She said WHAT?!?

rfelix14 · July 2010

So I go into my co-worker's office to follow up on a report (she's known to be pretty unpleasant). We chit-chat about work and as I turn to leave she says to me "Oh by the way, so-and-so told me you're getting married next Saturday, congrats" Before I could thank her for the well wishes and get out of there she follows up with " Why do you want to get married anyway? Don't you read about the divorce rates in the news? I mean, when you're dating, the guys are perfect but then each year it just goes downhill after that, it's not worth it. Although I will say that my husband and I have been able to do things as a couple that we couldn't do as single people, you know like quire all the properties we own, have investments that kind of stuff. I guess I'd still be living pay check to paycheck if I were still single. Either way I guess it's better than living life alone"...

I just smiled and said that each year my fiance and I are together just gets better and the only mistake I could make would be to not marry him.

I can't believe some people but you know maybe its a reflection of her own life. If so I feel really sorry for her. !

rfelix14 · July 2010

sorry *acquire*

betrothed123 · July 2010

Neat.

vegasgroom · July 2010

There are definitely a lot of upset people out there who are so pitiful their only way of making themselves happy is by trying to bring others down.

september's bride · July 2010

Some people are just peachy. I think there's one of those in every office...there were two in mine, so if anyone's missing their marriage-hater, just let me know because I have her.

goheels05 · July 2010

Good lord.

Next time correct her about the divorce rate. Divorce rate for first time marriages is much lower than the media would lead you to believe The 50% you hear is ALL marriages, including 3rd marriages which have an 80% divorce rate. And even still, 50% is high because of the way they figure it--their "divorce rate" includes couples where one spouse dies. That's not divorce. I assume that's what she meant. Pet peeve of mine. Carry on.

FutureMrsFraser · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:08f39cff-6f47-446e-b759-1f4ba89f776a">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]There are definitely a lot of upset people out there who are so pitiful their only way of making themselves happy is by trying to bring others down.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Ditto, vegas... he's a smart guy.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2010

I probably would have said something like "Oh, well I'm sorry you feel that way" and left.

It was a little ranty and a little out of line... but it only serves to show you what a miserable slore she is.

I kinda feel bad for her too. And her husband as well, if that's what she thinks marriage is.

FutureMrsFraser · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:d4c73265-5eb5-4bce-974e-69d361d25e3d">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Good lord. Next time correct her about the divorce rate. Divorce rate for first time marriages is much lower than the media would lead you to believe The 50% you hear is ALL marriages, including 3rd marriages which have an 80% divorce rate. And even still, 50% is high because of the way they figure it--their "divorce rate" includes couples where one spouse dies. That's not divorce. I assume that's what she meant. Pet peeve of mine. Carry on.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

Heels, Now I'm wondering what the divorce rate of first marriages is, because I've always heard 50% and never realized that meant ALL marriages.

M&R7111 · July 2010

I know someone who is anti marriage and baby.

I understand that she doesn't want to get married and never what's to have children, but she gets almost offended when she hears one of her friends is having a baby or getting married.

She just can't say anything nice about it! Some people are just miserable. They say they are happy, but then they wouldn't make such a negative fuss about these things.

katiewhompus · July 2010

I got that a lot from people when my engagement came out. "Why would you want to contribute to the political propogranda brainwashing known as marriage?" was my favorite.

I always remember something my Islamic Cultures 111 taught me in college. He had an arranged marriage, and the kids were giving him a hard time. He goes "Tell me, your girlfriend, do you love her?" The kid answers "As much as the first time I saw her." Prof goes "See, that makes me sad. I love my wife more every day I know her, because I learn new things to love. Maybe that's why divorce is so high for your culture, because you only love at the beginning and forget to fall in love every day."

ricksang · July 2010

You should have to her you were a risk taker and that you will take your chances!

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:895fbf24-2b2d-40ca-a5ee-c54672309aa1">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got that a lot from people when my engagement came out. "Why would you want to contribute to the political propogranda brainwashing known as marriage?" was my favorite. I always remember something my Islamic Cultures 111 taught me in college. He had an arranged marriage, and the kids were giving him a hard time. He goes "Tell me, your girlfriend, do you love her?" The kid answers "As much as the first time I saw her." Prof goes "See, that makes me sad. I love my wife more every day I know her, because I learn new things to love. Maybe that's why divorce is so high for your culture, because you only love at the beginning and forget to fall in love every day."
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

That's kinda cool.

goheels05 · July 2010

Here you go:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html

MarriedInAFever · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:895fbf24-2b2d-40ca-a5ee-c54672309aa1">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got that a lot from people when my engagement came out. "Why would you want to contribute to the political propogranda brainwashing known as marriage?" was my favorite. I always remember something my Islamic Cultures 111 taught me in college. He had an arranged marriage, and the kids were giving him a hard time. He goes "Tell me, your girlfriend, do you love her?" The kid answers "As much as the first time I saw her." Prof goes "See, that makes me sad. I love my wife more every day I know her, because I learn new things to love. Maybe that's why divorce is so high for your culture, because you only love at the beginning and forget to fall in love every day."
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I think that's absolutely true and a great way to word it. It's hard after years of being together to keep the love and passion you had in the beginning of the relationship.

ricksang · July 2010

Awww see. My H and I always find out new things about each other. I love that. I also love that we can be silly in front of each other. It's just perfect.

katiewhompus · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:f40c8719-0b70-41a1-801f-eb3bf434069e">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know someone who is anti marriage and baby. I understand that she doesn't want to get married and never what's to have children, but she gets almost offended when she hears one of her friends is having a baby or getting married. She just can't say anything nice about it! Some people are just miserable. They say they are happy, but then they wouldn't make such a negative fuss about these things.
Posted by M&R7111[/QUOTE]

Ugh yes. I understand if people don't want to have kids and won't harp on it, so please don't give me attitude because I want them. Every time I talk about kids with one librarian the other comes over and goes into how selfish it is, how it's horrible for the earth, how kids are stupid, etc. Ok, you don't want them, I get it. Leave me alone wench!

Hellokatie0517 · July 2010

People like that are right up there with people, who upon hearing about your upcoming wedding, say...

"I hope I find someone by then, so I don't have to be dateless at your wedding"

"Maybe one day I'll meet some who I'll want to marry."

Total downers. But yeah, that lady is b*tch.

katiewhompus · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:9ff8065c-2bf5-4f63-ad20-7699fd1fcf8d">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]People like that are right up there with people, who upon hearing about your upcoming wedding, say... "I hope I find someone by then, so I don't have to be dateless at your wedding" "Maybe one day I'll meet some who I'll want to marry." Total downers. But yeah, that lady is b*tch.
Posted by Hellokatie0517[/QUOTE]

Ha, yes! I once got "I wish I could get married at your age, I feel like I've been waiting forever" (she was 29). I was like, "Yeah well, my husband's 35 so imagine how he feels!" She just looked amazed.

stinkerbell6879 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:895fbf24-2b2d-40ca-a5ee-c54672309aa1">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got that a lot from people when my engagement came out. "Why would you want to contribute to the political propogranda brainwashing known as marriage?" was my favorite. I always remember something my Islamic Cultures 111 taught me in college. He had an arranged marriage, and the kids were giving him a hard time. He goes "Tell me, your girlfriend, do you love her?" The kid answers "As much as the first time I saw her." Prof goes "See, that makes me sad. I love my wife more every day I know her, because I learn new things to love. Maybe that's why divorce is so high for your culture, because you only love at the beginning and forget to fall in love every day."
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
That is just such a great response!!

tiffersnc · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:895fbf24-2b2d-40ca-a5ee-c54672309aa1">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got that a lot from people when my engagement came out. "Why would you want to contribute to the political propogranda brainwashing known as marriage?" was my favorite. I always remember something my Islamic Cultures 111 taught me in college. He had an arranged marriage, and the kids were giving him a hard time. He goes "Tell me, your girlfriend, do you love her?" The kid answers "As much as the first time I saw her." Prof goes "See, that makes me sad. I love my wife more every day I know her, because I learn new things to love. Maybe that's why divorce is so high for your culture, because you only love at the beginning and forget to fall in love every day."
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

<div>I love that. Really nicely worded.</div>

katiewhompus · July 2010

I loved the prof, he was the best. Especially because 99% of the Religion majors were uber Christian assholes and spent the entire Islam, Buddhist and Hindu courses trying to convert the professors. He took everything in stride and burned them on their own doctrine on many occasion.

That and he was really nice about if you had to miss class. He would just say "If Allah wills you not to come to class that day, I understand."

kd.joseph · July 2010

Sorry that happened to you, and just shrug it off. Vegas, is right some people are just miserable. And misery loves company.

We have a lady in the office who is kind of bi-polar, and we never know when she is going to go off on one or all of us. Well she picked me 5 minutes before close on my last day before leaving for my wedding out of state.

She blindsided me by saying I basically alienate her from the whole office. And she couldn't work in this environment and would probably be gone when I got back. I just told her I wasn't going to fight with her 5 minutes before I leave to get married.
By the time I got back the boss had talked to her, and now she's like a new person. It's really weird.

Hellokatie0517 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:895fbf24-2b2d-40ca-a5ee-c54672309aa1">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got that a lot from people when my engagement came out. "Why would you want to contribute to the political propogranda brainwashing known as marriage?" was my favorite."
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

My work was looking to fill a position that I thougt FI's friend would be qualified for. I called FI's friend, we discussed the job and I told him I would email him the job posting and then we got off topic. He started asking about our engagement and then proceeded to say how he didn't believe in marriage and thought it was a sham. He didn't think it was possible for 2 people to be in love and stay monogamous. He also insulted Christianity and religion in general and ended it with a short rant about the military. Needless to say, I didn't email him the job posting.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

You know, so what if you end up divorced one day. Look at Al and Tipper Gore. Forty years together and four kids. Would they go back and give that all up? I doubt it. Some people claim they should have never married after they get divorced. Perhaps, if it's a short marriage. But I don't think years of a good thing, especially if it includes kids, can be considered a failure. Highs and lows, baby. I don't want to live my life in a static state.

JennaV26 · July 2010

My old boss used to give me lectures that people "my age" are more likely to get divorced than other married couples and that "men don't reach the maturity level needed to get married untill they are 30," so maybe I should wait to get married.

She was also a crazy old, bitter, lonely, never-been-married woman who loved ruining other people's happiness.

megk8oz · July 2010

I think everybody has that one bitchy/pricky co-worker that hates marriage. And of course, it always happens to be the co-worker that also has no concept of filtering.

I had this one bitter woman in my office who told me on at least once a week from the day I got engaged to not "waste everybody's money on a fancy wedding, since most people your age just end up divorced anyway". We were 25 when we actually got married, paid for the wedding ourselves and spent a fraction of what most people in my area do. You'd seriously think the way she lectured/talked to me, I was still in high school wanting to have a million dollar wedding the day after I graduated.

According to statstics, there's a good chance of all sorts of terrible things will happen to you if you ever leave your house... does that mean you're never supposed to go anywhere or do anything?

spechtholdn · July 2010

I look at everything in life based on something I learned from a statistics teacher. "The probability of something happening might be within less than one percentage point, but the possibility is still always there." With marriage, yes is may be true the divorce rate it high, but you may live a long happy life with your future husband. You can't base not wanting to get married just on the chance of getting a divorce. You never know what life may bring your way. Some people just can't understand that though.

anne.azano · August 2010

I got this gem the other day... "if you knew your parachute had a 50% chance of opening, would you jump?"

Ok, I get it, a lot of marriages end in divorce. if you get divorced you don't die!

vegasgroom · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_she-said?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d314e5cf-e9ec-437e-b67c-132e56efc308Post:dcb72f75-fdef-4b5b-8c0e-dce674c15f47">Re: She said WHAT?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got this gem the other day... "if you knew your parachute had a 50% chance of opening, would you jump?" Ok, I get it, a lot of marriages end in divorce. if you get divorced you don't die!
Posted by anne.azano[/QUOTE]

Plus the fact that you could die is one part of what makes sky diving exciting; that's a little different than marriage lol.

She said WHAT?!?

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