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Confessions Wednesdays!

I confess:1. I am terrified about my engagement pictures and wedding pictures (and video). I hate myself in most pictures and I'm so worried I will hate them all. I'm just not photogenic. And I can't figure out what to do about a tan. I don't want to go tanning. I love spray tanning but I don't want to look orange or streaky. I'm perplexed and I think about it (too) often. I've been really upset with my body lately and it's so upsetting. Ok, vent over on (lack of) self esteem.2. I want my sister to have the baby TODAY!! She's been in the hospital since Monday night due to high blood pressure.. she isn't due until Sept 21st but I want the baby now. I know he'll be fine at 37 weeks and I hate seeing my sister so uncomfortable. She had horrible post-partum with my niece so I'm so worried it will happen again - I want the baby so we can deal with it, head on.3. I want less then 200 people at my wedding and I reaaaally regret inviting certain people (via save the date). If I could do it again, I'd be a lot more cut-throat about my list. We are inviting 271 people and I'm hoping at least 75 don't come.4. I love my FI more then ANYTHING, but if he leaves his undies and wet towel on the bathroom floor one more time, I may go insane.5. I'm PMSing (I think?) and therefore very annoyed at nothing.6. I LOVE MY KNOTTIES - I get so jealous when you all have G2Gs. I can't wait until NOVEMBER!!!!!! Ok. What do you confess? And seriously.. no judging here, so don't worry... I just confessed literally everything on my mind :)
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Re: Confessions Wednesdays!

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    minerva0416minerva0416 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well Here it goes, I confess 1. I been trying to lose weight and im scared i wont make it into a size 4 or 6 by the wedding.. Those pics are lasting forever and the last thing i want to do is look at my round face all the time...2.  that my heart aches when i see my FI stress out about  Our Company Business...3. that i feel peace inside about us getting married meaning we been planning it for a very long time and with ups and down we both want the same, which I love that!!! Before it was me, me, me i want this on the wedding NOW it's us and what we want and made me realized that is not about whos coming to the wedding or inviting people that you probably seen 1 time in 5 yrs ,Really!!! US family and close friends people that love us and that's who we want to share our wedding day... We think !!
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    edited December 2011
    Aw, Court! I seldom tell this to anyone just because, but I do think you are very pretty. I like it when you have your normal skin colour, you have certain glow to yourself and i just love your hair. Eerbody goes through the self esteem rocky path, but don't let it get to you on your wedding! I get you about your sister! My sister in law just had her baby and I'd text momma in law everyday "Now?" lol. I love that little baby to bits :) I'm on my period, so welcome to the cycle. Today is bloating day for me. Blerby. Oh! I am with you on the guest list bit. I want to keep it small, but I know way too many people in SoFlo. What is wrong with me, I've only lived here 4 years! Sheesh. Good luck with your guest list :)
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    edited December 2011
    My turn to confess! 1. I am really surprised at how much I've changed since moving to America and making the conscious effort to ne nicer and more open to people. I find myself in situations in which I would usually start a fight, or try to rip somebody else a new a$$hole, and I steer away from that now. In a way I'm proud of myself, I guess it comes with getting older, and at the same time I find it a bit funny. 2. I am dreading dress shopping. Mainly because I know exaaactly what I want, and I'm scared I won't find it. 3. I have the sudden urge to start Christmas shopping. I'm a dork. 4. I realize that if I go a day without seeing FI, we text and call insanely. We're clingy, but I guess it doesn't cout as clingy when the other person likes it :) I love that man. EEEEEEEE MARRIAGE. Alright. I might have more later. But for now, I need to shut my trap, lol.
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    edited December 2011
    Minerva - I love what you said about your wedding!! It's so beautiful to hear that you guys are on the same page. Sometimes I have to take a step back and remember this is our wedding, not just mine ;)Jen - I REALLY appreaciate that... (especially coming from you, you're stunning). AND I'm so glad I'm not alone on the period AND big guest list. What is with us being so popular?!? hahaha totally kidding. BIG families, lots of loving friends = HUGE guest list. I guess it's a good thing?! Hopefully some people just can't make it, lol. AND - I ALREADY STARTED HANNUKAH SHOPPING!! (LAST WEEK!!) so don't worry, X-mas shop away!!!! What kind of dress are you thinking??Amy - Thank you my love. I have the same thing! I look in the mirror prior to leaving the house and I'm like, okay.. not bad.. then picture time and UHHHHH - a huge mess!!! Thank you again - as for your dress, don't stress. You still have time. Your body is still changing back to pre-baby and you'll be fine. I'm sure your boobies got bigger and body changed but for the better - curvy hips are so sexy. I'm glad you are enjoying breastfeeding!! I hear it can be exhausting though. AND as for wedding stuf, please let me know if there is any help I can give you - I swear, I can help!! LOVE YOU!!!!!!
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    edited December 2011
    Not much on my end except:I can't wait for fall and the leaves to change. I love the cooler weather, fall colors, pumpkins, and lots of yummy food.I beginning to hate the countdown...3 months...I feel things piling up on me!ps. Amy I truly admire you. You're a wonderful mother, selfless and loving. Good job mommy!! You have 2 months I believe so that should plenty of time to get back into the dress. knottie vibes!
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    edited December 2011
    I confess...1. That 2 months before my wedding I changed my photographer but I'm happy with my decision. I love my new photographers!!!! 2. That I haven't worked out in a few months & I find no energy to start although my wedding is in 2 months. 3. That I miss how the board was a few months back, I miss some of the old knotties. 4. That I can't wait to see Britney perform tonight!!!5. I can't wait to see one of my friends get married.
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    edited December 2011
    Courtney -everyone is has insecurities but you are very pretty. your pictures will be beautiful not just because of the way you look but the emotions and love for each other that they will show.Jennius - you will find the perfect dress. don't worry. and if you don't you can always have it made :)Aitirone - the baby weight will come off. the first few lbs are always the easiest.  but you can do it. you will look beautiful in your dress.latina - the leaves changing is my favorite part of fall. that is the one of the only reason i miss being up north.
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you Joanne. That means alot :) I feel blessed I get to stay home with Jordyn right now. I dont ever want to miss a new move! The other day she actually smiled and I almost died! One more confession and this has to do with you....... I am truly truly jealous of people who live in North Carolina. IT'S MY DREAM
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    JillianLLJillianLL member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Court - you are one hot mama!!! First off, you have the most picture perfect smile and hair that I would kill for! Everyone gets nervous about pics, but your photog is amazing and will make you look like a freakin model! It was like 150 degrees the day of our pics and you cant tell right?? Also one word...bronzer! It works miracles, I have a great clinique one thats light but gives lots of color...email me if you want the deets. Amy, you will get everything done, I promise. Lots of those little guys can be knocked out in the same day and if you need help with anything, anything at all I am here, so are Jaime and Alissa. 12 lbs is a very, very attainable goal, you can do it hunny! ok my confessions... I wish I didnt ask some girls to be in my bridal party bc I felt like I had to. There are 2 who I know I am already going to have to chase!  They seem like they could give a rats a$$ about it. That being said, I have a feeling a lot of my friendships wont make it much longer.With THAT being said, I'm ok with that. I moved away from NJ for a reason and I have made such great friends down here.Sorry, I'm obviously having friend issues. A lot of them are great, but others are not so much. I am beyond grateful for the friendships I have made down here, I wouldnt trade it for anything.
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    edited December 2011
    My confessions1. I am so indecisive. I've changed my mind about a thousand times on little things and it is driving my FI batty.2. I wish I didn't have to work and could wedding plan full time. It really is a lot of fun and I can see now why a lot of brides turn into vendors. 3. i'm super excited for my mini-vacation on Sat. we're going to explore downtown miami and hit up one of these miami spice restaurants.  we usually only hit south beach or are in and out of miami for a concert or play so it will be nice to see what downtown has to offer. 
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    edited December 2011
    Jillian - just wanted to say im so glad were friends :)
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    edited December 2011
    Okay  I confess....1. today's my birthday, I'm 26 and I feel old. :(2. I'm sitting here in gym clothes because if I don't at least put them on I won't work out, sometimes I still don't work out, I just wear them all day. 3. my house is a disaster, I have to clean it today before class4. I started clinicals for my masters program this week at a pediatrics office. I saw a child with cerebal palsy and it makes me terrified to go back to work. (I'm a labor and delivery nurse) I couldn't help but wonder if any of the babies I've delivered have developed CP. 5. I told my sister in law that I mailed her a reciept but its still sitting on my dresser...ekk.ok this is too easy. Its should be harder to find confessions. :)
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    edited December 2011
    Amy! I confess I admire you as a mommy. And let me say this: I am certain you will not only fit in your dress, you'll look beautiful in it. Keep the faith! I can't wait to see your wedding pictures :) PS: I confess I'm knotting from my iPhone ... And driving.
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    edited December 2011
    Jodiehelen - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! PS - Sometimes i put work out clothes on and when FI comes home, I lied and said i worked out hahahahah PS - have you done your food tasting yet?? Curious to see what you chose! I just made my menu
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    JillianLLJillianLL member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Me too Amy! You know you're one of the ppl I was talking about! I absolutely adore you and admire you so much, you're an amazing mother and friend.
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    edited December 2011
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY JODIE!!!! 1. I feel like i'm making a huge deal out of STDs! I really need to get moving on them! 2. I'm slowly starting to freak out about where FI and I are going to live. We have to find a place in the next few weeks since his lease is up in Oct!! 3. I'm way excited about planning a G2G! LOL 4. Oh and now my new addiction besides looking for furniture is HGTV! Those home searching shows are so addicting!!
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    edited December 2011
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Jodie! 26 isn't old at all, mama. Enjoy your youth!
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    edited December 2011
    Jillian-I'm going through the same things with my bridal party! I chose them in Dec and a few i've drifted apart from already!
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    edited December 2011
    Amy- Thanks! Done that too! Sometimes what works for me is to go to the getting in shape board and just read what others are doing. A few times I actually got up right then and went to work out. :) P.s. if you need a good book on breastfeeding theres one written by Dr. Sears and his wife. Its called The breastfeeding book (I know...original). Great book. P.s. don't give up, I know its really really really hard but it will get easier. By 2 months you will be glad you stuck it out. As for the tasting, we are doing it October 21st. I am so copying you on the cake and vienesse (sp?) table. My MIL loved the idea. I bought vanessa's candy jars and she was not happy with Ana paz...so I am nervous about her. How was the tasting? What did you decide?
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    avmn10avmn10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I confess...1.  Summer is officially over at work-I'm back to the 9-5 with so much work to do, and I miss not going on the Knot 394 times a day...not to mention I'm now worried that someone will find out how much time I spent on it during the summer.  EEK.  2. My dress was supposed to be in last week, and I wish it would hurry up and get here, I'm dying to see it!!!3.  I too, am very grateful fall is almost here!!! I love the cool air, and football!!! BUT, I'm sure I'll be complaining about the cold in a few months :/ 4.  I really think I want to change my photographer, but I don't want to lose the $800 deposit :(  5.  I've been worried about one one of my best friends participation in my wedding after seeing how she was in one of her other friend's wedding (not booking a flight until the last minute, saying she couldn't make the rehearsal dinner, complaining she didn't have the money for anything, when she knew more then a year in advance of what was expected).  I gave my BM two weeks to get measured, and after a week and a half of not hearing from her, I tracked her down and was told that she didn't have time for it.  I kind of want to order a ridiculously large dress just to piss her off. And now she's moving cross country, and I think I'm really going to have difficulty (cooperation) as I get closer to the wedding.  Phew...glad I got that off my chest =)
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    cinthia122cinthia122 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I confess that I am super stressed about: STD's.  All the OOT guest keep asking me questions, because they need to start booking in advance.  I need to get them out by next week and I need to have my site up.My mom's bday party is next week and just this week I got an action plan from my dad and brother on what we want to do when I have been harrasing them for over a month.  Today I have a huge important meeting with mucky mucks and I am not prepared at ALL!!!!!!!!   
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    edited December 2011
    wow so many confessions already... I'm gonna have to come back to address them all but I've been anxious to get mine out1. I've been DYING for Confessions Wed to confess #22. I absolutely ate an entire Papa John's Large Hawaiian Pizza in less than 24 hours this weekend (all by myself)3. As a result, my weight is exactly the same YET again because all my efforts to lose get counter acted by crap like that4. I'm finally excited for my epics only to realize there is a very good chance that they are going to be rained out5. I went tanning yesterday (despite how bad I know it is) for the first time in YEARS and totally fried my back. I knew I didn't have much of a base tan but I didn't realize how pasty the back of me is... I guess it's b/c I always lay out on my back and never tan the back of my legs or my back itself so yeah... I'm an idiotOk that's all for now. I''ll be back in a bit...
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    edited December 2011
    avm- I know the feeling, I too was sad with my decision I had made with my photographer but now I'm excited about the new one!!! You won't regret changing!
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    edited December 2011
    Joanne - I love Fall too!!!! My favorite season!!!!! Anovaxo - I miss some of the old knotties too, I hope they come back to play!!! And good luck with your new photogs!!!Eagles.Fan - Thank you very much, that was so nice - you're so right. I hope our loves shines through!!! Have fun on your mini vacation!!!!!  Jilly - You are an AMAZING friend - although we have never met in person (haha, so weird..I feel like I've known you forever) - your friends are LUCKY to have you...and I'd love to know the bronzer!!! I'm going to email you in a bit!!!Jodie - Good luck with your clinicals!!!! I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse for a while, an amazing profession!!! Kristen - HGTV is my life - I'm addicted, hahahaha.. beware, they'll make you want to spend so much money on your house!!!!Avmn - Tell your photog an emergency came up and see if you can get your despoit back!! why do you want to switch?? Good luck with the BFF participation!!Cinthia - good luck witht he meeting!!!! If you need help with your wedding site, let me know - I can show you mine for inspiration :)Jaime - I LOVE YOU!!!! I always enjoy your confessions because we're so similar, haha. I love PAPA JOHNS!! At least you didn't gain!! As for tanning, I think (as much as I hate to admit this) that that's my goal for the wedding..just a few times so I'm not pale as a ghost!!
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    edited December 2011
    Court - you are CRAZY. I would do awful, unethical things to have a figure like yours. For real. You are gorgeous and HAPPY and in love and that will radiate through in the photos. Amy - Honey, I have faith that dress will zip. We tried it 3 weeks after you gave birth. the fact that it was able to get on you and zip halfway was a testament to how close you are to getting in it. We are helping you with invites and tags - just say when and we are coming over. Jillian - I hear you. I have had some friendships dwindle. I found that I grew up and some others didnt and while it's sad, it's part of life. I feel very blessed to have met some amazing new friends who have come into my life at the perfect time and I feel like we have been friends for such a long time - instant connection. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 26 is not old, at all :)
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    edited December 2011
    Avm - are they willing to negotiate on the deposit? you are still 5 months out, maybe they will work with you? Jaime... you are going to ROCK those epics. I cannot wait to see them!!!!! ok, so I confess: 1) I am terrified that my dress wont fit when it comes in next month. I dont know why but it's this giant horrid fear. 2) We meet with our wedding cake baker in a week and 1/2 and I cant wait to pick out our design and taste cake!!! 3) I have been very lazy with myself lately. I have not blown out my hair, I'm bad about shaving my legs, etc. I dont know why! 4) I have been growing my hair since december for the wedding and it's long, scraggly and without a style. I am ready to cut it off but I know I cant. grrrr.
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    citytoshore09citytoshore09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Jaime - when you get closer the weight is gonna fall off you. Your body will kick into overdrive before the wedding. Keep up the workouts and remember, its okay to cheat a bit. :) Amy - you will fit in that dress no problem. You're the most gorgeous mom ever (and you were the tiniest preggo!), and every time I see Jordyn I want to have a baby. She's precious. Court - you are so gorgeous from every angle. Enough said. :) Jilly - I totally agree, I wish I hadn't asked my girls so quickly. I knew it was the end of some friendships. The pictures make me sad because I'll miss some people, but I regret having others there. But I love YOU! 1. I'm supposed to go to the Hamptons this weekend and I don't wanna. Its so crowded over the holiday! I'd rather stay home and play in empty NYC. 2. I want my albummmmms! Its only been like 3 weeks since we finalized the layout but I'm impatient. And I know my mom is going to flip out when she sees it. 3. I get so bored during the day that I practically tackle my DH when he gets home. I want a pet but I'm allergic! Hopefully I'll be asking for Knottie vibes soon... Something good has to be coming! 4. I'm SO glad to have my Knotties even if I'm not nearby! I love you guys so much. You keep me saaaane!
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    citytoshore09citytoshore09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Omg Alissa I want to go pick out cake with you. Your FI won't mind, right? Haha. The dress is going to look ah-ma-zing and fit perfectly. I'm psychic. :) Have you trimmed your hair? That was how I kept my sanity about growing it out. Your hair is so glossy and gorgeous, its like a pantene commercial!
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    JillianLLJillianLL member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Awww thanks girls, it comforts me to know that its a normal thing to grow up and realize other ppl have not. I feel so fortunate to have met all of you, some of whom I have not even met in real life!Court, I too feel like we must have known each other in a past life :) Alissa, I am full on obsessed with your hair. There is nothing you can do to it that will make it look bad. When you think it looks like crap, I'm like Ooooh I love your hair! Keep up with the trims though like Danielle said. Jaime, yummo to that pizza! That will jump start your metoblism again and worse comes to worse your pics are delayed and you'll have more time. Danielle, I AM anxious for your albums!!! Cant wait!Happy Birthday Jodiethelen, 26 aint nothin!
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    PinkShoesGalPinkShoesGal member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Courtney: You are gorgeous no ifs, ands, or buts about it! Danielle: I'm a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. Something is going to come along for you that's going to blow you away. Cinthia: Don't stress about STDs. You have plenty of time even if you have a lot of OOT guests. Why don't you create your website first and direct everyone there and then focus on the STDs when you can. Jaime: You are in great hands with Ashley and your e-pics are gonna be incredible!Minerva: Just keep at it with the weight loss and do your best. You'll make it!TheJennius: There are soooo many dresses out there that you will find the exact one you want. And you may just surprise yourself and fall in love with one you never in a million years thought you'd go for.Amy: You are my hero! With everything you've gone through, you always have a smile on your face and the most positive attitude. You have plenty of time to drop those remaining pounds.Latina: I'm sooo jealous you get to experience fall. I miss that season sooo much. It use to be my fave : (Anovaxo: Have a blast at Britney tonight!Jillian: You are truly one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. It's your old friends' loss if they grow apart from you.Eagles: Have a blast in dowtown MIA this weekend!Jodie: Happy birthday! 26 is not even close to old!Bellababy: I have only been able to go to one G2G so far so I am super excited about the next one you're planning. thank you!Goldie: You HAVE to let me know how it goes with We Take the Cake! I can't wait for our appointment.I think that's everyone. Sorry if I forgot someone....I confess....1.) I want two wedding bands. One for each side of my e-ring2.) Half of the sales force was laid off last week and I have absolutely no idea how I survived the cut but it makes me nervous that there will be another round coming3.) I was fine with placing deposits to secure my date with vendors, but when it comes time to make another payment, I hate it3.)3.)  
    TTC since May 2011 "Natural" BFP 1/2/2012 with cp 1/5/2012 5/2012: SA and CD 3 bloodwork perfect 6/2012: Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN 8/2012: HSG all clear. Clomid TI cycle canceled due to thin lining 9/2012: Lap and Hysteroscopy: mild endo, uterine fibroids and septum, and ovarian cyst all removed
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