I apoligize for the length (and spelling) in advance. My brother & his wife are going through a NASTY divorce, she was supposed to be one of our bridesmaids but her behavior tward him is totally inaproppriate (I'll spare you the ugly details). She is wonderful tward everyone else but to him, she's absolutely horrible and we're not convinced that she won't create a scene at some point through the wedding process (i.e. rehearsal to the dance & anywhere in-between).We haven't told her yet because we're concerned that she'll take it out on him or their 2 boys who are also in the wedding (he's one of our ushers & the boys are our ring bearer & jr. groomsman). We're debating waiting to tell'er until after their divorce is final but we don't know how long that will take & we don't want to wait too long nor find out she's already bought her shoes & dress then have to say 'oh, btw...'. The other thing is 'how do we tell'er' because we want to be as civil as possible becacuse after it's all said & done, she's still my son's godmother and the mother of my nephews. We honestly don't know why she would still want to knowing how uncomfortable it would be and we have given her several chances to back out on her own making sure she knew we would understand but she hasn't yet.I did consider suggesting that it would be a good chance for her & her girlfriends to have a 'girl's weekend' somewhere but regardless it's still going to be hard.HELP, any suggestions on how to telll'er?