DESTINATION WEDDING FEEDBACK

nannewmur · October 2009

I hope there are some MOB or MOG out there who can offer some feedback.DD thinks she and FI would like a beach/destination wedding. I am trying to think of the best way to research this. I have several questions I will try to make it short!1) Nearest beach is 7+ hrs away. What is best way to reseach location, besides posting on the locations board? I don't know of anyone who has had a DW.2) How many times did you visit location before wedding?3) Did you have a at home reception, and if so, how far after the wedding was it scheduled? If you had a DD, what did she wear to reception?4) When it was all said and done, what were your thoughts on a DW? Do it again, not do it again and why?5) Did it cost a lot more for the DW then having a local wedding and reception?We are just starting to explore this idea and your thoughts are very much appreciated! TIA

New MIL · October 2009

Well, I was the mother of the groom and the destination was Italy, not the beach but. . .2. none3. They had an AHR about 2 weeks after the wedding (following their honeymoon)4. Would do it again in a heart beat- but there were only 8 of us there including the bride and groom. It was so relaxed and stress free5. They stayed within the budget her parents gave them so I guess it was about the same

kmmssg · October 2009

You might want to also check with the girls on the destination wedding board!

handfast4me · October 2009

I had a beach wedding (my second marriage) 18 months ago. It was a GREAT decision. It depends on the beach, what type of ceremony, etc. Here are the pros for a destination beach wedding (and there's a beach wedding board, too): Less formal, can cost less (our beach was free, but many are not) the dress I wore was inexpensive, he wore linen pants and shirt. Some will not be able to attend (this is a pro and a con) because of the travel. The pro is that if you do a reception on the beach or at a restaurant close by, that will cost less due to the lesser number of guests. The con is there will be fewer guests. There are lots of resorts with "package deals" and in many places, it does cost less than an at home package at a hotel, but now always. Another pro is no decor at the ceremony site--the beach is all you need. Con is, if you have guests, (we didn't, it was just the two of us) you'll need to have chairs, probably, and maybe the couple will want an arch or something similar. A beach/destination wedding doesn't always mean in the home state, or nearby, so you'll want to ask your DD where they planned to do this-and they'll need to research the laws regarding applying for a license, etc. Let me know if you have any other questions. The big answer here is "it depends"--sorry for being less specific. My big piece of advice is to go onto the beach wedding board and look at the ideas--or search on the Real Weddings archive on The Knot and look for other weddings on beaches to get an idea of what the possibilites are. Oh, and one more piece of advice since my DD just got married--it's THEIR wedding, and they should be allowed to, and may insist on, the type of wedding they want. Now, whether you contribute financially, is up to you.

Another MOB · October 2009

My daughter had a destination wedding in February. Because she wanted to make it affordable for all and all-inclusive resorts were very pricey at that time of year, she ended up doing a cruise. They got married on Grand Cayman at the Grand Old House. We had a cocktail reception there after the ceremony on the beach. Once back on the ship, we had another cocktail reception in a private room. We then took over one of the ala carte restaurants for dinner. I am a control freak, but I soon realized that I could not control what I couldn't see. I had to trust the people I was working with. Fortunately the travel agent is a good friend and was very helpful so I was able to concentrate on the fun things. There was no stress and everyone had a fabulous time! It was just like a wonderful vacation. It surpassed my DD dreams. I would do it again in a heartbeat -- no hesitation. Because forty people came on the cruise, there were some perks provided by the ship, such as the cocktail reception. In addition, we received credits. So on the ship, we paid the ala carte $ for dinner ($15 per person) and the alcohol that evening. We also paid for the cocktail reception at the Grand Old House. We then had an AHR in early June at our house for about 110 people. We are now in the midst of planning our son's wedding. It will be a more traditional wedding and probably more stressful. Good luck!

nannewmur · October 2009

Thank you all for your replies! It sounds like it was a positive experience and there are definitely some great benefits. I guess I have so many questions and just need to go into research mode. And, handfast, you are so right-it is their wedding and although my husband and I will contribute financially, we have already had our wedding and this is THEIR wedding! That is an excellent point!! ANd the point about decor was something I thought about and you are right-many beaches are so beautiful that no decor is needed!Since I have never been to or know of anyone IRL who had a DW, I am a little apprehensive! She is our only daughter and I guess when you have a daughter, you often invision the church wedding! Thank you ladies for helping me!

handfast4me · October 2009

You're a good mom! I probably misinterpreted your original post, I thought that maybe you were trying to talk them out of their plans, much like my daughter's MIL tried to change EVERYTHING about my DDs and her son's plans. Eventually the kids ran to the courthouse, and I held an at home reception for them.

Kristin789 · October 2009

Well, most brides go through a phase where they think they want a DW. For a lot of reasons. But few actually choose to do a DW. Often these are young brides/grooms, and their grandparents and older relatives are still alive but unable to fly off to Rome or Cabo or somewhere for the wedding, so they choose not to do a DW. Other brides/grooms realize that the people who are not invited to the DW but who ARE invited to a home reception later, just won't come to the home reception. Because it looks like a gift collection announcement, as if to say that the guest wasn't close enough to be included in the DW but certainly is close enough to get a killer gift and drop it off at this makeshift home reception/gift collection thing.

handfast4me · October 2009

Hmm, Kristin, I respectfully disagree. I had a DW, and we were planning an AHR, but we just didn't have time. ALL of our friends kept asking us when we were doing something, and we got gifts, even though we never did the AHR. (Of course I'm not young, either, and it was just the two of us on the beach--no guests, no attendants.) I think that what happens is that these younger couples would do it MORE if 1) the parents didn't hold the purse strings and 2) in the case of Catholicism, because they don't allow ceremonies outside the church. The Destination Weddings are incredibly romantic. And a "makeshift" reception, as you call it, well, I can't help but object to that. I threw one for my daughter, and we certainly did not EXPECT anyone to bring gifts. But so many people love my daughter, (she's a great kid despite me being her mother! LOL!) that they wanted to show her how they feel about her.

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