Wedding Etiquette Forum

WR: WWYD?

A little background: FI, MOST of our friends, all my siblings, his siblings, and I all went to UCF for college.  My ENTIRE family is from Miami.Since I'm awesome (insert sarcasm font), the UCF/UM college football game is on the night of the wedding.  It wasn't intentional, the game was originally on a different day and the church also happened to change my date.The venue confirmed they have cable and there are multiple tv's in the room and in adjoining rooms.The game starts at 7:30, the reception is over at 9!DO I:a) turn on one tv to the game?b) pretend the tv's don't work and let people check their phones for scores and updates?One part of me wants to turn the game on.  The other part of me thinks it's better not to.WWYD?
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Re: WR: WWYD?

  • I wouldn't. They'll still be able to catch part of the game and you don't want your wedding to turn into one big football party. I'm a huge football fan so I get where you're coming from...but they'll just have to deal with it.
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  • This is the exact reason I waited until Penn State's season was over. I've heard of the DJ giving score updates at weddings. I think that's a lot better than tvs, because then no one will dance or anything. Also, I know that several of my friends have earpieces to listen to the radio inconspicuously. We used to do this when we had to do march parade or something while there was an away game.
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  • b) pretend the tv's don't work and let people check their phones for scores and updates?My wedding is on the same day as an important game for my family's team also.  They can suck it up for one day dammit.  You don't want your wedding to turn into a screaming football match.  No way.
  • I would be all about turning the game on... but that is me.  I think you honestly have to ask yourself if you will be happy if everyone is glued to the TV and not dancing, etc.  But chances are if they are that die-hard of fans, they are not going to have their heads in the game anyways...
  • THis happened at a wedding I went to. Unfortunately, most people went for an hour for the free booze and then left to watch the game somewhere else.So, I don't know the answer, but I would determine whether or not this would be a make it or break it for your guests if they didn't get to watch the game. Personally, I think people should be mature enough to skip one game, shake their tailfeathers, DVR it, and then get together at 9 and watch it all together after the reception is over and ignore all TV so they don't know the outcome. That would be an awesome after party.
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  • Ooh.  Fischey has a great idea there!  After party would be awesome!
  • I'd play it by ear.  If people see that there are TVs, they might ask to have them turned on.  If they don't care that much, they'll just suck it up.  I feel your pain.  App State's homecoming was the same day as my wedding and it was only an hour away.  Some people left early to go to the game.  A friend of mine who is an NC State alum got married when NC State and UNC played each other.  I think if one more person commented on it, she would have gone bridezilla on them. 
  • All good points. Notgonnalie - Robert and I are getting the hell outta there at 9 sharp to head to the hotel. I'll def. let my siblings know about the after-party idea - that's great!
  • I think if one more person commented on it, she would have gone bridezilla on them.This. Times A BILLION.It amazes me that people have the balls to tell me I'm rude for having my wedding the same day as an effing football game.  Really? I'm rude?
  • I wouldn't.  They can always go catch the second half or last quarter of the game after your reception is over.
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  • Oh yeah, you could just leave them off and see if anyone even comments.  Maybe they won't and then no problem, but if they do ask or if people come to say goodbye to you so they can go watch the game (assholes), you can turn a tv on so they stay.  People are jerks.
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  • That may be a problem i would say turn the tvs in the other room. Fi and I went to a wedding in Columbus. The groom most of their friends and family went to OSU and a game was on that day and almost all of the guest left after dinner.  So if you do not have the tvs on people may actually leave to watch but if you have the game on in the reception room they may turn the volume up and youll hear the game over the music.  Good Luck.
  • I'd say turn on the tv, but that's just me being a big college football fan. I'd probably rather be watching the game too. My sister got married during March Madness several years ago and they turned the tv in the bar to the game. Most people just left briefly to check the scores and came right back.
  • My friend got married the night of a big Red Sox game.  As you probably know in MA, we are a little sensitive to baseball.  They had it on in another room and I would say a solid 20 people were watching the game.  I felt really bad for the bride.  No one danced because everyone was filing in and out of that room.  If it's important to you, go for it, but expect people to get really into the game vs. your wedding.
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  • I have to disagree about putting it on in another room.  If you have it on, put it on in the main room of your reception, otherwise half of your guests will be in the other room watching tv.  If it's on in the main reception hall, they may be watching the game but at least they are physically in the room.
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  • One of the big reasons why I'm glad we booked our wedding for November instead of October.  My FI and I, and almost everyone we know, are die-hard Red Sox fans.  If the Sox went to the Series next year, I don't think either of us would have the heart not to turn on the TV.  At the same time...I don't really want our wedding reception turning into a beer and chips party while the guys get blasted and watch the game.I'd say leave it off.  It'll already be about half-over when your reception starts, which means that unless it's an extremely tight game, the outcome may already be evident by that point.  Plus, the football game will happen again next year, and the year after that.  You two only get one wedding.
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  • As i read more of the post I think everybody has a point and i don't want to be a downer but I think people are going to leave or not participate in the fun not matter which way you do it.  I am guessing you can't change the day or anything.  but i think people will either leave altogether, watch in another room and not stay in the reception room, or group around the tv in the reception and not participate in the fun.
  • Fische's DVR and afterparty idea is awesome.  If it were me in your position, that's what I would do.
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  • I would definately NOT have the TVs on at your wedding reception, I agree with Fische, record it and have an after party where you show it.If you tell people this is what you are doing they won't then be checking their phones for results every five minutes either because they won't want to know the score before they watch the game.
  • If they are fans turn on the game. My sisters wedding was in texas on the day of the ut texas tech game. All of the grooms side family and friends left right after cake cutting in order to go watch the game. So as soon as dinner was over it was just brides family left( even bils immediate family left even the groomemen and best man and the maid of honor who was a friend of sisters) Now admitedly my family had a great time and partied but a tv with the game on may have kept folks there and I know it hurt my sisters feeling badly that everyone except her family left.
  • Really, with the game starting at 7:30 and the reception ending at 9, I don't see anyone leaving... IF I do, it would be one small tv, volume OFF, over the bar (it's wall mounted).I really like the after-party idea, but Robert and I are going to the airport (to stay at the hotel) right after the reception.
  • No chance in hell I would ever turn on a football game at my wedding. I could never imagine being more interested in a football game than a wedding though.
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  • I feel you Alexia.  A lot of my local guests left my wedding pretty early and I couldn't figure out why.  Until I realized it was the night of one of the Magic play-off games.  So, probably whatever you do, you're going to have people leaving early.  However, I do really like the DVR/after party idea and maybe that would help!
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  • I'm from Nebraska, where football is like air to us. The entire reason we picked our wedding date is that it's the bye-week for our team. Our family will not show up if there is a home game. We all have season tickets, and it's just not done. If, for whatever reason, I would have picked a game day, I would have sat up a lounge area at the reception with a tv, and some snacky type items. I don't have a fantastic idea for you though. If you're okay with people leaving early, then don't turn the game on. If you want them to stay in whatever capacity, then have a tv on. People are nuts about their football. I don't blame them. Even if we all think it's ridiculous, that doesn't make it any less true, so you have to figure out a way to deal with it.
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  • I also like the afterparty idea, but we had a TV on over the bar (wall mounted) with the Cardinals game on.  It wasn't an important game, so that might have made a difference, but all of the guys loved being able to go see the score while getting a drink.  No one that I know of just sat around the bar staring at the TV, but again it was just a normal baseball game.
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  • no, there should be no TV at a wedding.  if they think the game is more important, they can stay home.  they can use their iphones to check scores if necessary.  same thing happened to me with the rangers opener and a michigan game the night of my wedding. 
  • UF's Homecoming is on our wedding day and lots of family and friends, including FI are alumni, so I feel your pain. I would probably turn on one t.v. so guests done leave, but I feel like if watching a football game is more important to them, then they should leave!
  • Ditto Lynda, some football games are more important than Labor day around here.
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  • Oh yeah, you could just leave them off and see if anyone even comments.They will. You should see the rude things they say on her fb about it!Alexia, you have tons of different opinions about this. To throw mine into the mix, I am wondering what you and your friends normally do together for fun. Are you more likely to go out dancing or to watch games together? If the answer is football, then it may end up being a blast to have the tv's. Turning the tv's on around 8:00 could make a memorable and exciting end to your reception. I wouldn't suggest that if you hadn't admitted that the game is also important to you and your hubby.At my reception, there was a little tv in an area away from the main reception area. The Magic game was on, and people like my dad who don't enjoy social situations were able to walk over to the game from time to time to enjoy some basketball. I know it made it more fun for my dad and for our groomsman who is a Magic fanatic...and neither one of them was itching to leave my reception or complaining that they were someplace else! I know some brides would have been annoyed that the dad and gm were catching parts of the game now and then, but it made me smile that my venue was able to accommodate everybody's interests. Nobody used the tv as a crutch or stood beside it the whole time, but they could wander over to check the score.
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