Kids and Dogs

amalama · October 2009

So BF is taking our daughter (who's 3) to see his dad for 4 days at the end of the month. I am staying here because of school. His dad said something to him last time they talked about it about being excited she was older this time and could play with the dog. (It's BF's dog from when he was a kid, the whole family seriously loves the dog).Last year the dog flipped out and bit a kid in the face. The kid needed stitches, I'm not really sure how bad it was besides that. BF says it's not a big deal, he will watch her with the dog, it was his dog as a kid and so gentle, blah blah blah. I'm I unreasonable to think this is not okay? I don't really want her anywhere near this dog.

ac_in_dc · October 2009

It's hard to say without knowing the dog, but it sounds like the kid just needs to be under constant supervision when with the dog. Also, do you generally trust your BF's judgement when it comes to your daughter?

J&K10910 · October 2009

It depends on the reasons the dog bit the kid. Was the kid poking it in the eye? PLaying with its food or toys? If it was seemingly unprovoked, I wouldn't want my kid anywhere near the dog either. If there was a good reason, I'd think with close supervision she'll be ok. And I wouldn't let my kid on the flood with the dog, or anywhere near his food, toys, bed, etc. Then again, I'd never let my 3 year old play closely or unattended with a dog anyway.I think if you have serious concerns, you're completely justified and you guys should have a good chat about it.

danieliza1127 · October 2009

Oh that's a tough situation. Obviously your BF and his family will be really hurt and offended if you don't let her go or if you specify that she can't be around the dog.Could you possibly get more information about the dog biting a kid last year? Maybe there is more to the story that you don't know that might ease your mind about how it happened or how the dog was triggered.

nda_roxybabe · October 2009

Growing up I had a very sweet schnauzer (saki), never had a problem. Well, our family friend came over with her terror of a son who poked and pulled Saki..he got nipped at as a result. I think it will be fine as long as your BF watches her and the dog.

betrothed123 · October 2009

Do you know ALL of the circumstances surrounding the first bite? If the child was poking, prodding, hitting, jumping on, etc the dog, I don't think the dog should be at fault for biting the child. However, if the dog just snapped, yes I'd be wary.

amalama · October 2009

From what I know of the dog biting incident, I don't think anyone saw exactly what happened, but it is assumed the kid provoked the dog. I trust BF, but I also think that he wouldn't be as careful as I would be because the dog doesn't make him nervous. We also haven't had our dog long and still watch our daughter super closely because she still hasn't completely learned what is and isn't okay. And our dog is the gentlest dog in the world so I don't think she would be at all afraid of another dog either. I have seen her try to take a treat back out of our dog's mouth after she gives her one, and our dog doesn't even react. I just don't think she will know how to act with this dog.

amalama · October 2009

Oh wow, and my daughter is 2, not 3. Apparently I can't type today.

ac_in_dc · October 2009

The one thing I would mention to BF is that dogs get more crotchety and snappish as they get older, so even if his family dog was super sweet back in the day, he should supervise more closely than he may think he needs to b/c the dog is probably different now.

amalama · October 2009

Okay sorry, last bit of add on information.BF and his dad didn't speak for about 3 years. His dad is just a jerk and basically kicked him out of his side of the family. Now that they talk again, BF is usually pretty desperate to please him. So it also makes me nervous that even if I say I don't want our daughter playing the dog, if his dad says it's fine and I'm not there, he will side with his dad.

J&K10910 · October 2009

If your daughter is so fearless that she doesn't mind sticking her hands in the dog's mouth when he's eating a treat, I think you and BF definitely need to set some concrete boundaries. Dogs get cranky when they get older, and if they're not used to little kids that's not good either. For example, some boundaries I'd suggest is supervised play time or petting, without your daughter being on the floor with the dog, stay away during meal times and treat times, your daughter probably shouldn't give the dog treats, and stay away when the dog is trying to sleep. That way you minimize situations that might provoke the dog. I think as long as they're being supervised and no food or treats are involved I'd be more comfortable if it was my daughter.

betrothed123 · October 2009

I would talk to your BF about your concerns, but he is going to be her step father, and I'm sure at some point you'll be leaving him alone with her in much more dangerous circumstances. As long as he's never given you cause for concern before, I think you might be going a bit overboard in your concern.

amalama · October 2009

Thanks guys, at least I don't feel like I am being a totally crazy overprotective mother now. I do think I am probably a little too worried about it though. I will talk to him about it again and we will just have to agree on some boundaries. I do know that part of it is just the fact that I won't be there. If I was the one supervising I would feel a lot more comfortable, but I just have to trust him to be careful too.

vicmo5 · October 2009

I think that as long as your bf watches your daughter and the dog when they are together it should be fine. My aunt and uncle used to have the sweetest golden retriever/yellow lab mix they got before their son was born. She used to catch rabbits and just hold them in her mouth and cuddle them and then let them go when she was finished (I'm sure the poor bunnies did not think this was so sweet). Anyway, they used to let B play on the floor with her and he pulled on her ears and be generally annoying. One day she snapped on him and mauled his face. He was less than a year old. They felt so awful and stupid because they had to put her down. It was tragic.

amalama · October 2009

Oh and Betrothed he is her father.

betrothed123 · October 2009

Oh and Betrothed he is her father. My bad, sorry. All the more weight added to my previous post, though. If he's her father, he should be trusted to take care of her and protect her.

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