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Wedding Etiquette Forum
When does the bride cross the line?
Hello All...
My fiance and I are getting married next year. We have been invited to be apart of two weddings this year- one of which is my cousin's wedding, the other is my fiance's friend. We are extremely excited and honored to be apart of both of their weddings however; my cousin is making this experience a terrible one.
Just a little background information:
1)She lives approximately 10 hours away from me and the other bridesmaids(with the exception of one who lives in the same state as her).
2)She chose expensive unappealing bridesmaids dresses (which the bridesmaids are responsible for the costs and alterations of the dresses; we are also responsible for mailing the dresses back to her-because she is afraid we will forget the dress) IN ADDITION, we just received the dresses 1wk ago, the wedding is next week and we are responsible for alterations.
3)We were first told that she will be responsible for jewelry and she just informed us that she can not spend $20 for each bridesmaids (6 of us) jewelry so we have two weeks to purchase jewelry that is not to short, not to long, not to wide, no pearls, not to small...
4)She got mad at one of the bridesmaids who reside in the same state with her because the bridesmaid did not want to drive her around to complete her errands. She told the bridesmaid "I'm the bride you are the maid, you need to take me around."
5)She chose a straight-hair-do for the bridesmaids because she is wearing a curly hair-style and she does not want any of the bridesmaids "looking cutier" than her.
***My question is how far is to far? When does the bride cross the line?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: When does the bride cross the line?
IMO, she crossed several lines
[QUOTE]Hello All... My fiance and I are getting married next year. We have been invited to be apart of two weddings this year- one of which is my cousin's wedding, the other is my fiance's friend. We are extremely excited and honored to be apart of both of their weddings however; my cousin is making this experience a terrible one. Just a little background information: 1)She lives approximately 10 hours away from me and the other bridesmaids(with the exception of one who lives in the same state as her). 2)She chose expensive unappealing bridesmaids dresses (which the bridesmaids are responsible for the costs and alterations of the dresses<strong>; we are also responsible for mailing the dresses back to her-because she is afraid we will forget the dress) </strong>IN ADDITION, we just received the dresses 1wk ago, the wedding is next week and we are responsible for alterations. 3)We were first told that she will be responsible for jewelry and she just informed us that she can not spend $20 for each bridesmaids (6 of us) jewelry so we have two weeks to purchase jewelry that is not to short, not to long, not to wide, no pearls, not to small... 4)She got mad at one of the bridesmaids who reside in the same state with her because the bridesmaid did not want to drive her around to complete her errands. She told the bridesmaid <strong>"I'm the bride you are the maid, you need to take me around." </strong>5)S<strong>he chose a straight-hair-do for the bridesmaids because she is wearing a curly hair-style and she does not want any of the bridesmaids "looking cutier" than her.</strong> ***My question is how far is to far? When does the bride cross the line?
Posted by darkoa1[/QUOTE]
<div>At all these points. </div><div>
</div><div>Honestly, I would just wear no jewelry. If the dress is that bad, no one is going to notice jewelry.</div>
[QUOTE]Hello All... My fiance and I are getting married next year. We have been invited to be apart of two weddings this year- one of which is my cousin's wedding, the other is my fiance's friend. We are extremely excited and honored to be apart of both of their weddings however; my cousin is making this experience a terrible one. Just a little background information: 1)She lives approximately 10 hours away from me and the other bridesmaids(with the exception of one who lives in the same state as her). 2)She chose expensive unappealing bridesmaids dresses (which the bridesmaids are responsible for the costs and alterations of the dresses; we are also responsible for mailing the dresses back to her-because she is afraid we will forget the dress) IN ADDITION, we just received the dresses 1wk ago, the wedding is next week and we are responsible for alterations. 3)We were first told that she will be responsible for jewelry and she just informed us that she can not spend $20 for each bridesmaids (6 of us) jewelry so we have two weeks to purchase jewelry that is not to short, not to long, not to wide, no pearls, not to small... 4)She got mad at one of the bridesmaids who reside in the same state with her because the bridesmaid did not want to drive her around to complete her errands. She told the bridesmaid <strong>"I'm the bride you are the maid, you need to take me around." </strong>5)She chose a straight-hair-do for the bridesmaids because she is wearing a curly hair-style and she does not want any of the bridesmaids "looking cutier" than her. ***My question is how far is to far? When does the bride cross the line?
Posted by darkoa1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wow. My mouth hit the floor when I read this part.</div><div>
</div><div>Your cousin crossed many, many lines.
</div>
[QUOTE]I would have so much respect for the in-state BM if she showed up to the rehearsal dinner in a French maid costume from Halloween or something and said "What? You said I'm a maid. You didn't say bridesmaid ."
Posted by meep2[/QUOTE]
<div>YES.</div>
The line was crossed so long ago, it's not even visible anymore.
I haz a planning bio
[QUOTE]Hello All... My fiance and I are getting married next year. We have been invited to be apart of two weddings this year- one of which is my cousin's wedding, the other is my fiance's friend. We are extremely excited and honored to be apart of both of their weddings however; my cousin is making this experience a terrible one. Just a little background information: 1)She lives approximately 10 hours away from me and the other bridesmaids(with the exception of one who lives in the same state as her). 2)She chose expensive unappealing bridesmaids dresses (which the bridesmaids are responsible for the costs and alterations of the dresses; we are also responsible for mailing the dresses back to her-because she is afraid we will forget the dress) IN ADDITION, we just received the dresses 1wk ago, the wedding is next week and we are responsible for alterations. 3)We were first told that she will be responsible for jewelry and she just informed us that she can not spend $20 for each bridesmaids (6 of us) jewelry so we have two weeks to purchase jewelry that is not to short, not to long, not to wide, no pearls, not to small...<strong> 4)She got mad at one of the bridesmaids who reside in the same state with her because the bridesmaid did not want to drive her around to complete her errands. She told the bridesmaid "I'm the bride you are the maid, you need to take me around." </strong>5)She chose a straight-hair-do for the bridesmaids because she is wearing a curly hair-style and she does not want any of the bridesmaids "looking cutier" than her. ***My question is how far is to far? When does the bride cross the line?
Posted by darkoa1[/QUOTE]
i'd slap her in the face.
im in a wedding in october and i thought SHE was bad...wowww
I second the BM showing up in a french maid's costume. She would win for sure!
[QUOTE]perhaps recommend that she come to the etiquette board to vent about how terrible her BMs are to her. :)
Posted by slwager[/QUOTE]
<div>Just a little FYI the bride actually told me (not the other bridesmaid) "that she is the maid not the bride and that it is her duty to to act as the maid and cater to her." I believe that as brides we have to be mindful of our "maids" and we should not treat them as such just because of the historic name. One can ultimately ruin their day but moreover loose alot of relationships due to such behavior and attitude.</div><div>
</div><div> slwager, I have a question for you: How would you respond if you were placed in a situation like this?</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When does the bride cross the line? : Just a little FYI the bride actually told me (not the other bridesmaid) "that she is the maid not the bride and that it is her duty to to act as the maid and cater to her." I believe that as brides we have to be mindful of our "maids" and <strong>we should not treat them as such just because of the historic name</strong>. One can ultimately ruin their day but moreover loose alot of relationships due to such behavior and attitude. slwager, I have a question for you: How would you respond if you were placed in a situation like this?
Posted by darkoa1[/QUOTE]
<div>It really refers to "maiden" as in an unmarried woman more than a maid in the sense of service. Brides get that twisted alllll the time. Even though many BMs are married, the name stuck anyway, except of course for matron of honor. I have never heard of bride matrons though. </div>
Bloggy Mel.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When does the bride cross the line? : Just a little FYI the bride actually told me (not the other bridesmaid) "that she is the maid not the bride and that it is her duty to to act as the maid and cater to her." I believe that as brides we have to be mindful of our "maids" and we should not treat them as such just because of the historic name. One can ultimately ruin their day but moreover loose alot of relationships due to such behavior and attitude. <strong>slwager, I have a question for you: How would you respond if you were placed in a situation like this?
</strong>Posted by darkoa1[/QUOTE]
I love you and that's why i agreed to be in your wedding party. I expected to buy a dress based on a budget which we discussed. as much as i care about you your demands are unreasonable and i'm not comfortable with them. please reconsider a, b, & c.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When does the bride cross the line? : I love you and that's why i agreed to be in your wedding party. I expected to buy a dress based on a budget which we discussed. as much as i care about you your demands are unreasonable and i'm not comfortable with them. please reconsider a, b, & c.
Posted by slwager[/QUOTE]
<div>I love your response! However, she never discussed a budget with the bridesmaids...since it is her wedding, she chose the dresses without consulting the costs with us. I'm more curious to know how you would deal with the other issues i.e being called a maid and being expected to act as such, ect. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-sealed.gif" border="0" alt="Sealed" title="Sealed" /></div>
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When does the bride cross the line? : I love your response! However, <strong>she never discussed a budget with the bridesmaids...since it is her wedding, </strong>she chose the dresses without consulting the costs with us. I'm more curious to know how you would deal with the other issues i.e being called a maid and being expected to act as such, ect.
Posted by darkoa1[/QUOTE]
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</div><div>How delightful.</div>