Bachelorette costs?

LMGreene85 · September 2009

Just wanted to get an idea...what was the average cost per person for your bachelorette parties? I am thinking of a spa day, dinner, open bar and a hotel in NYC which is coming to less than $300 per girl and I am getting complaints already... Is that a lot? I know I've spent close to $500 on other bachelorette parties so I thought I was being reasonable with keeping it in the 2's.... What do you girls think is reasonable to spend?

erikag23 · September 2009

i honestly don't think you can get a spa day, dinner, open bar, and a room in nyc for 300. i think anywhere from 150-300 is fair unless it is destination and obviously that would be a lot more. you can't expect people to sepnd a certain amount~ everyones financail situation is different. and maybe peopel would much rather spend their 300-500 on something else instead of just one night in the city.

mbcdefg · September 2009

I'd spend up to $200 or $300 for a very good friend, and that's only about maybe three people I know. For anyone else, yeah, I think it's really too much money. Is this for your bachelorette? Who's the hostess?

ddelo23 · September 2009

my girls probably spent about 150 (moh probably spent a little bit more than that). I think 300 is on the high side, but it depends on people's financial situation, closeness to you, and if they're really excited to do whatever you guys are doing. I personally wouldn't wanna spend 300 on a spa day, but i'm not the pampering type.

LMGreene85 · September 2009

You can get it for under 3 bc I already priced it and called places to verify.

uppereastgirl · September 2009

Totally depends on your girls and what they can swing. I've definitely spent over a thousand on bachelorette parties (destination ones, so that includes my travel costs, and I'm not complaining because they were great trips!) One of my best friends' bachelorettes was an overnight to Princeton and I think when all was said and done there I paid over $700 (spa, hotel, dinner, lingerie as a gift (that was delegated to me), drinks that night, breakfast the next morning, gas, tolls... it can really add up even if the plan isn't super ambitious).How is a spa day, dinner, open bar and hotel (all in NYC I would assume) coming to less than $300? That sounds very low to me so I'd make sure it really is the total if girls are balking at $300.Also, are you planning your own bachelorette party, or is this for someone else?

erikag23 · September 2009

i guess it is just a mtter of where you are going and staying. another question, why are you planning your own bparty?

LMGreene85 · September 2009

And also to clarify, by people I mean the BMs...if other friends cant spend it I understand...but the BMs I expect more from.

LMGreene85 · September 2009

because my MOH is underage to even be going out and no one else has stepped up to help her or do it themselves...

teamAandE · September 2009

$200-300 if we aren't going away and if it's a close friend. Why don't you guys order dinner in to the hotel to minimize costs?

mbcdefg · September 2009

Honestly, I'd be pissed off if the bride planned her own party and then expected me to fork over $300. Maybe that's why they're balking.

I <3 Seabass · September 2009

I think it really depends on your crowd, what you want to do and where you are having it. Plus if you're planning your own b-party and assuming that you're not going to be paying for any of this I def understand why your getting complaints. It would be one thing if someone that is going to be putting in an equal share of the costs suggests spending $300. But if someone that isn't paying asks me to shell out $300 just because that's what she wants to do, well then the situation is a little different.

teamAandE · September 2009

People complain about EVERYTHING! I had a bridesmaid complain about chipping in $40 for a limo and had me in tears the day before the bparty. I ended up spending A LOT of $$ on my own bparty to alleviate the costs for others.

uppereastgirl · September 2009

I don't think you should "expect" things from your bridesmaids though, particularly if you're planning your own bachelorettes? Some people can afford to spend tens of thousands on their friends' bachelorette parties, while others can afford to spend tens of dollars on the bachelorettes. If they aren't comfortable with it, you can't expect them to default on their credit cards or take out loans or not pay rent to go to your bachelorette party. Maybe give them the option that they can go to the spa or not, so they can cut costs if they want?

USER876 · September 2009

FI's was only about 50-100 each for dinner and drinks and a lot of them were b**tching.

caketime · September 2009

Are you expecting your underage sister to shell out that kind of money when she presumably would not be able to take part in the open bar?Also to expect more from your BM's is rude/nasty/obnoxious! I would not want to spend $300 on a bparty unless you were a really, really good friend and it was going away somewhere. I can go to the city any time I want so that is also probably why they are balking.

mbcdefg · September 2009

And if nobody is truly "stepping up" to plan you a bachelorette (although you're not owed a bachelorette, so that's why it's rude to plan your own - because it's supposed to be a GIFT to you), then I'd take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself why nobody wanted to plan you one. Either your friends have always been sort of selfish and you're just realizing it now (in which case you just need to accept that that's the way they are and they're not changing just for your wedding) ... or you have done something to piss them off somewhere along the line and they're in no mood right now to throw you a party. And with the "I expect more from them" line ... then, yeah, I can see why they'd be angry with you if that's your attitude toward them.

ddelo23 · September 2009

what if you ditch the spa idea....and just do the dinner, drinks, and hotel? maybe do site seeing/walking around/bullshitting or....extra drinking during the day at your hotel...

mbcdefg · September 2009

Since when are friendships a tit-for-tat deal? Again, it sounds like either they're selfish people and you were always the one to put more into the relationship ... or they don't feel like you deserve a party. Maybe they're pissed off that you're measuring your relationship with them in terms of how much money you've spent on them.

USER876 · September 2009

I think someone should poll people as to what their budget is, and get ideas and then agree on something. You are pretty much stuck with what the decision isWhy is this so much easier for guys?-------------------------------------------------------------"Frank, Tom, Scott, Mike, John, etc....do you want to go to Philly for a batch. party?"" Sure, what are we doing and what will it cost?""mmm...not sure, we will figure it out when we get there""....ok...no problem.."DONE!!!!

uppereastgirl · September 2009

When you say you spent more for their weddings, do you mean for the bachelorette parties? Because you don't know what they're giving you as gifts yet, or what they're spending on your shower, etc.Again, you probably shouldn't even be planning this thing, and if they aren't comfortable they aren't comfortable. They may be in different financial situations from you (which may not be apparent) or they may have different financial priorities. You can't expect them to pay exactly the same amount that you paid.Can you please give us the rundown of how what you're doing will cost $300? I really have a feeling that you'll go over. That may also be a concern of theirs.

LMGreene85 · September 2009

No I spent more on their bachelorrette parties alone...Run down =$125 spa package ... $35 pre set dinner menu ... $30 open bar...and hotel depends on girls staying over but anywhere from $50 to $75

I <3 Seabass · September 2009

Even if you are paying I would still have a problem with someone dictating to me what they want to do and how much they want me to spend. Before you planned this super cheap b-party you probably should have asked them what they wanted to do and what they wanted to spend.

teamAandE · September 2009

USER that's the diff btwn guys and girls. DH had no problem getting everyone to go to Vegas and I had girls bitchin_ over $40 limos!Guys see the bparty as fun for them too, girls see it as something they are doing for someone else and don't notice that they too are going to enjoy themselves.

LMGreene85 · September 2009

No one ever asked me what I wanted to do for someone else's bparty...shouldnt it be what the bride wants to do?And I am all for them choosing what parts they can and cant participate in...Just originally asked if that was too much money and what was a reasonable amt...But everyone jumps down my throat...

The_Future_Mrs_Rickels · September 2009

The problem I found is that the bachelorette party turns into a huge day event. Why do so many things? Why not go to the spa and have a sleepover at someones house to cut the cost. Or do dinner and drinks. Or do drinks or a club and a hotel room. All of it gets a little crazy in my opinion. And if they are your bridesmaids they cant really say no. They have to do it all and it adds up.

ddelo23 · September 2009

I definitely stick to my choice of nixing the whole spa thing. it'll save each girl 125...that's significant. Also, maybe you should send a mass e-mail out, and just say that you don't feel comfortable planning this, since you don't think it's fiar to them. and that you'd like to leave it in their hands, but you're weilling to chip in. see if they sing to a different tune then.

caketime · September 2009

Nix that spa...it's 125. I would not be happy with that.Also, how many girls is this? That's very cheap for a good hotel in the city.

teamAandE · September 2009

Run down =$125 spa package ... $35 pre set dinner menu ... $30 open bar...and hotel depends on girls staying over but anywhere from $50 to $75125+ gratuity and lunch?$35+ drinks at dinner, tax, gratuityhotel can be $75 and maybe breakfast the next daythis can easily go well over $300, plus they may want to get you a little gift (well prob not if you are dictating things to them...)

LMGreene85 · September 2009

ddelo23 thanks for your suggestions, they were helpful

mbcdefg · September 2009

Ditto Seabass ... if you insist on planning your own bachelorette party, then it would've been nice to talk to them BEFOREHAND about the costs. But if you want an honest opinion ... if someone was planning her own bachelorette, whether she's paying for herself or not, I might be inclined to balk at it on principle alone. I wouldn't mind if she said to grab some drinks and a casual dinner someplace, but I think that planning your own elaborate bachelorette with the spa and the hotel stay comes across as self-entitlement. Because like I said, you're not owed a bachelorette and if you get one it's supposed to be given TO you, not BY you. I can appreciate being bummed that nobody's throwing you one, but that's the point where I would personally ask myself, "Well, WHY is nobody throwing me one? What did I do to make them not want to do something nice for me?" Either that, or you have to consider the option that maybe you didn't get one because they don't have the finances to throw you one. Or maybe they were planning to throw you one closer to the wedding and are now pissed that you've taken matters into your own hands because they didn't move fast enough for your liking. I think you have a bigger concern here than them not liking the price tag of what you have planned.

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