Advice...
I just got engaged to the man of my dreams 2 weeks ago. We are planning a wedding on December 3. I have been married before and have a 3 year old little boy. FI has never been married. I am 22 years old and never had a real ceremony. (My first marriage was after i found out about my son and was never a healthy relationship.) Nick and I both want a wedding with attendants (4) and a reception. My one problem is my mom. She is old fashioned to be mild. She keeps telling me it is inappropriate what we are planning and would be embarrassed to send out invitations to her friends. She also does not think it is appropriate for us to have any sort of wedding showers saying its just begging people for gifts. ( I live at home and he is finishing up his masters in a college town, so we really don't have things to start a home) His family is supportive in what we are planning, and my dad is supportive saying that he doesn't necessarily think its appropriate but he wants us to be happy and he has never given me a wedding. My question is how to i work with my mom? I don't want her to be embarrassed of me at my wedding!
Re: Advice...
Your mom needs to lurk on this board. She's stuck in etiquette that has died away. Wedding ceremonies, receptions and showers are not just reserved for the first time bride. They are for any bride, as long as she follows the basic rules of etiquette.
Your mom may not change her way of thinking, so you'd have to decide if that's something you can live with. If so, than move forward with planning a wedding that you and your FI want, and can afford, with the understanding that you won't be sharing a lot of the details with your mom. The upside is, if she's too embarrassed to have her friends invited, your guest list is smaller and you save money!
Good luck and happy planning!
[QUOTE]... <strong>move forward with planning a wedding that you and your FI want, and can afford, with the understanding that you won't be sharing a lot of the details with your mom.</strong> The upside is, if she's too embarrassed to have her friends invited, your guest list is smaller and you save money! Good luck and happy planning!
Posted by mybooboos[/QUOTE]
From what I understand (reading on TK) about brides/grooms whose parents are involved in wedding planning, you may be just fine moving ahead without your mom's input. It is, after all, not her wedding.
Congratulations on your engagement. Happy planning!
Congrats and welcome!!! You are very wise beyond your years, since this is the first board you posted on.............. everyone here is kind and understanding most of the time.
It sounds like you have your Dad on your side, and yes, your Mom is living in the 1950-1960 version of etiquette hell.
I don't think you will embarrass your Mom on your wedding day. I also don't think she's necessarily disappointed that you found a great guy who wants to marry you and share in the life of your son. It really just sounds as though she is stuck in the very old way of thinking. I can relate, as my 80 y/o Mom is not outwardly, overly enthusiastic about my wedding, but then she is REALLY from way back, LOL. However, she knows this is how my fiance and I want to celebrate our wedding, and she is happy for us.
Part of the difficulty for you will be that it doesn't sound as though you and your fiance are in the position to pay for this all by yourselves (unless I'm reading too much between the lines). That means you have to rely on some assistance from others. With that assistance comes some say in how the celebration will be. The money does some of the talking, LOL.
Since it appears his family is supportive, perhaps a "meet and greet" between the 2 sets of parents might be in order. You'll need your Dad on your side for this, so clue him in beforehand. Hopefully once your Mom hears how excited your fiance's family is, and your Dad, she'll come around a bit.
Good luck.