Minor panic - rant

Cantia · June 2010

I'm just about 2 months away from my wedding and after browsing through Brie's gorgeous wedding pictures it's just hit me that I don't have a freaking clue.

I don't have any cute ideas for anything, any pretty DIY decorations like Poli's poms or picture ribbons, any clue how to do vaguely interesting table numbers, or funky umbrellas for WP pictures. I'm not comfortable with people's attention on me, I don't want to walk down the terrifying aisle with all eyes on me, and I don't have a pair of shoes or wedding bands.

I don't know how to write vows or readings for the ceremony, I don't know how to do a table chart, and I don't have flower girls (which I don't even know if I need).

To sum it up: I've never been the bridey type, I've only been to one wedding as an adult so I can't really compare, and I'm clueless how to do things with only 2 months to go. Yay.

I fully understand it's complete BS in comparison with important things like the oil spill, but it's Saturday, I'm home alone and I've started to panic a little.

/rant over

baby green bird · June 2010

Better do sumpin.' You only have 2 months.

quotequeen · June 2010

Stop panicking. All you need is a bride, a groom, an officiant, and maybe a witness or two. Everything else is just a big party. If DIY projects aren't "you" don't do them just because other people are. Use your venue's regular old table numbers. FInd a ceremony you like online. You can buy shoes whenever or wear ones you own. Flower girls aren't necessary at all. If you come up with ideas for any of these things you can do them, if not, no big deal, you will still be married.

In short, chill girl.

klreese0213 · June 2010

Don't freak out! if you're home alone and want to feel better start by either a-make a nice yummy fruity adult drink

or b- chocolate cake!

As for all the other stuff- none of it is necessary! but if you want to do the stuff, you still have 2 months! you have time! take a couple hours a night and put towards what you want to do. lots of stuff isn't necessary.

wedding picture ideas- i'm sure if you've hired a pro photographer they have some great ideas.
DYI- you have time, but it isn't necessary!
table numbers every venue has. but if you want something fun, so something as simple as photos of you w/ sticker numbers or locations (cities, beachs, mountains, etc) simple photos that can be pulled up on your computer and loaded onto costco, cvs, walmart, etc websites for each printing!
wedding shoes- as PP said use something you have or take a day with the girls and go shopping!

you don't have to have readings, and i'm sure your officiant has a generic vow to read off.

you're freaking out and it's normal. i personally don't know what that point feels like, but just remember you still have 2 months. that's quit a bit of time still. relax.

Enjoy your wedding!

Brie2010 · June 2010

Dude. I felt the exact same way two months before my wedding. I was sure it was going to look like crap and nothing was going to match or go together or flow. I wasn't really the bridey type either, I just bought stuff I liked and hoped for the best, and insisted on putting pictures of our cats on the tables even though everyone thought I was nuts, and I think it turned out okay.

Bottom line: if your wedding reflects you personally, it will be good. And if you're simple and not really into the whole bridal thing, well, that will come through at your wedding and it'll just be more "you."

pooh8402 · June 2010

yea, my panic point was 2 months prior as well. it's pretty normal. most of the stuff you're freaking about came together for us in the last month. we didn't have the ceremony vows or readings picked out until 10 days before the wedding.

just breathe. relax. you're fine.

Cantia · June 2010

Deep breath, phew. You know, it feels good to know that I'm not nuts and it's actually a pretty normal feeling. I had an idea for a theme a few months ago but I don't know if it's going to look cheesy so I haven't really done much about it. As for the pictures, we have an awesome photographer and I fully trust her. I'm sure she'll manage to make things interesting minus umbrellas.

If I was to make a bio now I'd only be able to fill the attire and location sections and little else. Then I take a look at other people's awesome bios with ideas, projects, funky things, details that will be remembered, even a color scheme! and I panic a little. I think 2months is plenty of time, but then I go 'duuude 2 months means 8 weeks. Crap'.

To be honest I think my key issues are logistics (walking down the aisle, bridal party which only consists of 2 people, stage fright, saying something coherent at the ceremony) and lack of cute details. FI is extremely un-bridey too so he can't really help. On that note Brie, your wedding looks absolutely gorgeous.

Thanks for the awesome advice guys, helps a lot. Seriously.

Edit to add: planning long distance is not really helping matters either.

pooh8402 · June 2010

the logistics stuff.. you'll figure out at the rehearsal. that's what it is for.

tidetravel · June 2010

There's nothing to say that you have to walk down the aisle yourself, either. Your FI can escort you in, if you're uncomfortable, or he can meet you halfway down the aisle.

Cantia · June 2010

Thanks for the suggestion Tide. A friend of ours will be walking me down the aisle in fact, he introduced me to FI so we think it's fitting. Knowing he'll be there helps but I'm still uncomfortable with people giving me so much attention, not just during the ceremony but throughout the rest of the event. Is my posture correct? Shoulders back? That kind of thing. I think it's my paranoid mind talking.

tidetravel · June 2010

I wouldn't worry about it - you'll be too busy enjoying yourself. The only question that's really important at that point is, "are my boobs hanging out?"

Cantia · June 2010

Haha, damn one more thing to worry about!

ricksang · June 2010

I did one thing DIY and that was stamp little skulls (Halloween wedding) on my takeout boxes for me candy buffet.

We also did not write vows. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. This is your wedding you are preparing for, not a job interview. Don't make it stressful. Enjoy yourself!

ricksang · June 2010

Also, use the knot boards for what they were made for, a wedding resource. Heck some of us married hags could even help you with ideas.

Cantia · June 2010

Hmm I think tomorrow I'll be doing some serious planning, research and other people's bio-scouting but I do feel better for now. And heck, I might even ask questions in the relevant wedding boards!

Don't hold it against me, I like it here. It's more fun.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply, very much appreciated.

katiewhompus · June 2010

Also, dont' base the success of your wedding on the pictures of others. When I was planning I really got in a funk because I would think, "Wow, my pictures will never be as good as Zangels, or SarahSmiles, or...". Or I wasn't getting married in a beautiful church or have an outrageous venue. As others have said just stay true to yourself and your wedding will be wonderful. My wedding was 100% Kristi (and Scott) and I thought it was practically perfect in every way.
I was also worried about being the center of attention because I hate being in the spotlight (unless I'm acting, then it's fine because I'm pretending to be someone else). But honesty, I didn't even notice it on the wedding day. Just remind yourself that you are surrounded by people who love you and your fi and aren't there to judge you.

temerityjane · June 2010

I feel the same way. I will probably continue to feel the same way until the wedding day.

If you want a consolation, take a look at MY bio. Heh.

Cantia · June 2010

Your bio is officially awesome, you have purple hair! I like.

polichik · June 2010

Don't worry, lady! I know that my bio reads like a less-talented Martha Stewart threw up in there, but that's how I've always been. I love wedding when they reflect the bride and groom's personal style, which can often mean simple, classic minimalism. I'm doing these projects because I'd do stuff like this for any party I'd throw, because I love stuff like that. But I can't IMAGINE doing a bunch of DIY projects if I didn't really like doing them. As long as you and your FI are married at the end of the day, your wedding will be a success. All you need to do is get your wedding bands, make sure your guests are fed and watered, and show up

Cantia · June 2010

Poli, I've just been browsing through your bio again and 1) I love your invitations and paper bits and pieces and 2) that seating chart is super-awesome.

I guess I have all the major things covered (photographer, venue, meal, dress). I just want to get the wedding over with at the moment, but knowing myself 6 months after the wedding I'm going to think of some kind of super idea and regret not having done it in the first place.

I'm a bit more motivated with things now and might re-think my theme idea and give it a go. I'll keep you posted.

polichik · June 2010

Ok! Let me know if you want to talk any ideas over. After two years of planning, I have read more wedding magazines and blogs than I know what to do with. No matter what you do or don't do, your wedding will be great!

Thanks for the compliments on the invitations! I didn't come up with the design for the main invitation myself, but it was fun to make my own version on Photoshop! We haven't started the seating chart yet, but we bought all the materials and FI is trying to figure out the best way to go about it. We'll see how it goes!

Cantia · June 2010

Yay thanks for offering your help!

I'll put some ideas together tomorrow and see where I'm at with things and time.

Morfudd · June 2010

I can empathize. At least you aren't at two weeks out and throwing temper tantrums at your printer.

It'll be beautiful. It's a wedding. It'll be you, and you'll be so happy to be married, you won't notice.

(Really. I once sang for a wedding at which the bride's room was broken into and her wallet, those of the bridesmaids and that the wedding planner, were all stolen. Now, that's an extreme example, and not a "planning" example, but-- the bride was so happy you could barely get the name of her credit card company out of her to try to find their number. Nothing that bad is going to happen to you; you'll be fine.)

(But don't leave your purses alone in the bride's room.)

Chantal & Ed · June 2010

OMG I'm getting married on Friday the 13th of August too! I freaked out a bit last night over diy flowers (2 sets of everything) and the fact we don't have a DJ yet. FI is slacking on the DJ...tsk tsk.

My FI was borderline freaking out at the end of April because I didn't even start the 70 diy bilingual hand stamped invites at that point. Surprisingly, I didn't freak about that. Maybe the Bailey's and coffee helped.

Hmm...maybe that's why that one invite was so crooked?! LOL

I still don't have shoes let alone a theme for the wedding. Centerpieces- still undecided. Oh and my bio is pretty much nonexistent. It will all get done.

Hakuna Matata!

rbtrumpet · June 2010

ohh man - I'm so glad I read this. I'm coming up to 2 months out, and I'm starting to freak out about the same things. I don't have anything "unique". I don't have anything "memorable". I don't have a theme. I'm just having your standard, run-of-the-mill wedding. Maybe I should have bought this dress. Maybe the bridesmaids should be wearing that instead. And on and on....

Sadly, it's actualy comforting to know that others go throuugh this too!

I'm not exactly freaking out, I know my wedding will go off just like I planned it. I'm just afraid it will be moderate, and that the guests will have a mediocre time, etc...

srkropf · June 2010

1st-- No bride is allowed/required to worry about large national issues that she has no control over-- unless your Hilary Clinton or something

Second-- DIY projects aren't for everyone-- so if you don't want DIY projects, or anything else-- don't have it. This is your/you FI wedding-- do what you want, have what you want, and don't worry about anything else.

Third-- stop panicing, make descisions, and move on. I would start with shoes to buy those-- you still need to make sure that your dress is just right with them on, then move on to seating chart/ tables. Are you going to have set seating, or just people where they want to sit-- make the descision and then uses The Knot seating chart to help you-- works wonders. As for vows-- you don't have to make your own, a majority of people go with a preset vow and your officiant will have you repeat after him.

I hope this helps-- but you are the only one who can help yourself!

srkropf · June 2010

Yeah I agree with Tide-- visible nipples is about the only big problem that you should worry about at the ceremony-- and hopefully you don't know any weird posture-police in your guest list

Minor panic - rant

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