Engagement ring/gift for him

leoraanna · September 2009

Hey evreyone! This is my first post and I hope it'll get a few responses. My BF and I are very progressive- we take turns paying when we go out, we share house chores, etc. We are all about the fair. So, for rings, we are going to be able to use the diamond from my mother's old engagement ring (yay for saving money) making things much easier and cheaper. Anyway, I don't think that it's fair that I get a nice new ring and he doesn't get anything. I mean, we both get wedding bands, so why not the both of us getting engagement rings? So I am wondering what people are thinking about engagement rings or gifts for my BF? It doesn't have to be a ring, but something special that I can get for him...

jeanacorina · September 2009

I told my BF (now FI) for years that he could have an XBox 360 after he proposed to me. It was kind of a joke, really. If he'd REALLY wanted one, I would have caved. I wanted one, too. But I told him I'd like to get it for him as an engagement gift, and he REALLY liked that idea.Anyway, a week after he proposed, we went to GameStop and bought an XBox 360 with 2 controllers, Fable 2, and some Microsoft Points.Best engagement present ever. We both play that thing like mad. Plus, it's a much better DVD player than my old crappy one from high school.

saisongbird · September 2009

I don't know how your BF feels about jewelry, but my FI doesn't even want to wear a wedding band. He says he will because he knows how much it means to me and he likes what it represents, but the feeling of wearing a ring he said would drive him nuts. Gift is a much better idea. Or if you want to buy him jewelry, I've heard of engagement watches...

monsoon737 · September 2009

I have heard of an engagement tradition for the guy -- an engagement watch! I'm not sure where the tradition came from, maybe it was to get him to the church on time or to let him know that his days as a bachelor are numbered? ;o) Either way, I think it's a nice gift, as it's something he would use and not feel to be too girly. If he doesn't like watches, I'd go for something non-traditional, like the XBox 360 Jeana mentioned. Good luck!

jagore08 · September 2009

DH got a 50" plasma tv for his engagement present.

TheFutureMrsM-LoungingBeachside · September 2009

I had already bought Fi the really nice watch so what he's getting is a couple of really nice suits that he's been wanting for a while. He hasn't gotten them yet though because he has to lose some weight for his cholesterol so he wants to wait until that happens before he gets measured for the suits....and then I'll get him a couple now for the winter and a couple later (still before the wedding) for spring/summer. Watches are good though IMO. Just try and find something that is definitely a gift for HIM not something that will be a gift for both of you- that was our struggle.

Goldlie11 · September 2009

Did your bf say he would like a ring after he proposes? I don't see what being a progressive couple has to do with it. I'm not trying to be snarky, I just don't see the relevance. Anyway, you can give him a gift of whatever you want. If he likes rings, then buy him one. I would take him with you. You can always use the ring as his wedding band.

agk0125 · September 2009

My BF and I are very progressive- we take turns paying when we go out, we share house chores, etc. We are all about the fair.Honestly, there's nothing progressive about this. It's not 1950, it's 2009 and this is NORMAL. Sorry to burst your bubble.Anyway, I don't think that it's fair that I get a nice new ring and he doesn't get anything. He gets to sit back while you bust your butt doing the majority of the wedding planning because no matter how "progressive" he is he's really not going to care about centerpieces and chair sashes. I think that's gift enough. If you want to get him something though go for it.

leoraanna · September 2009

I appreciate most of the replies! I had never really thought of a watch, and his broke forever ago and I'm sure he wouldn't mind a new one, and a nice one too! I would have thought a little more about the XBox, but we got a wii this winter, but who knows. I'd love some more support or ideas in this matter, but please, no more unfriendly posts. Thanks!

Goldlie11 · September 2009

The truth isn't unfriendly. Like AGK said, many couples take turns paying for meals out, household expenses, ECT. That doesn't make them progressive. Furthermore, he's not even putting out much for the ring. So, what exactly is the point? I don't buy my bf something every time I get something new. Nor does he buy me stuff when he gets something new. You don't need to use the excuse of "I'm getting an engagement ring so bf deserves a gift". If you want to buy him something, then buy it for him. We can't really tell you what to buy because we don't know your bf. Lastly, you have no control over what kind of responses you will get. This is a public forum. You have to be prepared to take the good with the bad.

leoraanna · September 2009

I understand that you may not think that this is progressive, and I think it's normal as well. The only reason I said that was because out of all of my friends, we are the only ones like this. We have friends who occasionally take turns and are equal in things, but not every time. I don't mean that every time he gets me something, that I need to get him something, I just think that if he is going to take the effort to save up and get me something (and he is going to be spending a bit of money) that it's silly to not reciprocate. We are both going to be getting wedding bands, so why not both get engagement items?I know it is a public forum, but I don't see why its important to snoop around and throw out your negative opinions when you could just pass this one by and not say anything? It's just not polite.

Goldlie11 · September 2009

First of all, none of my comments were meant to be rude, just truthful. Second, who is snooping? I was responding to your comments. Only you know if your bf would want to wear an engagement ring. I do believe that some women do buy their bf/fi an engagement gift. It doesn't have to be jewelry, it could be anything, even a nice dinner. Only you know what your bf would like. The it's a public forum comment was meant to help you. Many new people get upset about the advice they receive here. You have to learn how to roll with the punches or you'll end up getting yourself upset. Telling people that they can only post positive comments is just going to get you more negative responses. Like I said before, you cannot control what people post.

jeanacorina · September 2009

Well, you'd THINK that a forum about weddings would be polite and happy.... but not so. These are some of the most honest girls you'll come across. I was taken aback the first time around, too... but they've got some valuable advice.Anywho, the watch is a great idea. I wanted to get FI a watch as his college graduation gift, but we didn't have the money for a nice one back then. One of these days I will probably buy him a very nice, classic watch.Also, we already had a Wii, but a 360 is much much different. They're like apples and oranges. So don't let a Wii keep you from buying a 360. See how he feels about it, what games he'd like to play. Yesterday FI bought Halo Wars, which is a strategy game that will never be released for Wii.Apples and oranges. 360 has online play, better graphics, different games, and plays DVDs. We also use ours to hook directly to NetFlix and instantly stream movies and TV shows from the website.Handy.

leoraanna · September 2009

Thanks Jeana- It's not like I had my feelings hurt though, its just funny because I spend a long time reading tons of threads here and I didn't find anyone who had the same type responses. It was like I asked if people liked chicken or fish more and someone swooped in and said neither, they're lame, I like beef so you should get beef. You know what I mean? It just seemed a little uncalled for. And I was so excited at first too because I had so many positive responses, till they seemed to take a slight turn downward. I'm sure it'll flow back up though, so it's not like I'm defeated!

jeanacorina · September 2009

Haha, you're welcome. You're all happy and optimistic on the internet.... I love it. It's like me.... 5 years ago. Before I was jaded by people who say whatever they want no matter how much you ask them to play nice.Dang, I sound so emo. I feel like I should go write a song about the internet being an unhappy place or something...Maybe I can work in something like "And nobody gets jokes about chicken cakes anymore...."It's been like a week since we talked about chicken cakes. Where mah girls at?

agk0125 · September 2009

I responded the way I did because I found the tone of the original post a bit odd and off putting to be honest. Not the wanting to get him something part, that's cute when taken on it's own, just the progressive part. Like if you didn't share the rigors of life then you wouldn't feel obligated to get him a present?And I meant what I said about wedding planning. It takes a lot of effort and your "all about the fair" FI won't want anything to do with the mass majority of it. I wasn't being mean or obnoxious, I was being honest.

jeanacorina · September 2009

Probably true, my FI is more interested in our wedding plans than most guys, and he's still not THAT interested. I show him something and he says "Yeah, that's nice" or "No, that's weird."That's about it. Unless he comes up with something all on his own that he's so proud of that he just HAS to share and brings up wedding talk himself instead of waiting for me to bring it up.That happened once so far. I count myself lucky.

blackfire5th · September 2009

I do have to agree with agk, you don't sound all that progressive, you sound normal. It also sounds like you have a very healthy realtionship, so yeah! It's a bummer that most of your friends aren't as equal in their relationships. It always makes you wonder why the divorce rate is now around 57%. Something has to be causing all the divorces.

oceana919 · September 2009

A watch would be a great idea, or perhaps some nice cufflinks he can wear on your wedding day?As for us, we've talked about taking a nice little weekend getaway together after we get engaged, to celebrate together. You could always do something like that, but surprise him with some aspect of the trip - like renting a vintage car he's always loved to drive around, or taking him to eat at a favorite restaurant. That's another idea to think about.

AnneAndJJ · September 2009

I find it surprising that you never came across any other threads that contained negative responses. I would say that over half of every thread posted on this board receives as least some negative attention. Of course, when you're not the OP, negative comments don't always seem so bad. Ok, there's my 2 cents about the internet and negative people. It is surprising how much bitterness a wedding board can attract, but whatever, at the end of the day, it's the internet. I've never lost sleep over it. Just laugh.And, I think it's nice you want to get your BF an engagement gift. A watch seems logical to me. I like oceana's idea of a weekend getaway together though. It's something you can both enjoy. Maybe chip in to get something extra special for him though. I doubt most men would want an e-ring. A lot of men don't even like wearing any jewelery, but that is something only you and he can figure out together.

eleven29 · September 2009

I decided I'd get my then-BF (now FI) a gift when he proposed as well. I felt like, ok he's spending this money on a ring, I may as well get him some kinda happy man-present that he can have to remember the occasion!My pick was simple: a PS3. The man has been begging for one for months, and I've been saying no forever (he already has a PS2 that I bought for him 5 years ago that he barely plays!) but I decided to surprise him with one anyway. So I bought it a few months ago knowing he was going to propose soon, and I gave it to him this past week after he proposed last weekend. He was really surprised and loves that I was thoughtful enough to get him something in return!

Engagement ring/gift for him

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