Ceremony/Reception Timing Dilemma

dlespera · September 2009

Here's the dilemma: I am having a traditional Catholic wedding on a Saturday afternoon. There is a mass at 4:00, and I can either have my wedding at 2:30 or 5:30. The problem is that my guests can't arrive at the reception site until 6:30 pm. What do the guests do with the time in between? Should I have a later wedding ceremony, and risk not being able to get all of the pictures I want without it getting dark on us?

MeaghanandMichael · September 2009

Pictures were really important to me so I wouldn't skimp on those. You should host something for your guests to do in the gap. It doesn't have to be anything special, just some light snacks and wine/sodas in a room at your reception venue or your parents house is fine. Most guests will find something to do in the meantime too.

LucyD1029 · September 2009

I'm not a fan of gaps, so I would have the later ceremony.

choppinbroccoli22 · September 2009

Would you consider doing pictures before the ceremony? I'm not sure if that's OK or not with a traditional Catholic wedding.

kelmarfar · September 2009

We had the same dilemma- we went with the 5:30 mass and are doing pictures beforehand. Our cocktail hour begins at 7, so we're running with a pretty tight timeline.

kebmtm071605 · September 2009

Gaps really suck. We had the same issue, and we chose a 5:30 ceremony. Our wedding was in the summertime though, so sunset was quite late.

valpag · September 2009

my wedding on Saturday was a 2pm ceremony and a 6pm cocktail hour. I was also worried about the gap but it worked out great. We had about 30 rooms booked at our hotel, after the ceremony overnight guest went to the hotel and checked in, relaxed, freshened up. no one complained about the gap. for us and the bridal party it worked out prefect. My husband & I stopped back at our house to take photos w/our dog and hung out for a bit w/a few friends. We went to the hotel were we also got to freshen up & check out or suite & reception room. We had all of our photos done by 6:15 and joined the cocktail hour. I am so glad we had the time that we did, nothing was rushed or stressful. It was the prefect day!If guest have an big issue with the time gap than worst case they wont go to the ceremony. But your true friends & family that want to be there for you will make it work & wont complain about it!Good luck!

kebmtm071605 · September 2009

valpag, it's great that it worked out for you, and of course no one would be so rude to complain to you directly...but really, that's a huge time gap and a giant inconvenience to your guests. For example, for your local guests who have kids, that's 3-4 extra hours of babysitting they have to pay for ($45-60).And for the guests who are close enough to not stay over, but too far from home to go home in between...what are they supposed to do?

LucyD1029 · September 2009

Of course no one is going to the bride & groom about it, but believe me, they will complain.

valpag · September 2009

actually they really didnt complain. People who lived nearby whent home, people who did not live near by went to friends houses that were close to church/reception and others just got togther at the bar with friends. I talk to many of my friends/family the weeks leading up to my wedding and told them I understood that if they could not make it to the church, everyones reaction was "I wouldn't miss it for anything" It was great to see that about 95% of my guest were at the ceremony becuase they wanted to be there for us.So you guys may think it is a incovience but I have a great group of friends and family that were more than excited to be there for us!Dlespera - do what works best for you and your fiance! I couldn't of been happier with how my day went!

freckles79964 · September 2009

I have the same exact problem. I'm leaning towards a 5:30 ceremony with the reception starting at 7:00. I'm also hoping NOT to have the full mass so it will only be 45 minutes instead of an hour and 15 minutes, but that sort of depends on my FMIL (devout Catholic). On my wedding day the sun sets at 6:45pm. I already talked to my photographer about this, and he is bringing lights so we can still do some outdoor pics in the twilight. I also have the problem where a lot of my friends are coming from Lowell and my reception is in Winthrop, and my ceremony is in Everett. So a potential gap is really annoying for them, too short to go and come back (ceremony ends at 3:30/4:00, reception would begin at 6pm) but what do they do for two hours?

noodle_oo · September 2009

Having been a guest at many weddings, I will say that long time gaps are not fun for the guests. I would never say anything bad about it, but I would definitely be thinking it. I would avoid it if you can, but if you can't, then I would definitely plan on something for your guests to do during the gap. The worst thing (as a guest) is to be all dressed up with nowhere to go for a few hours. When you invite someone to your wedding, they are blocking out the day to celebrate with you, so please try to keep them entertained for the entire time that you are inviting them for (from ceremony to reception).

cherylron · September 2009

we had the same dilemma and chose the 5:30pm ceremony with the cocktail hour starting at 7:30 - we did most of our pictures before hand, starting at 3:15, and did about 30 mins more of photos afterwards. unfortunately, the gap if we had a 2pm ceremony would've been awful for guests, especially b/c a lot were from out of town. we have been to weddings in the past where there was a large gap with nothing planned and it is not fun, and the guests end up spending more money out of their pocket. if you pick the 2pm ceremony, make sure you plan and cover some kind of afternoon app party while you are taking photos. gl!

GardenBryd · September 2009

We had a 3PM ceremony and 6PM reception. Honestly? It was the best thing about the wedding over which I had no control. We were able to take all of our big group family photos after the church (whole extended family), all of our bridal party shots, all of our bride and groom shots--and still join the cocktail hour (though even with the gap, we missed some of it)! It worked perfectly. The wedding day goes so so fast, and completely selfishly, I loved having a bit of extra time to enjoy it (and to be able to make the cocktails).From the guests' perspective, I can't tell you how many people said they liked having the chance to take a break (at the hotel, in most cases) between, freshen up, regroup, go from church mood to evening mode--I was really surprised, actually. Granted, in our case, the church was 30 minutes from the reception site, so in the end, people only had an hour--which turned out to be about perfect. I don't think you need to plan anything in between--we just suggested a stop at the hotel, or a few places in Concord center (on the way to reception site) for a few drinks/a snack. No one showed up drunk (someone once said this can be a problem if the break is too long).I vote for the 2:30, assuming there is some kind of drive between church and reception (to time-kill), and there's some kind of place for guests to stop (even if just at the hotel) before the reception.

Ceremony/Reception Timing Dilemma

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