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Guests Leaving Early

keltrskeltrs member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have an upcoming wedding. I invited several of my best friends, all of whom are couples, to attend. But recently I found out that one of their mutual friends, who we do not know very well, is having a reception after coming back from their destination wedding on that same night. I also learned that this group of friends will most likely be leaving our wedding early to attend their other friend's reception. This is 3 or 4 couples, with about 80 total guests a our wedding. 

I understand that they want to attend both, but I am worried they will only come to make an appearance at ours, stay for 30 minutes or an hour at our reception, not eat or drink anything, then leave for the next. Should I confront them? I'd almost rather them go after the ceremony, so we don't pay hundreds of dollars for them to be a virtual no show at our reception.
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Re: Guests Leaving Early

  • keltrskeltrs member
    First Comment
    They replied that they would be attending, but latter I was talking to one, and she had mentioned the other reception, and implied that the group of them would coming (and thus) leaving together.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    It will be fine. Your wedding reception will stil go on.
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-leaving-early?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06038f07-4d31-44d3-a20d-eec419d82b47Post:d8df222b-969f-46ff-bad7-8cdd833c3f02">Re: Guests Leaving Early</a>:
    [QUOTE]They replied that they would be attending, but latter I was talking to one, and she had mentioned the other reception, and implied that the group of them would coming (and thus) leaving together.
    Posted by keltrs[/QUOTE]

    Until it actually happens, don't worry about it. 
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  • linguo42linguo42
    100 Comments
    Personally I would find it unbelievably rude if I was approached about something like this. It reminds me of "Father of the Bride" when Steve Martin says, "You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat?"

    You said yourself, they're some of your best friends. It's a shame there's a scheduling conflict and they'll have to duck out early, but if you confront them about this just because you want to save a buck, they're not likely to remain your best friends for much longer.

    If you absolutely must say something, make it positive. Say, "I know you'll be leaving at some point for so-and-so's reception, but I really hope you'll be able to hang around long enough for the speeches/first dance/[insert planned reception highlight here]. It's going to be fantastic!"
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Let it go.

    You will have people leaving early, no shows, people arriving late, etc.  It's part of hosting a party.   No need getting upset over things you can not control and more than likely not even notice..






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    They have the right to leave whenever they want.  There's nothing appropriate you could say to them.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • barrelbabe004barrelbabe004
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    People will leave when they want.  There's really nothing you can do about it.  And honestly on the day of you'll probably hardly even notice.  You'll be too busy celebrating and talking with guests to keep track of who's coming and going.
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I don't know why people are saying you won't notice -- if 10% of your guests, who all happen to be good friends of yours, leave right after dinner, yeah, you'll notice.

    I'd be upset knowing that's the situation, but unfortunately there's nothing you can really do about it -- it makes sense they're going to try to go to both and I'm sure they're not  happy they won't get to fully celebrate with either couple.

    I wouldn't "confront" anybody about anything or ask them not to attend, but I might bring it up in conversation so you know what to expect that night.
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  • bridezillatobe2009bridezillatobe2009 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    what's to get upset about? it's your wedding celebration and another persons wedding celebration. It's not a popularity contest. Would you rather them not come a all? I would be very appriciative that they made the effort to make it to both parties.

    We went to 6 weddings this summer and by the end I was tired of the routine and eating and drinking and cake etc so yea we left a few early. People leave early for tons of reasons (child care, illness, work obligations, etc)
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