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Talk show ish!

miss2mrscjmiss2mrscj
500 Comments
in African American Weddings
I have a associate who is getting married in less than 30 days. Let's call her Kim. Kim has a godsister who I walk with everyday. We'll call her Tee. Well Tee and her mom found out from a person who attends  Kim and FI's church that Kim's FI use to have a lover and the lover died last year. Now Tee and her mom has known this for about 4 months but have failed to tell Kim. To be honest I have seen Kim's FI and dude is a little sweet! So....yesterday while Tee and I are on our walk she states that her mom and 2 of her friends decided to write a letter to tell Kim that FI is gay! How crazy is this. Can you believe that these fools but the note on these people car yesterday!! I was appauled!!! I can't believe someone would ruin someone else's wedding day! What if this man isn't gay? What if he's just feminine? Lord I feel so sorry for this girl. I've decided to keep my distance from Tee! I think this is just pure messyness!! (If that's a word) LOL...I just had to share with y'all. I'm just bothered. Did I mention they went to the church and put the note on the car?
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Re: Talk show ish!

  • MrsW2000MrsW2000
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oooh that's a bit much.  If they felt like she really needed to know why not tell it to her in person?  And who's to say that Kim doesn't know about this already?  She may be well aware of her FI's past.  But then again what did his lover die from?  If it was AIDS than that may have called for a talk (in person) with Kim.  I don't know Miss2mrs.  That one may depend on the situation.  I know I wouldn't have left a note on her car though. 
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  • MypasmitaMypasmita
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    edited December 2011
    wow!
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  • MIABRIDENTAMPAMIABRIDENTAMPA
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Whoa!! Is all I can say. No words............
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  • miss2mrscjmiss2mrscj
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ladies I have been pondering over this all night! I'm really upset about this. I guess the saying is true misery loves company! Tee's mom was cheated on for about 40 years by her hubby until he left her for a younger woman. And Tee's man just left her for another woman too after being together for 10 years! I say these two are bitter a jealous. My mom said I should expect a letter on my big day too!!! LOL
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  • braxtongirlbraxtongirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow! She definitely needs to know but the note is something else before she made a decision with knowing. I am so mad that they waited 4 months until now its only 1 month away from wedding date. That sucks. I would have to disown them for not being honest with me if I were her.
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  • blue19violetblue19violet member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    They obviously went about sharing this with her the wrong way - total jerks on that end. But, I think they did the right thing by telling her. I'm not sure if their motives were right (based on what I'm hearing from you), but the outcome was good. If this dude had a lover who died of something that she could possibly contract then she needs to know. What she does with it is her business. If that was me and I considered this girl fam, I'd want to do whatever I can to protect her. Just like I'd want people who claim to care about me to do the same.
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  • the catthe cat
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is so immature. **frowning my face** If Tee can't talk with her Godsister on such a sensitive issue, then she sure shouldn't be spreading it to other people. It's not the right/mature thing to do. She obviously has no real cares or feelings for Tee...and Kim's mom is no better. It seems as though they see this as funny, when in fact, it's very serious. I guess they've never met the chic called Karma. When they do meet her, they'll wish they never had.
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  • winter443winter443 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    OMG! That is terrible! If they were really concerned about her well being they should have talked to her about it when they first found out this information.  I can't believe they wait until less than a month before the wedding and then to leave a note on the car? Who does that?
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  • Ladysun083Ladysun083
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    WOW, that was completely wrong, a note? Seriously? And if you felt the need to HAVE to tell her why wouldnt you just tell her that when you initially found out.  That is just a mess and even worst its not information that they personally came across its Heirsay (sp)
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  • miss2mrscjmiss2mrscj
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've been thinking and I think the way the went about this was all wrong! They could have called her on the phone told her face to face or better yet got Kim & FI together to discuss the matter since that's her Godmother!  Yes dude is feminine however he could just have feminine ways! Hell nobody caught him in the bed with another man! They are just miserable
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  • mahoganieyesmahoganieyes
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If it was me, I would like to know if he use to mess with another man, even before we met. This man has a high risk behavior and she should atleast be aware of it. She might know, who's to say? I would do something like that face-to face and let her know. A real friend would have said something months ago and not wait till a month before.


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  • nubiannqweennubiannqween
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That's a hot mess. Yea, I'd stay as far away from that situation as possible.
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  • MrClintonsFirstLady09MrClintonsFirstLady09
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh wow! That's all  I can say to this one. That's wrong as hell. Wow.
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  • KimRhoneKimRhone
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Dang, that is some talk show ish. There is a better way she should have been told. What if she does know about it? What if she chooses to stay even if he is "gay"? Some things people just need to keep to themselves. If Tee was such a good friend to Kim then why didn't she say something sooner to Kim??
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  • mrzsprinklezmrzsprinklez member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My ex was bisexual and i didnt know it and lord knows i wish someone had told me before i married this man and had a child with this man. That being said, they went about it the absolute wrong way. To leave a note on that girl's car like that was childish, irresponsible, and just plain mean. If they really believed that the rumor was true then they should have been woman enough to come to her with it in person. Personally, if someone left that kind of note on my car, I would have been hurt but I wouldn't have taken too much stock in it. I would have probably written it off as a jealous ex or something like that. I think that I would have actually considered the validity of the rumor if a close friend or family member had actually told me. To me, these females sound messy as hell and you're right to stay away from them. And they're trifilin as hell for doing that mess at church. They're going straight to hell with gasoline draws on!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That is just plain TACKY!!! Church people I tell u, that is y the church has a bad name!! I feel sorry for your friend o because she is probably about to make a big mistake and i think maybe she does already have some idea. I dated a guy one time and I had doubts about him, he told me his exwife was gay I believe maybe they both was (even the friend he had seemed gay) I am not going to say what else he did to put the icing on the cake but I left him alone!!!!! He definitely became a friend!!!I hope this young lady can dig deep and find the right answer she needs :)
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