rude bridesmaid

JB86 · April 2010

So I was talking to one of my bridesmaid the other day and talking about booking her flight home for my wedding. The airline she wanted to fly with only flys tuesday and thursdays but she has to be back for a work placement on tuesday and cannot miss it. She can fly with other airlines for any day of the week to be back in time for her work placement. ( my wedding is in sept, labour day weekend) But she says why did you pick that date, its such a horrible time, its so inconvienet. I was shocked and speechless...for a second. I then told her I did not pick my wedding date to accomidate other people, I picked it because it was my wedding and the date I wanted. And that it is a long weekend and is actually more convienet for most people.

The very next day she booked her flight for the wedding with another airline for sunday so she would be back in plenty of time for her placement, and she got her ticket for very cheap might I add. Just wanted to share with everyone. I don't think she realized how much her rude comment hurt me

banana468 · April 2010

Honestly, I don't know that either of you responded to one another well.

You have to realize that while you pick a date that you want, if you want others to be there, you have to take them into consideration.

She may have also been gruff, but I think you do owe her an apology for your response as well.

suz62984 · April 2010

My wedding day was picked based on our wedding party. It is literally the only day in 2010 that we can get married.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

You can't please everyone with a wedding date, so don't bother justifying yourself. Our wedding was the weekend after Easter so we got a lot of 'we just traveled last weekend now we have to do it again.' We aren't religious so Easter means nothing to us, and it's not our fault people traveled on that day.

She was rude, but I'd just let it go. It's not worth it. But if she mentions it again I'd say something, but that's just me. When people are rude to me, I'm rude right back.

banana468 · April 2010

[QUOTE]But if she mentions it again I'd say something, but that's just me. When people are rude to me, I'm rude right back. [/QUOTE]

In general, that's not really appropriate.

You catch more flies with honey. Vinegar doesn't work.

Being rude to someone when she's rude to you is no way to justify your actions. Rude behavior is always inexcusable.

JB86 · April 2010

i honestly didn't look at it as an inconvient time. I guess it's who are are looking at it. never really thought of it that way i guess.

I'm travelling a 10 hour flight myslef to my home for my wedding to make it more convient for the majority of my family and freinds And i wasn't mad that she was leaving sunday, i was sad she couldnt stay longer really.

My beef was that she was saying how this airline ONLY flys tues and thurs and she had to be back for tues, but it was my fault and i was making it inconvient because i chose that date for my wedding. when in realty there were other airlines she could choose from...which she did. and will make it back in time for her placement andddd got a really cheap flght. I understad she was frustrated with the airline for only flying certain days but dont think it was nice to bash my special day.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_rude-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:68124d3c-c86c-495d-82d9-38ac7d5a0fd2Post:7b940358-6c93-4212-a4f7-212a83716de0">Re: rude bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]i honestly didn't look at it as an inconvient time. I guess it's who are are looking at it. never really thought of it that way i guess. I'm travelling a 10 hour flight myslef to my home for my wedding to make it more convient for the majority of my family and freinds And i wasn't mad that she was leaving sunday, i was sad she couldnt stay longer really. My beef was that she was saying how this airline ONLY flys tues and thurs and she had to be back for tues, but it was my fault and i was making it inconvient because i chose that date for my wedding. when in realty there were other airlines she could choose from...which she did. and will make it back in time for her placement andddd got a really cheap flght. I understad she was frustrated with the airline for only flying certain days but dont think it was nice to bash my special day.
Posted by JB86[/QUOTE]

Again, I don't think she "bashed" anything. She IS going to be there, right? The airline I use to fly home gets me there in shorter amounts of time than other airlilnes and it also only operates on certain days of the week, and saves me hundreds of dollars.

Be happy she has chosen to spend money and take the time to be there for *your special day*

emilyinchile · April 2010

Please stop using the phrase "my special day." It makes me vom a little each time I read it. Her comment wasn't nice because it's never particularly nice to tell your friend "your party is causing me a scheduling headache." But the fact that it's your wedding doesn't mean that she needs to be all sunshine and butterflies with every last detail, and seriously, saying that it's a pain to find a flight does not qualify as bashing.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_rude-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:68124d3c-c86c-495d-82d9-38ac7d5a0fd2Post:58498862-89a4-4177-b04a-b318e110cff5">Re: rude bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Please stop using the phrase "my special day." It makes me vom a little each time I read it.</strong> Her comment wasn't nice because it's never particularly nice to tell your friend "your party is causing me a scheduling headache." But the fact that it's your wedding doesn't mean that she needs to be all sunshine and butterflies with every last detail, and seriously, saying that it's a pain to find a flight does not qualify as bashing.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

THIS!

JB86 · April 2010

well i think by her saying why would you pick this date, it's such a horrible time. it's so inconvient. and going on and on.....sounds like bashing the date to me...but either way yes she will be here for MY SPECIAL DAY and I can't wait to see her and enjoy the day.

Just felt like having a little rant and sharing something that bothered me a little. Just seeing if other brides had any of the same things said to them or similar problems. I kinda thought this message boeard was for brides to come together, support each other though a happy but also stressful time. Not to be rude to each other. i value other people's opinins but no need to get bitchy.

Anyways ladies, i have a wedding to plan. No more message boards for me

Hope you all have fun planning yours too.

emilyinchile · April 2010

Bashing the date, yes.

Bashing your wedding which happens to fall on that date, no.

This message board is to give advice, and my advice remains "grow a thicker skin."

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

You are really making me dislike you.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

I LOVE when they get all butthurt and say (any combination of the following):

Have a nice life!
Good Luck Planning!
Your fiance is ugly/fat/stupid
Your fiance must be deaf/blind to have to deal with you
Good luck with your wedding!
Why is someone marrying YOU?

Licia&Wayne · April 2010

That's weird, I love when all of those things are said and I love when people use the word "butthurt".

This thread is my fav thread of all time.

banana468 · April 2010

No one was rude, mean or bitchy.

However referring to the responses as that does teeter on the above.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_rude-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:68124d3c-c86c-495d-82d9-38ac7d5a0fd2Post:9e1ada07-9dbb-460a-b03f-f442e80f6a30">Re: rude bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In general, that's not really appropriate. You catch more flies with honey. Vinegar doesn't work. Being rude to someone when she's rude to you is no way to justify your actions. Rude behavior is always inexcusable.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I agree it's not appropriate (not all the time, anyway), but then again most of the time I don't care. It depends on the person though. My best friend, mom, most family members, I can let a rude comment slip by. My dad's ex-wife, hell will freeze over before she ever speaks to me again the way she used to.

And I disagree that rude behavior is always inexcusable. Some people have done terrible things to others and yet expect that person to still accept them as family or friends, when in reality they deserve nothing but the cold shoulder at a mimimum.

But hey, I can admit that I'm a bitch.

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