Guest attire

kcalpin · September 2009

My F and I are planning a formal reception after our wedding. He has a female friends whose taste in clothing is...well, skanky. The last wedding we went to, she was in a dress with a halter that came down to almost her belly button and the bottom was extremely short (you could see her lovely pink underwear...that at least she was wearing). My family is pretty conservative and I think it would make it uncomfortable for them (and myself) if she were to wear something similar.Would it be inappropriate for me to put on our wedding site something along the lines of: "We would really like our wedding to be a formal event, so please dress appropriately. There will be young children and members of the clergy there, so if you wouldn't wear it in a church, please don't wear it here.

"Or should I just put my MOH in charge and tell the photographers not to take pics of her?Thanks!

tidetravel · September 2009

Yes, it is inappropriate. Unless they are in your WP, you cannot dictate what adults wear.

Night_Sprite · September 2009

If she wears slutty clothes and you don't know her well enough to tell her to keep her boobs in a dress and her underwear underneath clothing, then maybe she shouldn't be invited. Either that or you need to man up, but do it outside of the wedding website.

[Deleted User] · September 2009

If you trust them to be guests at you wedding, then you should trust them to dress appropriately. Don't put that on your website.

sarah0725 · September 2009

Not only is it inappropriate, but I doubt it will be effective. Your skanky friend probably wouldn't even realize you are talking about her.

SparrowSong · September 2009

If she wants to dress like a fool, that's her problem, not yours. It would be completely inappropriate to put a statement like that out for your guests. The guest in mind probably wouldn't hear it, and the other guests would be offended that you said such a thing to them.

veronabrit · September 2009

if she dresses like that, she will look like a fool. You can't put a memo hoping one person specifically will see it. Warn your photog and call it a day, and don''t let things like this upset you.

sucrets4 · September 2009

Yes, inappropriate on the website or anywhere. If her presence and attire will ruin your wedding, then don't invite her.What does your FI think?

kcalpin · September 2009

He agrees that her taste in clothing is inappropriate. But she's also a friend of his. I don't know her well enough to pull her aside for some "girl talk", but I'm not going to punish F by saying he can't invite her. So, I guess I keep my mouth closed and just hope for the best!Thanks everyone!

lyndausvi · September 2009

Just leave it alone. She might not you are even talking about her anyway. As far as the photgrapher, I guess what you want. but I do not see the big deal. I doubt she/he will be snapping a ton of one guests anyway. Plus you do not have to buy those pictures anyway. I received 1500 pictures for a 40 page album.

Jenny&GregFan · September 2009

Your wedding is almost 2 years away. It's entirely possible that her tast in clothing will mature by then, so I wouldn't worry about it now.

megk8oz · September 2009

I'm agreeing with the PPs, you can't tell her what to wear ... and I also agree that if you DID put that on your website that a) she probably wouldn't be paying much attention to a disclaimer like that anyway or b) she probably wouldn't think you were referring to her.The only people you can control the wardrobes of are the BP, after that, it really is in the hands of the individual. If she shows up looking like a fool, then that is something that SHE has to live with, not you.Besides, every wedding has that ONE person that does SOMETHING or other that isn't "ideal": the friend in the skanky outfit, the uncle that gets too drunk and hits on everybody, the cousin that manages to start a fight w/the maitre di over nothing ... mishaps happen, you can't control them, you can just control the level of grace and composure you handle them with.

shawna77inil · September 2009

I have posted about it before, but here is the shorter version of the story. My cousin got married last year. My uncle's wife, who truly believes that she looks like Shania Twain (trust me when I tell you that she is delusional) wore a royal blue sequinned dress. It laced up the back. It was very low cut. It draped to the floor in the back but was cut VERY high in the front. Thank goodness she was wearing panties, which we could all tell. You could also see the top of her thigh high fishnet stockings. To finish the outfit, she wore clear acrylic stiletto heels. I saw my cousin and his wife just last weekend, and she said that she STILL gets asked, "So, how's the lady in the blue dress?" She took it with a grain of salt and just shook her head. You can't let someone else not realizing that they look a fool ruin your night. Just smile and know that you, too, will have a funny story after the reception is over.

Guest attire

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