Is it rude...?

patrize · March 2010

Is it rude to write "sharply" next to the start time of any wedding related event?

squirrly · March 2010

I can't think of an instance where it would be appropriate or necessary. So, I'm going with yes, it would be rude.

FutureMrsTR · March 2010

Not only do I think it would be rude (for assuming that your guests don't already know that you mean to start on time) but writing "Dinner will be served at 5:30 sharply" (if that's what you mean) doesn't sound grammatically correct either. "Promptly at 5:30" sounds better, but still implies that your guests don't know how to manage time.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

No. Not at all.

BecW2be · March 2010

I think so.

JessAndTrav · March 2010

To me, adding "sharply" shows that you don't think that your guests are capable of arriving on time.

IMO, it would be quite rude.

scoetto · March 2010

Most guests arrive early for weddings anyway, so I don't see why it's necessary.

kikibaby · March 2010

Only if your invitation says, "I will stab you with something... sharply!"

patrize · March 2010

I was thinking of putting this on our rehearsal notifications because honestly, I do have some BP and family members who are not prompt and we have a very limited time slot at our venue.

scoetto · March 2010

If they show up late, it's not the end of the world. They're just being rude to you.

ExpatPumpkin · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:75316ef5-b8c8-49c8-8373-40e0916b7b9dPost:5d784c03-395f-49d9-8fbd-1d0db5ac9ae7">Re: Is it rude...?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was thinking of putting this on our rehearsal notifications because honestly, I do have some BP and family members who are not prompt and we have a very limited time slot at our venue.
Posted by patrize[/QUOTE]

So let the "sharp" part travel by word-of-mouth. Just tell the possible offenders that you'll be pressed for time, so to please be prompt. Putting "sharp" on your invites is overkill and condescending to your guests. Good luck ;)

ThePinkSuperhero · March 2010

You'd want to use "sharp", not "sharply"- the meeting will start at 3 p.m. sharp, not 3 p.m. sharply.

baystateapple · March 2010

Yeah...if people show up late, it makes them look bad. If you put this on your invitation, it's going to make you look bad. I'd just pass it along through word-of-mouth, and try not to let it bother you.

ExpatPumpkin · March 2010

Also, people who are habitually late will not be shocked into arriving on time because of the word "sharp" or "sharply" on an invite. It won't get them there on time, but it will make you look bad

georgia_bride09 · March 2010

Start without latecomers.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:75316ef5-b8c8-49c8-8373-40e0916b7b9dPost:ac1f6fad-40e7-4f74-ac71-a9e87ed64af8">Re: Is it rude...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Only if your invitation says, "I will stab you with something... sharply!"
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

This.

JanoBean75 · March 2010

Is your dinner on a boat? If not, you don't put sharp or promptly on your invitations.

ChelseaBFH · March 2010

I'm about 90% joking here, but why not put on the invitations that it starts 15 minutes earlier than it actually does? If you're printing your own invites, even better -- you can selectively send invites with different times depending on how late you think people will be!

EmmaBride2B · March 2010

Heh, honestly, if it was a family wedding that sounds like one of those things that my mom and I would would call each other and laugh about. Something along the lines of "hmm, I wonder if we don't get to go to recess if we show up late."

I understand wanting people to be on time, but I don't think this is the way to go about telling people. Word of mouth sounds like a good suggestion.

georgia_bride09 · March 2010

Chelsea, that is even ruder than putting "sharply" on the invite. If you don't know what you're talking about, keep the advice to yourself.

ChelseaBFH · March 2010

Georgia, that's why I said I was joking!

JessAndTrav · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75316ef5-b8c8-49c8-8373-40e0916b7b9dPost:079d3c1b-8be6-427a-ad74-2a8131bd2dd5">Re: Is it rude...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Georgia, that's why I said I was joking!
Posted by ChelseaBFH[/QUOTE]

90%. So 10% of you was serious. Thus the reason for Georgia's comment.

squirrly · March 2010

Eh, I'd probably just offer to provide transportation for the habitually late. And make sure they get picked up on time.

wadingmoose · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75316ef5-b8c8-49c8-8373-40e0916b7b9dPost:0bcedc25-a320-4750-9c23-54589536f20b">Re: Is it rude...?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude...? : 90%. So 10% of you was serious. Thus the reason for Georgia's comment.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

Wow. Seriously?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75316ef5-b8c8-49c8-8373-40e0916b7b9dPost:0bcedc25-a320-4750-9c23-54589536f20b">Re: Is it rude...?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude...? : 90%. So 10% of you was serious. Thus the reason for Georgia's comment.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

I actually think if the site was set up as such that you could have some snacks and cocktails before, you could ask people to arrive at 3 vs. 3:30. Then start when they all got there.

However, it sounds as if the OP is getting married in a church because she has a specific time slot she can use.

mrscheetah · March 2010

extremely rude

eastunder1 · March 2010

I like grapes.

JessAndTrav · March 2010

Maybe I just really hate when it says it'll start at 5 and it doesn't actually start until 5:30? That whole concept throws me off.

kikibaby · March 2010

If someone told me something started at 5, I'd be there at 4:45, so I'd be super irritated if it did not actually start until 5:30.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75316ef5-b8c8-49c8-8373-40e0916b7b9dPost:c91064fd-ee21-4dcf-a464-1f013e11c772">Re: Is it rude...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe I just really hate when it says it'll start at 5 and it doesn't actually start until 5:30? That whole concept throws me off.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with you. I'm habitually early. But if someone said, "Rehearsal is at 3:30, but we'll have COCKTAILS at 3" I'd get my ass there by 2:50, even if I was usually running late.

sarabellam · March 2010

(chiming in late and against the grain here) I think this is largely a cultural thing. My Lebanese BIL will be late to his own funeral, by my family's "WASP" northern European-ancestery standards. What "we" (meaning my parents, siblings and I) consider a rude late arrival, my BIL and his family are somewhat taken aback at arriving within 45 minutes of the stated starting time. It is similar with my Venezuelan SIL. I suspect lyndausvi and Expatpumpkin can relate similar cultural differences.

ETA, being a PW, I answered in both threads

Is it rude...?

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