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BM Vent

Rissa933Rissa933
10 Comments
in New Jersey - South
Ok it is sooooo hard to vent about BM things becuase the FI will get pissed at them and all of my friends are in the wedding...so I thank everyone for letting me vent here. I have very strong personailities in my BM's and MOH's (more than I am) and I can not understand why if the bride asks you to do or buy something why there are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many questions of me the bride. I am trying NOT TO become a "bridezilla" but i now see why and how it can happen. I have asked since about March or so to have girls go pick out a dress, get measurements and put down a deposit i gave them the deadline of Oct 18 to do it all. and there are girls who are not doing it and/or complaining that I did things way too early and they don't understand why they needed to order them so far in advnace (for my May wedding) I have the bridal salon telling me don't wait and they need to be in by the end of this month well but in my bridesmaids eyes what is the big rush.....becuase I am the bride and i say so and I don''t want someone just getting a dress 1 week before the wedding and when I said that they had the nerve to say that what would be the big deal if they got it tha soon. oooooooooo I could scream (well I did scream alone in the house ) I am the bride and i say so why question everything when it is your wedding do what you want....i was just in a wedding in sept and the bride had the order in in december and the dress came in in may which is fine because then you have to give people time in dragging their feet to go and pay for it.....thanks for letting me vent
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Re: BM Vent

  • nygirl07nygirl07 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Vent away!!  I don't even know what to tell you to do, that stinks that they are being so difficult.  I would say just blame it on the dress shop and say they keep calling and need them over their to get measured ASAP.....I know our bridal shop wouldn't order any of the girls dresses until ALL of the girls put a deposit so if they are holding up the hold order you have to put your foot down. Good Luck!!
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  • NatandDanNatandDan
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you're going through this.  It happens.  But my only real advice for you is... Do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT pay for their deposits.  I never had to do this but I know of girls who have done this and they NEVER got the money back and/or it caused problems later on.  So if they are unable to pay, tell them you cant front the cost for them so they'll have to figure out another way to pay. 
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  • demarcosjddemarcosjd
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't apologize for venting we all have those breaking moments. Here is what I did with my girls and I don't know if it will work for you. Luckily they were all excited to buy their dresses so that wasn't a big deal. Until you are planning a wedding people don't realize how far in advance that things need to be done. I told them that in order for us to get a discount on a dress they all had to be present to order the dresses that day! They all showed up and dresses were ordered. We also found out that majority of manufacturers shut down for the month of Dec. We ordered them 2 weeks ago and were told that they might not get them until March. I wasn't chancing it because after ordering a BM dress in February for a wedding in 2 weeks we just got them back a few weeks ago and now everyone is rushing around for alterations. After hearing that they were really happy that we went early. I agree with pp say the salon is calling you for the order. If they are not calling in and sending measurements on their own try and pick a day to have them go to the salon with you. You can also turn it into a lunch afterwards and catch up or discuss other wedding plans. HTH and hope your girls get their act together!
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  • larrysdarlinglarrysdarling member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Dude, paragraph breaks are your friend.Let's put it this way: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. If you've been working on this since March (7 months ago) and it's not working, it might be time to take a different approach.The non bridezilla approach to this could be:1. You pick the dress yourself. It's your job. It's your wedding.2. Just tell them to go get measured. They can do it for free at a dry cleaner that has a tailor in it.3. Tell them they need to have their measurements and deposit in the amount of $xx to you by XX date.You're making it too hard on them.   Also, it's a tough economy right now. People not have the $$ so quickly up front. BM dresses take way less time then bridal dresses. See if you have any flexibility with the due date, find it cheaper somewhere else, or pick a cheaper dress if $$ is a problem.Chill. Out. It's not supposed to be this hard.
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  • Rissa933Rissa933
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies for letting me vent......
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