this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion

Multiple Shower Invites and a wedding gift?

anc0108anc0108
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
My future sister-in-law is getting married this year and is having three showers and a bridesmaid luncheon, I should also mention that I am a bridesmaid.  I am invited to all four of these events and gifting etiquette has not been discussed so I feel that I should gift at each shower.  However, I was told by the host of the bridesmaid luncheon that gifting wouldn't be necessary because this is when she gives us our gift. 

My question is, If I am attending three showers and I am buying gifts for all three, do I also gift at the wedding?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Multiple Shower Invites and a wedding gift?

  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    That is a lot of gift giving! I personally would either get three small gifts or one big gift to give to her at one of the showers. Then a small wedding gift. Especially as a member of the briday party, you end up spending extra $$ on attire, so don't feel obligated to give more than you can.
    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The bm luncheon is given in honor of the bms. There's no need for you to bring anything to that.

    The MOB, MOG, bms and usually the sisters of the B&G receive courtesy invites to all showers. You may choose which ones, if any,  you want to attend. It's not necessary to bring a gift to each shower, but if you feel like you must, choose inexpensive gifts or ask the other bms if they would like to chip for one nice item from the bride's registry. And if you and the other bms are throwing one of those shower, that is the gift, no need to purchase something else on top of that.
                       
    Report Reply
  • Megbo2012Megbo2012
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If you feel you must give a gift at each shower, I would do what pps said and maybe get small items for each. Perhaps you could find things that are connected together? An apron for one, matching pot holder for another? I would still probably get a fairly nice gift for the wedding though. Personally I'd rather give one nice shower gift and a nice wedding gift. Your presence alone at the others is gift enough! She would never expect for you to have to give a gift at each, but as a BM it's definitely proper that you be invited to all I think.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Film Sneak Peek!
    Report Reply
  • MrshannahboydenMrshannahboyden
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was going through the same thing with my cousin's wedding! So, remember to ust breathe :) Ok so here's what I did:

    1. I went to ALL the showers. Just because I love playing the games and seeing the different people mingle and have fun

    2. I bought things off my cousin's registry that kind of matched a theme. I got her a pizza stone, pizza cutter w/ sauce ladle and apron . And I gave her one at each shower, so I wouldn't feel bad. 

    3. I got her and her now Husband a gift certificate of $25 to their registry store for the wedding. 

    I hope this helped! My advice: don't spend what you don't have or feel obliged to do anything you're not comfortable with. :)

    Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot! Wedding Countdown Ticker http://hannahandalec.weebly.com/ My Planning Bio-Updated 9/18
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You could do some of the ideas above. Getting small stuff that all have the same theme. Or you could do just one large present. I am sure she will understand. And as far as the bridesmaid lunch, you do not bring a gift. You do not need to buy that many gifts! 
    Report Reply
  • anc0108anc0108
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies so much for all of the advice!  It's a tricky situation because I figured by now they would have addressed the gifting etiquette.  I have heard multiple stories where the bride tells the wedding party that gifts aren't expected and that showing up is enough.  However, in my case I don't think it will be discussed.  Good think I LOVE giving gifts and I find enjoyment out of wrapping!

    I really appreciate all of these good ideas and now I just have to figure out which one works best for the situation!Laughing
    Report Reply
  • halseyhhalseyh
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I got married a year ago and had one really big bridal shower so I got alot of good gifts. At one point my mother and my grandmother reminded me that the people at the shower were not obligated to bring a gift to the wedding. Although I was not  expecting other people to gift me twice it I was however wrapped up in everything else and it was a friendly reminder to me that I shouldn't expect as much. So basically if you bring to any shower you don't need to bring to the wedding. Plus inviting you to all of the showers probably wasn't a ploy to get a bunch of gifts from you, your bride is probably just making sure that as a bridesmaid you are included in all the wedding festivaties.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards