Can I register to have my friends and family pay for my photography?

laurak7 · September 2009

I know that sometimes people register for honeymoons. Would it be going too far to register for wedding photography? I figure you have the pictures forever, so it's a worthwhile contribution. Plus, my finance and I already live together, so we don't need many things. I'm just not sure how I would set up the account with the photographer. Additionally, some of my family are more traditional and I'm afraid I would offend them. Any thoughts?

danieliza1127 · September 2009

I think that's really tacky. Have the wedding you can afford. Your guests shouldn't have to help you pay for your wedding.If you already know that some of your family may be offended, that should be your answer right there. Don't do it.

louisvillebride21 · September 2009

No. Pay for it yourself. Not as bad as a honeymoon registry, but still pretty bad.

Nebb · September 2009

No. Pay for your own freaking photographer.

ac_in_dc · September 2009

HM registries are usually frowned on here. So I'm imagining this would be too. Honestly, if a friend of mine did this (or asked for cash) I would find it in poor taste.

bbyckes · September 2009

You're kidding, right? Yes, completely offensive.

vallyhoo · September 2009

Lurk first, post second.

cdeshane · September 2009

I don't think I would feel right asking the guests to contribute to part of the wedding.

MsGamblingGirl · September 2009

I'm absolutely sick of hearing "my fiance and I live together and don't need anything" on these boards. Newsflash: most brides these days live with their fiances for years and already have pots and pans. We get it. Yes this is tacky, yes it would offend people. Surely there are some upgrades you can make. My family is also traditional and if I didn't register for china and nice sheets they would have had a hissy fit. Maybe you can just casually share with your parents or grandparents or those VERY close to you that you need help paying for photography and would love that as a wedding gift.

sarabellam · September 2009

You can, but it would be utterly tasteless for you to do so.

sarabellam · September 2009

How long do you think this post will remain? I'm predicting no more than 15 posts before a DD.

georgia_bride09 · September 2009

You might as well just have them all pay for their own dinner at YOUR party.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

I agree, I don't think that HM registries are nearly as tacky as this. My family is pretty non-traditional and even they would be not happy at the idea of paying for our pictures.

sucrets4 · September 2009

I think you should pay for your photog (they are YOUR photo, after all), but you could put an insert in the invite to let people know exactly how much their food costs. Oh! Or just charge admission to your wedding! This way, no one has to worry about bringing a pesky gift, and you don't have to pay for anything!I'm so smrt.

TheSaltyPeanut · September 2009

This is a joke... right? Please tell me you are not real.

aerinpegadrak · September 2009

I don't get these either, especially since Amazon has wedding registries now. That's where we're registered. Honestly, there is nothing being sold anywhere in the wide interwebs that you would like to have? I mean, hell, we've got a deep fryer, kooky ice cube trays, a fancy coin sorter, and a crapton of DVDs on ours, and we're just warming up. Nothing says you have to register for the standard stuff.Asking your guests to pay to send you on vacation is bad enough. Asking them to pay for the wedding itself is pretty appalling.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

I'm sorry, but I don't understand how asking your guests to pay for your DVDs or to spend their money on some random item like ice trays that you really aren't going to use but just think look cool is any worse than asking them to buy you a scuba lesson on your HM. I'm just saying. Creating a registry just to have one is a waste of your guests' money. Don't put random stuff on there that you think looks cool but you know damn well you won't use more than twice. I'd be pissed if I was a guest and spent money on something like that. You'd be better off just not having a registry at all.

aerinpegadrak · September 2009

Actually, we will use all that stuff. We have an extensive DVD library that we watch regularly, and the ice cube trays would replace our boring standard ones and get used daily. Way to assume you know all about a stranger's lifestyle, though.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

Way to assume you know all about a stranger's lifestyle, though.I still don't see how you think it's okay to rip on people for asking folks to send them swimming with the dolphins, but think its okay to ask people to buy you DVDs. Either way you're asking your guests to get you stuff you really don't need but find enteainment through.

[Deleted User] · September 2009

This is a really bad idea. You will piss a lot of people off.

aerinpegadrak · September 2009

The point of a registry is so that guests can provide you something tangible that they know you'll want and enjoy. My main problem with the honeymoon registries (aside from the fact that most of the companies running them are quite sketchy and the couple doesn't get the entire amount) is that it's not something tangible, and for a lot of people, that's important in a gift. I know I'll enjoy the DVDs on the registry much more than the towels, sheets, and dishes that are on there.A registry doesn't "make" your guests buy anything. If they don't find anything on there they want to give the couple, they'll give cash or something random.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

Either way, I think yelling at people for having a honeymoon registry while you registered for random stuff that you don't really need just to have a place for your guests to spend their money is running into the hypocritical area. Either way, you're asking your guests to buy you stuff that you don't need, and that you don't or wouldn't want to spend the money to buy it yourself. If you don't need anything, don't make your guests spend money. Tell them that gifts aren't needed. If they still want to bring something, fine. But I think creating a registry just to have a registry is wasting your guests' money. It probably sounds mean and b*tchy and I apologize in advance if it pisses anyone off, but that's just the way I feel about it.

aerinpegadrak · September 2009

Oh, and besides, the DVDs are mainly for the shower anyway, or for the family who will use the registry to shop for Christmas gifts (read: most of them). We'll have people traveling from all over for it, and FI is the cook in the family, so a movie shower made a hell of a lot more sense than a standard kitchen shower. We'll probably take most of them off the registry once the shower's over.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

And I also think that the purpose of registries is to tell your guests what you would like for them to buy. If you want them to buy you something tangible for your wedding you don't need a registry for that, just let them pick their own sh*t out. You put it on a registry because you want it. You want them to buy it for you. Tangible or not, the purpose of a registry is to let people know what you want them to gift you with at the wedding.

aerinpegadrak · September 2009

How many people really "need" half the stuff that goes on registries? Especially since the conventional wisdom is to register for better versions of the stuff that you already have if you've already set up house. Usually if someone needs something that badly, they'll just go out and buy it themselves.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

Now, if the only reason that you HAVE the registry or register for a certain item is just to have something for people to buy, then that is one thing.Registering for a nifty mantle clock that you wouldn't spend your own money due to financial reasons but registering for it because you fall in love with it when you see it is totally different.But see, how is that different than registering for a scuba trip because you wouldn't spend your own money due to financial reasons on it but you love it? Or a down payment on a house? Either way you don't need it, you don't have the money for it, it isn't needed, but you want it and love it. I'm not against registries. I'm just against people who do the same thing as people are doing with honeymoon or down home payment registries, which is putting stuff on there that you don't want to spend the money on yourself, or you can't spend the money on yourself, but you still really want, and try to justify it by saying that because it's tangible it's somehow better. It really bothers me for some reason.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

And yeah, I'm also against people who just put stuff on registries just to have a registry. And that's what it sounds like some people tell folks to do when they say they don't need or want anything. "Well just put some stuff on a registry, find something you like and put it on there." Just don't have a registry then.

cdeshane · September 2009

Oh! Or just charge admission to your wedding!Awesome, I am going to use this in my siggy.

MsGamblingGirl · September 2009

Stage - Agree 100%. I don't mind buying people quirky ice cube trays, but I find financing their vacation or home purchase not OK. If you can't afford a house or vacation on your own, you don't get to have one, period. I also think helping a couple pay off credit card debt, or save fore retirement is ridiculous. I think asking for cash is incredibly rude, no matter how you word it. The idea of writing my friends a check is so crass. I don't care if they register for bean bags, or DVDs, or fun things - I'd always prefer to go that route.

NuggetBrain · September 2009

Like I said, I know some people won't agree with me. That's just the way I feel.

Can I register to have my friends and family pay for my photography?

Re: Can I register to have my friends and family pay for my photography?

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