Prenup?

evenundomiel · January 2012

Are any of you getting a prenup?

I'm kinda obsessed with Anderson Cooper. On his daytime show he's had several episodes about various money topics. Every single expert has said the best thing you can do as an adult is get a prenup.

This started me thinking, do I need a prenup? My FI and I both work for my family company. We're a national desinaion commerce company (websites, papers, etc).

Thoughts?

arauchte · January 2012

I don't think FI and I are going to do that. He is a teacher and I am trying to be a teacher. We don't make enough money to have one I think. We would both be making similar salaries (once I can find a job in PA)

mandydc0509 · January 2012

We're not getting one. We both agreed that if we felt the need to get a prenup that we probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place. But that's just us - our attitude is that way because of what we've seen in our own families and social circles. I do understand why people with large/profitable business, assets, etc would want to protect their investment.

bpphoto785 · January 2012

We are not because the only thing we own is a lot of debt! Gotta love those student loans!

If either of us had anything of value (house/land, stock, a business) we might discuss it, but for us there's no need.

LBug24 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_prenup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:7dca96c6-29e8-4c2a-8758-7290ef607596Post:30990e90-cd6b-4989-a0ac-aa87dd52e6a6">Re: Prenup?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're not getting one. We both agreed that if we felt the need to get a prenup that we probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place. But that's just us - our attitude is that way because of what we've seen in our own families and social circles. I do understand why people with large/profitable business, assets, etc would want to protect their investment.
Posted by mandydc0509[/QUOTE]

<div>This..</div><div>But again, just our personal opinions :). Money is certainly not something either of us have a lot of, nor is it something I value too much.</div>

levanlaere · January 2012

We are actually looking into it. My fiance makes nearly three times as much as me and wants to protect his business if things go sour. I understand this and not offended since I have been previously divorced. I could definately see having a prenup. I not only would want him to protect his assests that he has worked hard for but I would also make sure I am not taken advantage of as well and kicked to the curb with nothing. I think it is better to plan for the worse and that way if (lets hope never) things go south at least we would have something that was planned with a level head instead of fighting with emotions to get even with one another.

I am not sure if this makes any sense to anyone else but it is what works for me. We haven't taken any steps toward this yet though.

Flowerstar1023 · January 2012

We're not going for it. Maybe we're being naive, but we're both professionals in the healthcare industry. I have more salary potential but at this point also have a lot more student loan debt.

Cackle6 · January 2012

If FI asked for one, I'd be fine with it since he makes a crapload more that I do, and I wouldn't be offended at all. But since he hasn't asked me for one, I'm assuming that means he doesn't want one.

careydes · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_prenup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:7dca96c6-29e8-4c2a-8758-7290ef607596Post:b61e3950-b832-4d79-80ea-4cad63437aa4">Re: Prenup?</a>:
[QUOTE]If FI asked for one, I'd be fine with it since he makes a crapload more that I do, and I wouldn't be offended at all. But since he hasn't asked me for one, I'm assuming that means he doesn't want one. :)
Posted by Cackle6[/QUOTE]

This exactly. We discussed it briefly, because some friends of ours were thinking about it. I let FI know that it's completely up to him... he's bringing a lot more financially, and personal possession-wise to the marriage, so if he would feel better with a prenup, I would understand.

He doesn't feel it's necessary, so we're not. I'm glad we talked about it though..

LDW0225 · January 2012

We are not, as PP already said, we don't have much to get a prenup for. I also believe that if we need one then we shouldn't be getting married anyways. But, that's just me. If we had a lot of money, owned a house or something along those lines it might be a discussion but we will not be getting one.

mancila60 · January 2012

We have several things that should require a prenup example: my parents own their oen business that I work for, we live in my grandmothers house, FMIL has money that is put up for FI, plus FMIL's investments she made, and then I will make more than FI. FMIL asked me to sign one and I told her no. I feel like you go into a marriage for love and if you feel the need to have one then somewhere you have trust issues. This is just my opinion! My FI agrees that if he needed one he would have asked but since he didn't then he obviously trusts me enough and I trust him enough to be able to work things out IF something went wrong. We also don't want to sign one and then heaven forbid something happen to his mom and due to the prenup we not be able to use any of that money on bills we may have because that would be using it to benefit me. And also vice versa with the business. That's just our opinion it wasn't right for us and our situation and beliefs.

classykat22 · January 2012

We are not planning on doing one either. We both own our homes and I am not sure if I will sell mine or just rent it...and our incomes or not that different from one another. Also, I have been divorced as well and when that marriage ended, I had no desire to be mean or nasty in regards to any aspect of the divorce so...I can't imagine my personality would be any different should things turn bad.

AurorasEnvy · January 2012

I don't think they are a bad idea, but at this point in our lives I don't think there is much point to one for us. Based on every study or article on divorce rates I've ever read, FI and I have a very low statistical probability of getting divorced - I think there was like a 6% chance or something on a risk assessor we looked at awhile ago after they took into considering our education history, career choice, age at which we're getting married, etc etc. We both do the same thing so have the same earning potential. At this point in our lives, we really don't own anything to fight over besides our house and 1 car (and a lot of student loan debt!). I guess you never really know what can happen, but at this point I'm willing to take the "risk" of not having one. I can see where you'd want one if you were wealthy, though - look at Tiger Wood's and Kobe Bryant's exes! Set for life!

toothpastechica · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_prenup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:7dca96c6-29e8-4c2a-8758-7290ef607596Post:30990e90-cd6b-4989-a0ac-aa87dd52e6a6">Re: Prenup?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>We're not getting one. We both agreed that if we felt the need to get a prenup that we probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place</strong>. But that's just us - our attitude is that way because of what we've seen in our own families and social circles. I do understand why people with large/profitable business, assets, etc would want to protect their investment.
Posted by mandydc0509[/QUOTE]

I echo this. We have talked about how divorce is not an option for us unless theres phsycial or sexual abuse. If i thought there was even a remote possibility of either of these I wouldn't be willing to get married in the first place. I don't judge anyone who does feel the need, but I feel that for us, if we can't promise to not get divorced, we shouldn't be promising to death do us part.

Lyra1020 · January 2012

This hadn't even crossed my mind. I guess I'm not really worried?

COSmitty · January 2012

Nope. We talked about it but I told FI if he needed it then I wouldn't see it as us coming together merging all our stuff as a family (of 2 for now).

I can see when it's later in life, with estates, with significant financial differences, etc.

But I know that if I work less to take care of little ones or if he keeps wanting those cars- well those are joint decisions and we rise or fall as a couple. Plus neither of us are bring any debt into the marraige except his mortgage and that will soon be ours. We both have assets, we both have earning potential, we both have retirement accounts and going forward we'll have joint decisions.

LuckyHeather · January 2012

Hi mother suggested it to us (we've both been married/divorced before and his ex-wife had built up a lot of debt he didn't know about), so we talked about it. We even went through one example we found online and after talking about it we decided not to do it.

We both make about the same. We both have about the same in assets and savings. I don't believe in credit cards (if I want something I usually save up to get it). He has a few credit cards, but he always pays them off quickly. We just decided we didn't need it.

mandi921vh · January 2012

We will not be having a prenup because neither one of makes substantially more money than the other. I think it only makes sense when the couple makes a lot of money, or one makes more than the other, or one has a ton of family money. It does seem silly to get married and have a "plan" for when you get divorced but at the same time it is smart considering lots of marriages end in divorce. Marriage is about love but it's also about the joining and merging of assets.

kimberlykh · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_prenup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:7dca96c6-29e8-4c2a-8758-7290ef607596Post:b61e3950-b832-4d79-80ea-4cad63437aa4">Re: Prenup?</a>:
[QUOTE]If FI asked for one, I'd be fine with it since he makes a crapload more that I do, and I wouldn't be offended at all. But since he hasn't asked me for one, I'm assuming that means he doesn't want one. :)
Posted by Cackle6[/QUOTE]

This! I have some friends who have gotten them and it works or them. Actually, we did briefly discuss it, and he said he doesn't want one.

RivieraBound · January 2012

I asked him if we should have one (he makes a lot more than me plus will be inheriting some land and a house) and he said absolutely not. He is in the "if you need one you shouldnt be getting married camp" too. I wouldnt have been offended if he wanted one though.

dshortya · February 2012

We are going to do one for the purposes of my condo only. We are buying a house together and incase I would have to let the condo go if we cannot rent it, it will only be my responsibility and hurt only my credit and not both of ours.

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