MOH Survival Kit

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

We are just starting the planning process and my little sister will be my MOH and the only one standing up with me. I bought her a tote that says MOH and I want to fill it with stuff that might come in handy over the next year of planning. A few facts....I am 29, she is 17, she has never been in or to a wedding, I have only been to two very small weddings, never been in one. So we are both new to this whole wedding thing and don't have a clue what will be needed or what would come in handy. Since this is her first time in a wedding I wanted to make it extra special and also relieve some of the anxiety she might be having. As I have never been part of a wedding, I don't have a clue what to put in it, does anyone have any ideas or suggestions for me? Thanks for your help!

banana468 · September 2009

I'd feel your sister out before you put stuff in a tote. She may want to be the completely hands on do what she can MOH or the 'tell me where to buy the dress and where the wedding is' MOH.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2009

Really, nothing. She doesn't need anything to be a MOH. Especially over a year out. As a MOH, she's going to stand next to you at the ceremony, hold your boquet while you take your vows, and help you get dressed before hand. She might take on the responsibility of planning a shower and/or bachelorette party for you but honestly with her age, I would think that an older family member (aunt, SIL) would take that on. Just spend lots of time on the boards over the next several months and you'll get some ideas of when YOU need to be contacting your BP to order dresses and such.

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

She isn't going to be the hands on type MOH because we aren't doing any showers or bach parties, she just needs to show up at the wedding. I am taking care of all the rest. As for her dress, she is excited to get it and wants it right away, even though I don't plan on buying mine for a few months. I gave her the go ahead to buy whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Its a very small wedding and I'm not picky, as long as she is happy with what she is wearing. I just thought it would be a nice gesture to give her something before hand, and yes I know its a year in advance but we actually have almost everthing done even though we just started the planning process two weeks ago. As for gifts, we probably won't be doing actual wedding party gifts, in our family we don't do gifts for xmas, birthdays, etc so this is just something I wanted to get her. I saw the bag and knew she would like it but I don't want to give it to her empty.

megk8oz · September 2009

Judging from what you've already said ... the bag seems like a waste of time. Sorry, but its true. The wedding's over a year away and you don't expect her to really do anything but get a dress and show up ... so really, what would she need a "survival kit" for?I mean, I guess when the wedding gets closer, you can make a "day of survival" kit (Filled w/ the travel sewing kit, granola bars, bottled water, clear nail polish, etc ...) and put her "in charge" of it if you want.I don't want you to think I'm totally hating on your idea, I'm basing my opinions off of the information that's come directly from you: since you're not doing gifts, and she doesn't need to do anything, this is a tad on the pointless side.

banana468 · September 2009

Based on what you said, I'd just get her some cute stuff to put in the bag that she likes.

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

Wow, I am new to this site and I have NEVER in my experience come across so many negative people. I have posted on so many boards at other sites, weight loss, motherhood, scrapbooking, etc. and this is the first time I have been so turned off by how people are behaving. I didn't ask IF I should do it, I asked if anyone had any fun ideas. She is getting the bag, she will love it, and I am going to fill it with things that more than likely have nothing at all to do with the wedding. I just want to give her something fun, I guess I worded it wrong, maybe I shouldn't have used "survival kit" it's more of a goodie bag, although I thought maybe people had some good ideas on what I can throw in there to help her the day of. I don't plan on giving it to her a year ahead of time, nor the day of, just sometime in the next year after it's filled. And also, I am using fake flowers! Another thing I know people will BASH on here

kmmssg · September 2009

Sounds to me like you are just trying to do something a little special for your sister. Your second post really indicates that you have no unrealistic expectations of her and most everything is under control. While I don't have any specific suggestions for now, maybe you could just turn this into a an "I wanted to do something special for you tote" and not really a survival kit. MOH's really don't need those. Maybe over the next few months you and she could be researching things that are important for the wedding day (like the bride's survival kit) etc, and keep that in the tote. Kind of sounds like she is pretty excited and wants to help. I was 17 and MOH in one of my brother's wedding and I was completely excited about the whole ordeal and wanted to be really involved. (and yes, they had MOH's way back then!!

Your heart is in the right place and I can tell she means a lot to you. If you found a funny book at Barnes and Noble about being in a wedding, that might be a good start. Maybe you guys could have a little photo album in there and make sure you take a camera when you do wedding stuff so you can take pics. By the sounds of it, you will make this special for her as well as yourself. Sorry I could not offer any better suggestions. Good luck!

kmmssg · September 2009

oops. Looks like we were posting at the same time.

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

Thank you KMMSSG, you are the first one that sees where I am coming from. And I love your ideas, she is a reader and a book would be a great idea!! I am terrible at coming up with gifts, I never would have thought of it but it is perfect! I think she is very excited! I am glad to share this special time with her. Because of the age difference and a divorce situation, my sister and I have not spent much time together but I would love for us to be closer and I want to show her how special she is to me. I also think it's just a fun idea!

LovesMM · September 2009

Wow. You think these ladies were being harsh?? You haven't lurked at all have you? You specifically asked for things that will be needed or come in handy for the next year of planning but then you state that you don't expect her to do anything but buy the dress. Contradictory much?? If you want to fill a bag of things that your sister will like then you are going to know more about what your sister likes than the ladies on this board. Personally, I wouldn't want a tote that says MOH, I would rather it say my name. I won't alway be a MOH but I will always have my name.

megk8oz · September 2009

Ok, well now that you've actually *said* it doesn't need to be wedding-related and you're calling it a "goodie bag", then why don't you just treat it as such?Say you were giving her a bag o' stuff for her birthday or Christmas (I know you said you guys don't do that, but pretend for a moment): what would you put in it?Does she like to do the at-home-spa thing? Maybe get a nice robe some bath bombs, a gift card to Bath & Body works and maybe a cd of relaxing music?Or if she likes movies: gift card to a theatre, a DVD she would like and a box of popcorn?And don't go jumping down peoples throats for giving you the advice you asked for. People will advise you based on how you word the question. If you use the words "survival kit" and fail to mention you meant "goodie bag", then people are not going to magically read your mind and know what you really meant. We're not here to crap all over people, we actually are here to help.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2009

Chill. No one's being negative; we're just sharing our thoughts.You didn't make yourself totally clear in the original post. You said I bought her a tote that says MOH and I want to fill it with stuff that might come in handy over the next year of planning. That sounds like you want to put things in it to help her in the planning process (which is a B&G's responsibility anyway). You have now clarified that you just want to put gifts in it which sounds more like a TY for being the MOH. If that's what you want to do, go for it. Put things in it that she likes.

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

I have been reading other posts over the last few days and a majority of what I read is negative. I posted the comment about fake flowers because I just read a post where a girl posted a picture of the centerpieces she created and everyone just bashed her because they were fake. The nerve of people!! There are many reasons for fake (cost, convenience, allergies) and just because they look fake doesn't mean they look horrible. Have some compassion people. She put a lot of time and effort into making those. As for the comment about having it say MOH and not her name. My sister is young and VERY proud of having the honor of being my MOH, she is excited and will be thrilled to have a bag that announces to everyone her role. And no she will probably never again use it after the wedding but she will enjoy for that one special day.

LovesMM · September 2009

The 'negative comments' you speak of are people opinions that are given when people ask for them. If you want validation and puppies and rainbows then go somewhere else. They weren't bashing for the fake flowers, they were just informing her that they looked fake. If she didn't mind then good for her. As for the tote bag then I say waste your money on a bag that says MOH. It's your money. If it were my money I would put her name on it so it can be reused. See that's called an opinion.

megk8oz · September 2009

Thank you, Retread! You are so wise.

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

well I put survival kit because I didn't know what else to call it, plus I'm open to any ideas, whether it be "survival kit" type stuff or just fun goodie bag things. As I said before, I have never been part of a wedding so I don't know what's needed and what the roles are. I was only asking for opinions to get ideas and suggestions. We don't do gifts because we are not close so it's hard to get really personal gifts. That's why I wanted opinions for general ideas. And someone asked what she likes, spa, movies etc. She is only 17, right now her priorities are homework and her boyfriend and that's about all she likes to do lol

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2009

i tunes gift cardmovie gift card ffor her and her BF to have a date night

LovesMM · September 2009

Give her school supplies.

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

How come when I say "I didn't ask..." is not acceptable? I've read that on many posts I have seen today. So far they have all been under the bridal party section. Lots of girls are asking for ideas on something, not if they should do it. And I understand it's a year away but we are pretty much done planning. We have our ceremony site, reception site, cake, flowers, photgrapher, DJ, etc...all paid for already, also all the centerpieces are done, favors are bought. We like to plan ahead and now all we have to do is sit back and enjoy the next year.

bablingbrooke · September 2009

If you wanted to give her a goodie bag, you would have just said that. You wouldn't need to post questions on a message board to ask what your sister might like in a goodie bag. You said you wanted to put stuff in to help her help you plan over the next year. You say she's never been in a wedding. So you wanted us to tell you "Your sister must have X, Y and Z or else she's of no use to you for the next year." Don't backpedal like that. It's just insulting. I find it refreshing when people just say "Your know what, you're right, that was over the top. I think I'll just get her a goodie bag instead."

megk8oz · September 2009

Also, bashing everybody for "bashing" somebody else really is an irrelevant point, no matter who makes it. How about you try the approach of giving you the advice you were really looking for:You are so right. You are the greatest sister ever, I can't believe you managed to come up with such a great idea as to getting your MOH and BAG that had MOH printed on it. And now you want to fill it with wedding stuff because being the MOH is the single most important thing that ever happened to her in her life? Well, good for you! I can't believe how original and thoughtful and wonderful you are.My personal suggestion would be to throw in one of those embroidered hoodies with her name on the front and MAID OF HONOR in big bright letters on the back. Then, get her a picture frame, a compact, a keychain, and a charm bracelet that all have MAID OF HONOR engraved or embellished on it somehow. I'm sure once you present her with this wonderful bag, her cup will runneth over, she will cry tears of pure joy, and realize that she will never in her life experience a greater moment then getting to be your MOH ... and to think, she never would have even realized this if you hadn't started with a tote bag that said MOH on it.There, is that more what you wanted to hear? Hope this helps, I really do.

LovesMM · September 2009

Miller, It's a public forum. It doesn't matter if you "didn't ask" people are going to give their opinions and you can't do anything about it.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2009

Ditto BB about the backpedaling. Your original post was definitely wedding related and then you clarified. That was fine but you can't pretend that the post WASN'T wedding related.Anyway, about the "I didn't ask you" question. It's rude to tell people what they can or can not say on a forum or message board. That's for the knot to decide, not posters. And just because other people have said it doesn't mean that it's okay. Their threads probably weren't as active as yours and therefore the comments weren't noticed.

banana468 · September 2009

How come when I say "I didn't ask..." is not acceptable?It's rude to come to the board and ask for input and then say, "I didn't ask you to say X." The ladies are free to post what they desire on the thread as long as it's within the Knot's rules.PLEASE listen to the advice given. Put the things that your sister loves in that tote bag and enjoy it. You have a long time to be engaged and that's what's being stressed here. It can be very easy to get overzealous and excited about planning at first but the time you're engaged can start to feel very old to not just you but also to your sister.

kbandjcforever · September 2009

You're seriously using the "everyone else is doing it" logic?

future.mrs.miller · September 2009

I'm not using that as an excuse, simply asking why I was called out on it and nobody else was. Just trying to understand the rules. Seems they apply to some and not others.

tidetravel · September 2009

FYI - In that fake flowers post, the bride ASKED FOR OPINIONS on them. We gave them. And, most of the opinions were, "They looked fake and cheap." Then, we gave her helpful opinions on how she could make them not look that way. That OP didn't take offense to the posts, and neither should you.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2009

Are you really going to delete your account over this?

kmmssg · September 2009

Future mrs m - I have been around here for almost 5 years. Banana and Mrs B are two of my top favorites for on the mark, common sense responses. Please don't consider not posting anymore - there is a wealth of info here and since I've gone thru 3 daughters' weddings in those 5 years (one to go) I can tell you this is the place to be. Just remember that when you post something, you have to realize that people will respond with what is on their mind and what they think is worthy of passing along. If it doesn't work for you, skip over it. You choose what you post, and they choose what they post. When I saw the title of your post, my first thought was, "Oh great! Another zilla who thinks her MOH is a slave or something!" Of course it wasn't. I think I may have identified with your post a bit more because I was MOH at 17 in my brother's wedding and I have always been a wedding freak. I know, I'm pathetic! I was totally geeked to be in their wedding and help with the plans. What 17 year old finds the cake baker? I took "MOH survival kit" in the same vane others did - what the heck would you do with that and what would you put in it?" You came back and clarified a bit and that really helped.I'd love to hear what you come up with for this gift for your sister.I hope you stick around and contribute to the boards. It is so nice to see a bride who had appropriate expectations of her MOH - you could offer a lot here!

banana468 · September 2009

Thanks kmmssg!And ditto the realistic expectations of your BP. It's refreshing to see that!!

MOH Survival Kit

Re: MOH Survival Kit

Choose Another Board

Search Boards