African American Weddings

Wedding Is OFF

I know I haven't participated much in conversations but I have enjoyed you ladies so much.  I will continue to read and see how things are coming along.  I wish each and everyone the very best and a dream wedding. My FI and I were living together.  We have a son together and I needed someone to keep him for like an hour in the morning and an hour and half in the evening.  Well, my FI said to ask my brother.  My brother agreed but started staying each night because he knew they were losing their house.  Well, my friend told me that he didn't want my brother staying with us.  Mind you my FI is a LT and he pays the water and cable while I pay the mortgage and lights.  Okay, everything was supposed to be halfed once he got all his bills straight.  That never happened.  I didn't feel he had any right to try to make me put my brother out of My House; not his.  So he hadn't spoken to me in about 2 weeks.  I couldn't take it any longer and asked him to leave Sunday morning.  I hated to do it because my son is really attached to him but I felt that it was necessary.  I didn't know how my son would be in school Monday but he did well.  He did say that he missed his dad but his dad came to practice.  I was fine in my classroom and life went on as normal until today.  His mother called me at work and said that she was wondering what happened.  She went on to say that he told her that I was running around in the street.  OMG!!I was so hurt because I am a professional have an image to uphold and that is not my character.  I have never ran around in the street.  I wanted to speak with the principal and ask if I could have the day off because I felt so bad but I pressed my way on.I had already began paying for my flowers since my florist had to order them and they are cheaper during this time of year.  The total for the flowers was $1500 and then I wanted beaded plates which I purchased and I also purchased beautiful chargers, nice frames for each guest, chair covers but that all turned out to be a waste.  I hope no one else looses money like I did.Enough about this and good luck to all the brides and all the recently married I wish you the best as well also.  I am getting to old now to think about getting a soul mate.  I am 37 years old so I will focus on my little boy and let it go.  God has blessed me with too much for me to allow this to get me down.  I have got to let this go, even the money I lost so that I can get whatever else God has for me. 

Re: Wedding Is OFF

  • edited December 2011
    Angela, I am so sorry to hear this! I will say a prayer for you.  I know that this is a tough time but don't give up.  What G-D has for you, is for you, and you never know who that might be in the future. Take care!  
  • edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to here this! I know that God have a plan for you!
  • edited December 2011
    So Sorry To Hear What Happened. God has a plan for us all sweetie and maybe that wasn't it. You sound as if your a very strong women and can hold your own. Do whats best for you and your child. I wish the best and will pray for you. Also I would post the items you purchased already on here for sale with pictures or even craigslist. Smile:) God Loves You. TTYL
  • edited December 2011
    Angela,I am very sorry. Please give yourself time to grieve, it's healthy. All too often we as black women tend to keep things in and keep appearances up. I am 39 yrs. old and I met my soul mate, it's never too late to find happiness, even if it's being happy and in love with yourself. God already gave us the patience we need, we just have to practice it to master it. Be well.
  • edited December 2011
    I am truly sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can understand the frustration and I truly can relate to just focusing on God and your child. I will pray for you.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies for the encouraging words.  Thanks for suggesting trying to sell the items.  I am not wealthy but I was injured a long time ago after I did one year of law school and decided it wasn't for me.  I wanted to probation and parole but they said I needed correctional officer experience.  I applied and got a pie position but was injuried very bad while employed so I retired on a work related disability.  I never received my benefits for 11 years and got PAID in June.  I am far from wealthy but in addition to teaching I also was a supervisor for a mental health company part-time.  I was really planning to chalk up the loss because God has really blessed me lately.  If I don't recoup my money I want go hungry (lol).  I am blessed in that I work because I don't want to be home becaue I get a work related disbablity check each money, my school salary (considering I am blessed to have a job with our schools merging) and then I continue to work part-time with mental health.  I just can't be still HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So may go ahead and post items soon.  Please don't no one think I am boasting or bragging just thanking it is a good idea because another bride may be able to use some of the items.
  • edited December 2011
    We Understand Angela,I myself will be selling alot of my items once I'm done with them. I mean I wont use them again and like you say it may be another bride that can use them.Keep your strength in God and Trust he will get you through no matter what. When I'm going thru things in general or feeling bad about things. I listen to my favortie song. Check It Outhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO5aA-Wq03c
  • edited December 2011
    Angela I am so sorry to hear that you have gone thru so much at a time when this should have been the happiest moments in your life. I do not truly know what all is going on but from what you have shared maybe it is better right now that you and your son's father really take the time to reflect on what is really right for the both of you. Keep looking to God. Don't worry about what money you lost. You will get blessed ten times over. I pray that you get thru this ok. GL
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the link to the song.  That is very encouraging.  It is good to know that somebody understands and is praying for me. 
  • edited December 2011
    You are welcome. Its good to know that we all can come here and get advice. Im also grateful that all the women here encourage one another and help get us thru hard times. Good Evening MrClinton
  • edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you are going through this, but just keep in mind God doesn't make mistakes.  So, trust his plan, focus on moving forward and strengthening your relationship with your son and God and what is supposed to happen will happen on it's own.  Our timing is not God's timing.  Hope everything gets better for you.
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  • milana1023milana1023 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just coming in to give you a knottie hug. I'm sorry you're going through this but as someone already stated. God does not make mistakes. Take care.
  • ladylumladylum member
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear this. Knottie hug! Things ALWAYS get better. Especially if you persevere.
  • edited December 2011
    Praying for you!! When GOD closes a door he always opens another!!!
  • trevette1981trevette1981 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sending hugs and prayers!
  • edited December 2011
    Angie my dear. I am so apathetic. I wish you the best and I know that you will heal with time. I hoep that you will be ok. If you want to get rid of your stuff you can post here or sell so that it won't be a constant reminder and a waste of money. We love you and wish you the best for you and your son!
  • tamtam7tamtam7 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear this.  Your resilience and strength is amazing.  Continue to stay strong and positive for yourself and your son.  I wish you the best because you deserve it!
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    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear this. I know this must be rough for you and to hear him spread lies must be like a kidney punch. Just remember it is better to come to realization now than after the wedding. I wish you and your son the best.
  • edited December 2011
    Angie, I am soooo sorry to hear this but I am very proud of your attitude about the situation and your strength to carry on...you were given the insight and knowledge by GOD to understand your situation now instead of after the wedding...it is a tough hurdle to cross but you will get through it because you are a strong woman (just from reading your posts and other replies)...time heals and time also bring more understanding...I wish you nothing but peace and grace during this time in your life.  If and when you feel like just venting or chit-chatting with us, please don't hesitate even though this is TK we still discuss other matters besides weddings because sometimes family and friends don't get it.((((big ol' knottie hug coming your way)))
  • edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear about your situation, love. But look at it as a blessing in disguise. It's better to end an engagement than to end a marriage.
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  • edited December 2011
    Angela: I hurts my heart to read your story.  Most importantly it bothers me that you had to do so much as a woman in the relationship.  I am about to make a statement and apologize in advance if it offends anyone.  I am also a professional and I believe at the end of the day that a man should be a provider.  Regardless if he makes less than a woman.  By that I mean he should at least be able to contribute 50%, whether it is by cooking, cleaning whatever.  I does not necessarily mean financially.  That is the role that God has given to a man.  I do not believe a woman should have kill herself physically.  It is one thing to hold your husband down if God forbids he loses his job or becomes injured.  I believe if the man is well and able to work he should provide.  People may say money is not a big deal, but it is.  At the end of the day bills have to be paid.  I think you made a good decision.  Follow your heart.  Do not worry about him spreading rumors.  What goes around comes around!  PS It is never to late to find your soulmate.  I did not find mine until 29.  While my childhood friends were getting married and having children I focused on school.  One of my law school professors used to tell us, do you rather be out their parting and broke in your 30s?  We used to joke and say YES!  As we spent our Friday nights in the boring law library.  My FI came along at the perfect time.  Timing is everything!  I was in my Aunts wedding two years ago and she was 49.  She very happy and in Love.  Take care of your son.  See if you can sell some of the stuff you bought for the wedding.  Create a "for sale bio."  Take care and I will pray for you and your son.
  • edited December 2011
    Angela ~ I am sorry to hear of this! You will be in my prayers and I know that God will Bless you with someone who will be a provider for you and your son!! Best Wishes to U ! Cindy
  • edited December 2011
    Thank everyone for their prayers and knottie hugs.  I am blessed that he showed me who he was before the wedding.  Best wishes to all.
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