Civil vs. Reglious Marriage

Crook251 · September 2009

This came up in a conversation today. I thought I would get some other views on this. Ok here we go......Someone wants to get married by justic of peace or ordained minister(bascially no in church wedding). They later (3 months to a year) want to get remarried in the church with the whole religious cermony.The pastor of the church(methodist) tells the couple that he cannot and will not perform a reglious cermony as his belief is that it is a lie to God and the public because of the fact that the couple has already had a "civil" marriage.As we know many people go this route. In my 20 some years of being raised in the church I may have missed this but I bibically don't understand what makes this route so incapable of doing. And what about renewing your vows, is that wrong too? What are your thoughts?

OFF · September 2009

This sounds just crazy! This specific pastor just has a bad interpretation of the bible. Is this their normal church? If it is you would have thought he would have said something about this when they were considering a JoP.

missevans · September 2009

So you mean to tell me that since I'm not physically having my ceremony in a church (though it will be with our pastor and scripture and the whole nine) that my marriage is a won't be receognized??? STOP IT! That doesn't make any sense to me.

Mypasmita · September 2009

I think the whole lying thing is the pastor personal point of view; however a civil ceremony is considered a valid mariage in churches (at least in protestants churches). I say this after a convo i had with my best friend who is a pastor. We were talking about a young girl who wants to get married but he (the pastor) -among other people- is not sure that's the right choice for her. He said if she goes and get married somewhere, he (the pastor) can no longer oppose the union or open his mouth to say anything negative about the guy, but pray for them and accept it because it's legal in the eyes of the law and God! I know the Catholic church will not recognize it though! This doesn't now apply for vows renewal obviously, because it's not a new union but an affirmation of vows. It should be ok by most churches. Hope this helps! But sit down and talk to the pastor, if he's the one who you really want to marry you, and ask him what you need to do to make it happen.

blue19violet · September 2009

Say what now? Granted I'm still learning my Bible but that just sounds nutty to me. My hubby and I did not get married at a Church but my Pastor performed the ceremony. I went through a lot of trouble to make sure that my union was blessed by a rep of God. Can't nobody tell me that it wasn't.

cris10c · September 2009

I THINK what he is saying is he won't treat this as a marriage ceremony because technically they are already married. Instead, they should do a vow renewal ceremony. I guess the lie part comes in because those attending the wedding would think that the couple is just getting married and had not technically been married in the past. With that said, I think he is taking things a little too far. Hopefully, they can find someone else to perform the ceremony they really want to have.

mandikaykay · September 2009

I'm Catholic and the Catholic church has been doing stuff like this for years. I wanted a beach wedding but did not want to go through it with my mom and Fi's grandmother (devout Catholics, we're talking daily rosary sayers and everything) about it not being recognized by the church. But in my eyes, I feel like God created everything, why not get married in front of one of his most beautiful landscapes. In fact, a beautiful sunset is where I feel closest to God anyway. But churches have rules, sometimes they are unreasonable. This one is just silly, marriage is marriage. You will be married from a legal perspective, so how is that not recognizable???

Crook251 · September 2009

cris10c........ I see where you are coming from and have thought of this myself. I can also see that being a lie to the public, but who cares about the public. Who are we trying to please here, God or the Public????? For me it wouldn't me the public. But I still don't see how it's a lie to God. God is everywhere, courthouse, church, beaches, where ever. But like you said, maybe it's the termnology, it should be called a "renewal". But in the end isn't it the same thing?

cris10c · September 2009

I think it is pretty much the same thing too. I was just trying to think of what he meant. I also agree that he should just let them have their ceremony.

Lovie 129 · September 2009

This may sound cold, but I have found many ministers believe their name is in the bible instead of God. I wonder if that particular minister is living a life according to the laws of the bible????Never throw stones from a glass house. He needs to remember 'Thou shalt not judge", how about that.

hotmamacita · September 2009

I have a friend that had her pastor marry them earlier this year at her moms house & they will be doing the whole BIG shabang next year at a church & I believe the same person will be performing the "ceremony" the only difference is that other than the people that were there nobody knows that they're married. So I kind of understand where this pastor is coming from if he's saying that he won't perform a "wedding ceremony" since they are legally married.

samshoff · September 2009

I'm getting married next year & my uncle is marring us. We are all catholic & are not being married in a church. We will be legally married, the state will recognize the marriage but we will have to have a ceremony in the church for them it recognize it. It is just a 10-15 minute service done by the preist, pretty much renewing our vows. They have said nothing about the marriage being a lie or that they would not preform this. Sounds to me that this pastor is using his own views againist this as the doctrine of the church. If i was them I would start looking for another church or pastor to do the servivce.

Civil vs. Reglious Marriage

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