Before my fiance proposed my cousin had brought up being in the wedding if he ever proposed.  I said yes.  Then when he did propose I was stuck.  My cousin and I talk sometimes, but every time we talk she puts me down...saying that I am too controlling for my fiance and that he deserves better.  She says she's joking, but it bothers me and I've told her that.  I invited her down a few weeks ago (she lives an hour away) to hang out with my friends.  She did...stayed an hour and left. Later she told me that she hated my friends and that couldn't get along with them.  She has also complained about the price of everything.  I don't want her to be a bridesmaid, but don't know how to tell her.  I talked to my parents about it and they told me to tell her honestly.  Is there a way to do this or should I keep her in the wedding??Thanks so much!!!

Re: Help!!

  • edited December 2011
    Does she currently think she is a bridesmaid? Have you or her mentioned anything about her being a bridesmaid since the engagement? If so, then I think you need to be direct and say that you can have or only want so many people in the wedding and unfortunately, she isn't in that list. If she is under the assumption she is a bm, you should probably correct before things get out of hand. And even if she is not, it may be better to address that you once had a conversation, but that you and your fiance have talked things over and have made a decision to do things a certain way. Try not to burn any bridges, type thing. Perhaps she can be an attendant, or a reader? A reader would have a small role but is still included in the special people of the wedding. I would say however, if you don't want her in the wedding, then DONT have her be in it. You really want your closest friends and family by you who will make your day a happy day. I am little confused as to why you said yes in the beginning if you knew her habits.... how long ago was this conversation?
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