Name Change Poll:Comment

mandanyrdreams · September 2009

I can't believe how many of you are not changing your name,some just because you don't like it.That is funny.lol Wow, I thought everyone changed it unless you were famous.I want to ask some more questions.What did your FI say about you not changing your name?What will you do when you have kids?Just wondering,I cant wait to get rid of mine.So it is interesting to me how many are not changing.

RachelCheetah · September 2009

I didn't change mine because I am famous. LOLZ.

mandanyrdreams · September 2009

I thought so Rachel lol

RachelCheetah · September 2009

It's late but I still think I may be famous....in a past life maybe. LOL. What did your FI say about you not changing your name? He knows better than to argue with me when my mind is set on something. I am very independent and strong-willed - though I really did intend to change it but when it came down to it, I just couldn't. Yet. Maybe I will have a change of heart sooner or later.What will you do when you have kids? No kids planned in the immediate future if ever. We both each have one from previous relationships.

scarywife1026 · September 2009

DH was fine w/ it. He totally understood and said he wouldn't change it if he were me either! I really, really struggled with the decision. I just figured that's what you do when you get married but when it came to reality, I didn't want to. My last name is a part of me and I'm proud of my name. I'm not interested in hyphenating. We're not having children. If we did, well, he'll have to give in and change his name. I'm still open to combining our names into one too. haha

aprillm730 · September 2009

I'm still on the fence about it.... I might hyphen even though I don't really want to...FI said that I should do whatever makes me happiest.When we have kids, they will use his name.

aldarr · September 2009

hehe...I am one of those who just didn't like it. :-) No I seriously have other reasons besides that though. FI doesn't mind as long as the kids have his name and as long asI don't get offended if people call us Mr and Mrs hislastname (which I wouldn't). We both are lawyers and a lot of women we both work with still go by their maiden names at least professionally,so I think he has had a chance to get used to it. I may eventually change it down the road when we have kids but it is nice to know I don't have to if I don't want to. :-)

LISA R · September 2009

What did your FI say about you not changing your name? He actually says that its up to me to decide if I want to change my name What will you do when you have kids? We have a daughter and she has his last name. No more kids.

Bec&Jim · September 2009

Mine is kinda confusing. Im not changing my name for 2 reasons #1 I dont like his its meaningless to his family (like theres no significance related to it), and #2 I want my Dads last name to go on because I am very proud of my name. Our children will have my name. He says he knows who there father is and doesnt care how it looks to anyone else as long as I am happy. I wanted him to change his name to mine but since his father also just passed away he is against that. He however has 2 brothers to have more "Gore babies" lol He's happy if Im happy.

ms nobody · September 2009

What did your FI say about you not changing your name? My FI is supportive of me doing what i want (he's smart enough not to question me). lol We're both feminists (gasp!). We think it's antiquated and serves no real emotional purpose for us, personally, and our future marriage. Some people need to make that step to feel like a family, or more like a family, and that's totally cool- but we My FI also thinks it's absolutely none of his concern whether I change my name or not, he says "i have no say in this, and i really shouldn't. it's not my name. My feelings aren't valid in this situation." What will you do when you have kids? We are at this point Child Free by Choice. If we do get pregnant, we'll hyphenate. It's the easiest legal option so neither of us are carrying around birth certificates. i refuse to have to carry around documents to prove i birthed a child. I think it's also important to convey to our hypothetical children that they are the sum of two equal parts, so to speak. By the by, FMIL LOVES that i'm not changing my name. Fun fact: the only reason she changed her name was the spite her MIL. Otherwise, she would've kept her given-name. lol My father also thinks this is BA. He doesn't like name-changing. Most of my extended family (the women, especially- who have all changed their names) think this is great. they give me this like... fist pump of solidarity. it's friggin' hilarious! (when you said "can't believe how many of you are not changing your name,some just because you don't like it.That is funny.lol" i've heard people say they CHANGED their last name just because they didn't like their given name... isn't that just as funny? lol - i'm mostly teasing

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tnspight · September 2009

If I were in my early 20s, I'd probably change it. As I'll be 33 when we get married, I'm pretty set in my ways I guess, lol. FI didn't care at all. The women in my family were scandalized! lol You would have thought I told them that I beat him or something.The kids will be Kelly (his name), and I'm sure their friends will call me Mrs Kelly. I don't care. I don't want to hyphenate the kids. Some people use the mother's maiden name as the child's middle name. Fi's middle name is his mom's maiden name.

cmkuno · September 2009

I am probably one of those who mentioned not changing my name b/c I don't like his. But really, the biggest reason is that I don't like the custom, and even before I met him I made up my mind that I'm keeping my name no matter what. The fact that I don't like his name just sealed the deal for me. Also, I'm an attorney, and women keeping their names is pretty common in my profession. Plus I have a good last name for a lawyer. :)What did your FI say about you not changing your name?Well, we've been together for 5.5 years, and I'm a pretty strong feminist and he knows it. The issue actually came up pretty early on in our relationship, and I told him I'd always planned on keeping my name, and he seemed fine with it then, which made me really happy that I had such an open-minded guy. But I think deep down, he thought I was all talk and I would agree to change it when the time came. But I've stuck to my guns, and I'm keeping my name. When we started talking wedding plans, it came up again of course, and I reminded him I'm not changing my name, and he seemed a little upset about it, but didn't argue too much. What will you do when you have kids?The biggest debate we haven't resolved is what to do about the kids. I would like to hyphenate their names. My feeling is, if I have to push a kid out of me, he or she is getting my name too! FI feels like that would be weird, and they should just have his last name and I could hyphenate mine if I wanted. So we're still talking about it. We're not even sure if we're going to have kids, so it may not even be an issue. We'll see.

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