parents gave you the money as a gift with no strings attached (wouldn't that be lovely?) neither of you can really dictate how the other one spends their money, meaning your mom can't tell you what to do if you're paying, and you can't if she's paying. But it's good that you're asking about both sides to take opinions into consideration.

mandysmear · September 2009

It really just depends on what you like and want I think.Around here plated dinners are about the same price as buffet you just have to pay more serving staff. So it's not like there's that big of a difference.PS. I personally prefer buffet because I am not a huge fan of meat, starch, veg. I like to load up on salads and vegetables and then a couple starchy items like potatoes or pasta or something. But, that's just me.

onefishtwofish · September 2009

We are doing similar to what Leah is doing- I think that it is a great compromise between seated and buffet, and has proved to be quite cost-effective.We are doing a family-style passed salad during toasts, etc. then will have four different "stations" for people to visit. I think that it breaks up the buffet atmosphere a little, and I like the intimacy the passed salad offers. I am also hoping visiting stations throughout the room will encourage mingling a bit, but that remains to be seen

polichik · September 2009

Why don't you compromise and do stations? That's my fave option.. You get the formality of a plated dinner but the variety and mingling of a buffet.

fossl04 · September 2009

We're having a family style buffet. I don't really like buffets at weddings when you have to walk between the tables and risk tripping over decorations. Plus the tables that go up first are finished eating by the time the people at the last table are getting their food. The family style is an all you can eat buffet that's served on your table. It's a nice mix of being waited on and having the different food options to choose from. Plus it's the same price as the normal buffet and everyone is served at the same time.

Calypso1977 · September 2009

The family style is an all you can eat buffet that's served on your table. the one family style i went to put the plates at each table and when it was gone, it was gone - no refills. the worst part was taht there wasnt even enough for one serving for everyone at the table. we all went home hungry and it was near impossible to pass the dishes around when you are crammed elbow to elbow at a table. this particular one was turkey dinner, and i thought for certain someone would end up covered in gravy.

To Dine or Not to Dine?

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