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Got me thinking.... Poll

sarlahsarlah
500 Comments
in Destination Weddings Discussions
I was reading the responses to t1inkfan's post about her dress & WR stress, and something in CNN's reply got me thinking about how much we all do to plan the dream wedding "we" want. I was wondering how involved your FI's have been throughout the planning process. For instance, getting all the addresses of people for FI guest list was like pulling teeth! And I'm still missing TWO addresses! We've already sent the invitations out! Just thinking about this is making me mad. At some point very soon there will be no point in even sending those invitations out because the RSVP date will be so close. I feel bad, but I can't do it - he has to. They're his family for crying out loud! Other than that he has been more like "yes I like that, no I don't like that" or mainly the so loved "whatever you want." The thing that drives me absolutely crazy is when we talk about something, agree on a decision, and down the line he has no recollection of any of it. I'm planning the wedding "we" wanted right? Or am I planning the wedding I wanted, and FI is just going along because it doesn't matter that much to him?Do any of you have FI's who are super into planning, to the point you wish they would back off a little? lol. Or are any of you in the same boat as me where it's like, you give them one thing to do and it can't even get that done?I know guys generally don't care about a lot of this stuff, but if he could just pay attention... that's all I ask for at this point! :)
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Re: Got me thinking.... Poll

  • Soon2bMrsNaylorSoon2bMrsNaylor
    500 Comments
    FI tries to be supportive, but the whole "it's whatever you want/like" drives me insane. I'm asking for his opinion which means I need a real answer. I think he's finally coming around since it's getting close. But, his laid back attitude when I'm way stressed annoys me =)
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  • captainleelacaptainleela
    1000 Comments
    My FI is pretty much like yours. The part that really drives me crazy is when we have a discussion about something and decide on it, and then he completely blocks it out of his memory (again, like your FI Sara!) Here is our conversation we had on Sunday in regard to the wedding: Him: Where are we staying on Sunday night?Me: In the honeymoon suite.Him: We're staying there for two nights??Me: Yes, that is what we decided.Him: Oh.Me: We did talk about this, you know.Him: Oh. *Silence because I can tell he doesn't want to stay there for two nights*AAAAAAAGH. I've pretty much given up. I've decided that all of the big decisions have been made, so he doesn't get an opinion on anything else from now on, because he's going to tell me he likes something and then forget and then later tell me he doesn't like it. The one thing he's been really in to planning is the honeymoon though...which I'm very grateful for, because it's turning into a bigger planning nightmare than the wedding. The only problem is that he can't make up his frigging mind.
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  • FutureMrs.McCFutureMrs.McC
    500 Comments
    My FI couldn't care less.  I narrow things down to two or three options and he makes the final decision.  I really don't give him any tasks to do on his own because he wouldn't and I would end up getting pissed off and doing it anyway.  I too would still be waiting on addresses if I left it up to him.  My BF's FI is super into planning and driving her nuts!  I guess I'll take mine who doesn't do anything.
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  • caymans_christycaymans_christy
    100 Comments
    My FI is really opinionated about certain things - some of them odd like centerpieces, but the majority he is fine with whatever I suggest.  I have to keep pushing on the addresses, but I figure any that I get is better than I expected after he thought it would be a gret idea just to "hand" them out to whoever...  (AHR, not the DW).  For the most part, we have agreed on everything except his and his BM's outfits (no sweetie, a black t-shirt and shorts is not really going to match my full length wedding gown...) and the food ("noone is going to want to eat that weird food..."  really, because I want fish, your mother wants fish, your father wants fish, really everyone else at the wedding will want fish, just not Mr. Picky McGroom!! p.s it is buffett with 3 entree options - one of which might end up being the chicken fingers from the kids menu... and no, there are no kids at the wedding...  just my sweet FI)I typically try to have a couple of suggestions for him and let him decide or make other suggestions...  just asking, "what should our wedding colors be?" would not have gotten a constructive response...  but telling him that I wanted hot pink (and listed the reasons why) and what other color did he think would go with it (after showing him a bunch of different pictures)...  he picked sage(ish) green...Sorry for the long reply!!
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  • ericandcindyericandcindy
    100 Comments
    FI is generally involved. Not too much. But one thing I get frustrated with is when I try to get a project started and he seems to have no interest. Then a few weeks pass and he's rushing me to help him with it like it was his idea. I constantly have to remind him that I made that list or we already decided on that. It got to be where I would write a note with the date if something important was discussed. Then when he'd wonder later on I'd just shoe him the note.
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  • gabi829gabi829 member
    100 Comments
    They do have a tendency to forget things.Though I think my favorite wedding planning moment was when I asked fi how much he thought a wedding cost and he said 3000 to 4000 dollars.  When I showed him the average costs of a wedding, he was flabbergasted.  He couldn't believe that the last wedding we went to cost about $100 a head since the food was pretty basic.Fortunately we're not straying too far from his original "idea" of a budget because we have plenty of time to plan.
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  • alisonpilgrim610alisonpilgrim610
    500 Comments
    I'm in your boat. FI just keeps saying "whatever you want dear" (I HATE being called pet names and he knows it, so he does it on purpose) and then he says "Just tell me where to be and what I have to wear and I'll be there". OK! Thanks for caring!!! ARGH! I ask his opinion on stuff, but I mostly get "yeah, that's nice" or "yeah, let's do that". The biggest thing he did was make the decision on getting married in Aruba & picking the location b/c I couldn't decide. So, now I only go to him when I can't decide on things and then I just stick with what he likes more. I just don't think the little things matter as much to guys.
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  • AprilJTAprilJT
    100 Comments
    I'm in exactly the same boat as you.  He also never ended up getting me the ONE address I ask him to get, so that person didn't end up getting invited.  Anytime that I try to talk to him about the details he basically just rolls his eyes at me.  The truth is he doesn't care.  He loves me and all, but he doesn't care about the wedding.   Just as long as I tell him where and when the rest to him is pointless.  That is until I bought his pants for him and then he was upset that he didn't get to buy them himself.  But comeon, he is gonna be out of the country with the military until a week before the wedding.  If I didn't buy them he would be getting married in a pair of old jeans!  :)
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