bridesmaids

SHAWNEE31 · September 2009

I have four bridesmaids slots ( for lack of better word) One (Sarah) dropped out because she is pregnant and due on my wedding day. She started to be whinny so I was quite happy. So Tina asked to be my BM and said she was offended that I did not ask her before I asked Sarah, because I coordinated , planned and did so much for her wedding. I thought because she was having money troubles ( her husband not working, new house, new baby) and she has not been around much she would not want to be a BM. Out of frustration I said fine be a BM, I regretted saying yes. A week later she tells me she does not like my FI and thinks our relationship is “fake”. My responce wasI said oh since you think our relationship is fake and Sarah’s BF is not driving and Sarah has no mom why don’t you drop out of being a BM and be there for Sarah and her pregnancy. Tina said well Sarah is not going to have the baby on her due date that never happens and if she does I will just leave your wedding early. My thing is if you do not like my FI and you can not really be there for me then don’t. Since I do not have help from my mom I really need my BM. I do not know why but I have a friend who has been supported loves my FI and I should of asked her first but I did not Tina could be replaced and / or I do not mind having an odd number of BM to GM/ I just do not want someone who does not support my relationship to be a BM. Any advice.

OFF · September 2009

Tell this "friend" that since she is not supportive of your relationship you do not feel it's appropriate for her to be a bridesmaid. Personally if someone told me they didn't like my FI and thought my relationship was fake after I slapped her I would tell her our friendship such that it is is through and don't bother showing up at my wedding. You cannot have someone who disrespects you and your FI and your entire relationship stand behind you, because she might have a knife waiting to drive into your back. Kick her out now before you regret it down the road. Better to have someone who has your back than someone who will stab it.

mandikaykay · September 2009

Beautifully said OFF! Yes, let her go immediately. Tell her that having her be a part of the wedding would be the only fake thing about the whole event. If she does not support you and FI, then you will not need her services. What is she doing? Just trying to be seen somewhere? Tell her silly behind to go sit down somewhere, just not as a guest at your wedding since she objects to the union and all.

MrClintonsFirstLady09 · September 2009

I am sorry you are going thru all of this. As we on this board have said so many times, weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people and I never understood that. What is also mind boggling to me is why would she have the audacity to share with you her personal feelings of your FI and why would she have accepted the role of being your BM if she thought your relationship with FI was not real? What type of female is she? Do you think she may be jealous? I cannot fathom her reason for this at all. One minute she hot as fish grease (as Alf could say) because you did not ask her but then when you give her the greenlight to be a BM, she brings nothing but negativity? Girl bye! You have better things to worry about then this petty mess. Either replace her or just have an odd number and K.I.M. You have enough to think about rather than deal with the pettiness of this situation. Some women can be so petty sometimes. Uggggghhh I hate negative folks! I hope everything works out for you and don't sweat this foolishness. She is not your friend honestly and she is irrelevant at this moment. JMHO

milana1023 · September 2009

OFF and Kaykay said all that needs to be said. She can kick rocks.

pinkpanther_truck · September 2009

The pp's are on point with their advice! Whew. I helped with a wedding for a friend whose FI (and now DH) I really didn't care for. I wasn't a BM, rather I was a pseudo DOC since she didn't hire a planner. So, I made sure the day went off without a hitch... I had my opinions, but out of respect for our friendship and her happiness, kept my mouth shut... and kept a smile on my face. Yes, it can be done! Obviously, your friend doesn't want to put forth the effort to do it... so give her two options: Step down or get knocked down. (Ya feel me?)

ddyoung · September 2009

If she's already acting like this imagine what she's going to be like when it really comes down to the wire. Go ahead and let that go before you are in too deep. and SHE asked YOU to be your bridesmaid?? Ummmm it's your wedding right??Just let her know you don't feel comfortable with a bridesmaid that doesnt support the BRIDE...you really don't even have to tell her that much. just tell her you no longer need her services. you don't owe her an explanation. GL

Panda16 · September 2009

I think she just asked to be in your WP because she probably thought you had no choice but to say yes. And that's probably why she's coming outta her a** now. You may have done so much for her day but that's not to say she'll do the same for you. If she can't support you, especially if she practically TELLING you that, I say drop her!

KimRhone · September 2009

If she doesn't support your relationship then she shouldn't be in your wedding party. You need to surround yourself with positive people. You should not be stressed about your bridesmaids. If you tell her that you don't want her in your wedding then she probably will not want to be your friend anymore so if you can live with that then just let her go all together. You shouldn't have to deal with someone else's bs

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