Rude post

TheBaysideBride · February 2013

I would love to see a bunch of knotties at a wedding....just exclaiming "This is rude! That is rude! Your head table offends me! I wanted a plus one, ruddie rudester! You're seeking atteention, you rude white dress wearing mistress of rude! Rude! Rude! Rude!"

Please excuse the rude post

kaos16 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:975da6e4-cecf-4cc5-8644-0c02926c04ee">Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to see a bunch of knotties at a wedding....just exclaiming "This is rude! That is rude! Your head table offends me! I wanted a plus one, ruddie rudester! You're seeking atteention, you rude white dress wearing mistress of rude! Rude! Rude! Rude!" Please excuse the rude post :)
Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

like the wedding guests are doing behind the bride and groom's back because they didn't heed the helpful advice of concerned knotties?

MrsMack10612 · February 2013

Actually, most Knotties have enough class to not say a word to the bride or groom. T

They'll just come vent about it here.

SlothGoals · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:975da6e4-cecf-4cc5-8644-0c02926c04ee">Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to see a bunch of knotties at a wedding....just exclaiming "This is rude! That is rude! Your head table offends me! I wanted a plus one, ruddie rudester! You're seeking atteention, you rude white dress wearing mistress of rude! Rude! Rude! Rude!" Please excuse the rude post :)
Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

<div>What a peach. </div><div>
</div><div>Putting a smiley face on the end of your post doesn't make it funny/cute/whatever it is you're trying to do here.</div>

harper0813 · February 2013

Isn't it better to be called rude anonymously online than by family and friends to your face (or behind your back!) when you don't heed good advice?

Sure, sometimes the advice comes off as harsh, but people here mean well.

AdeleDazeem · February 2013

I'd rather hear my idea was rude here than have Aunt Millie discussing me behind my back. And it happens. It doesn't matter how much someone loves you; if you're rude, you're rude. And someone is talking about it.

TheBaysideBride · February 2013

Instead of rude, it's occasionally OK to just think to yourself, "Ok, that's what worked for them...." or once in a while, like if a name is misspelled on an invite, "they did the best they could reviewing 300 names, this isn't a personal offense."

A head table can be not your first choice, or inconvenient, but it's hard to call a table of your best friends at a wedding you're hosting "rude."

a purposeful fart in an enclosed space is rude. Talking on the phone during dinner is rude. Sitting your closest friends together on the biggest night of your life isn't rude.

Maggie0829 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:a13f22d4-2be6-4f61-b770-ce54d34e8247">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]Instead of rude, it's occasionally OK to just think to yourself, "Ok, that's what worked for them...." or once in a while, like if a name is misspelled on an invite, "they did the best they could reviewing 300 names, this isn't a personal offense." A head table can be not your first choice, or inconvenient, but it's hard to call a table of your best friends at a wedding you're hosting "rude." a purposeful fart in an enclosed space is rude. Talking on the phone during dinner is rude. <strong>Sitting your closest friends together on the biggest night of your life isn't rude.
</strong>Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

But purposefully separating them from their SOs is.

KatWAG · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:a13f22d4-2be6-4f61-b770-ce54d34e8247">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]Instead of rude, it's occasionally OK to just think to yourself, "Ok, that's what worked for them...." or once in a while, like if a name is misspelled on an invite, "they did the best they could reviewing 300 names, this isn't a personal offense." A head table can be not your first choice, or inconvenient, but it's hard to call a table of your best friends at a wedding you're hosting "rude." a purposeful fart in an enclosed space is rude. Talking on the phone during dinner is rude. Sitting your closest friends together on the biggest night of your life isn't rude.
Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

You are completely missing the point. You arent considering your guests comfort and perferences, only your own.

And B-listing is never okay.

AdeleDazeem · February 2013

Ah, but you are looking at things like the bride and groom are the king and queen and have every right to be selfish on their wedding.

You won't find that attitude is supported here at all.

This board promotes that proper hosting is far more important than anything else. You've invited these people to witness your ceremony and the reception is your gift to them (that is true, by the way - a reception is a thank you to your guests). It is not a party to fete the bride and groom's awesomeness. Therefore etiquette - that is to say proper manners and putting your guests' comfort before yours - is held in high regard on this board and most boards on The Knot.

The ceremony is all about the bride and groom. The reception? That's for everyone else. That is how it got its name - the bride and groom receive their guests.

MrsMack10612 · February 2013

It is if you separate them from their SOs. Contrary to what scribe seems to think, people do prefer to sit with their BF/GF, FI, H.

TheBaysideBride · February 2013

haha sorry guys didn't mean to stir the pot further, I just had the hilarious image in my mind of someone running through a wedding declaring everything rude.
I know the input is well intentioned. And not rude.

since we're a few months away from the seating chart, I will DEFINITELY stear clear of the head table

Salsera29 · February 2013

Personally I am beyond grateful that I found these boards before I did anything to make my guests uncomfortable. You may not be happy with the delivery, but the advice is solid.

antibride2013 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:1d34777c-e77d-4657-a2a8-d5c98fd90f7c">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Actually, most Knotties have enough class to not say a word to the bride or groom.</strong> T They'll just come vent about it here.
Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

Yes everyone on here is very classy, however if I am doing something wrong, and no one tells me, I can't fix it. I would much rather have a friend/guest/stranger on the internet set me in the right direction to avoid people talking behind my back.

If for the majority of the population agree whatever you are planning on doing is rude, then the majority of friend/guest/and family are going to think it is rude as well. Taking advice for the ladies here may not be what you want to hear, but most of them are absolutely correct.

zizibet · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:23f0e502-de36-418a-a803-dafa9ddd917e">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, so now I got pulled into a completely seperate thread that someone else posted because I dare to have a different opinion? All I said it is is not out of the realm of possibility that a wedding party member might prefer for one evening to sit with their close friends the bride and groom if they don't get to see them very often and they know their SO is fine with it.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]Fr
I doubt the SO is really fine with it-more likely just trying not to start an argument. Also, generally the B&G are busy with other guests, cake cutting, etc. that they aren't spending that much time at the table anyway.

MrsMack10612 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:23f0e502-de36-418a-a803-dafa9ddd917e">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, so now I got pulled into a completely seperate thread that someone else posted because I dare to have a different opinion? All I said it is is not out of the realm of possibility that a wedding party member might prefer for one evening to sit with their close friends the bride and groom if they don't get to see them very often and they know their SO is fine with it.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

But you don't KNOW that. Like others have said, all WP & SOs could be going along and not saying anything to not rock the boat.

Should we do a raise of hands? How many Knotties would rather sit with their WP/friends vs. their SOs (rhetorical unless you really want to answer)? There's a huge cross section of the population on this site, I'd be willing to put money on the SOs winning out over friends.

ETA for spelling

daveANDkristen · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:4e8519e9-7e7a-484d-876f-67caf3a4d211">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>haha sorry guys didn't mean to stir the pot further</strong>, I just had the hilarious image in my mind of someone running through a wedding declaring everything rude. I know the input is well intentioned. And not rude. since we're a few months away from the seating chart, I will DEFINITELY stear clear of the head table :)
Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

Pretty sure you did.

CallaLily25 · February 2013

I think even if you don't necessarily agree that something is rude, you can see why something may be inconsiderate. I personally want to avoid being inconsiderate to my guests, so I find this board and its honesty very helpful.

antibride2013 · February 2013

I find this board helpful/educational as well. I did not know so many people were so against the "cover your plate" rule. My grandmother uses that rule, so does my mother. I thought it was the norm. These ladies are helpful for those of us who are not up to date on our etiquette.

daveANDkristen · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:b6ae4ef5-2608-4320-903a-cb28a79b64c4">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]I find this board helpful/educational as well. I did not know so many people were so against the "cover your plate" rule. My grandmother uses that rule, so does my mother. I thought it was the norm. These ladies are helpful for those of us who are not up to date on our etiquette.
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

I think it's ok for a guest to give a gift that "covers their plate" if that's what they are comfortable with, but I think the problem comes in when the B&G expect it. Gifts are not required at all and as a guest, how would you even know how much your plate costs?

AdeleDazeem · February 2013

agh! Cover your plate makes me stabby.

misshart00 · February 2013

In Response to Re:Rude post:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rude post:I find this board helpful/educational as well.nbsp; I did not know so many people were so against the "cover your plate" rule.nbsp; My grandmother uses that rule, so does my mother.nbsp; I thought it was the norm.nbsp; These ladies are helpful for those of us who are not up to date on our etiquette.Posted by antibride2013I think it's ok for a guest to give a gift that "covers their plate" if that's what they are comfortable with, but I think the problem comes in when the Bamp;G expect it.nbsp; Gifts are not required at all and as a guest, how would you evennbsp;know how much your plate costs? Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

I think it's also a problem when someone declines an invitation because they can't afford a 'nice enough' gift. The bride and groom hopefully invited you because they wanted you there, not because they thought you should pay for your plate.

antibride2013 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:729fd403-f897-4cc2-b0cd-686893b9ba17">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rude post : I think it's ok for a guest to give a gift that "covers their plate" if that's what they are comfortable with, but I think the problem comes in when the B&G expect it. Gifts are not required at all and as a guest,<strong> <div align="left"><strong>how would you even know how much your plate costs?
</strong></div></strong>Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

Yeah I questioned that as well. I guess they go off of where the wedding is, where the reception is, etc.

MrsMack10612 · February 2013

I had never heard of the cover your plate thing until coming to TK. I've always given what I could afford (check) and usually a handmade gift of some kind commemorating the occasion.

embreen · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:975da6e4-cecf-4cc5-8644-0c02926c04ee">Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to see a bunch of knotties at a wedding....just exclaiming "This is rude! That is rude! Your head table offends me! I wanted a plus one, ruddie rudester! You're seeking atteention, you rude white dress wearing mistress of rude! Rude! Rude! Rude!" Please excuse the rude post :)
Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I think you are HILARIOUS!! (ps not sarcastic i really did find this funny)</div>

lyndausvi · February 2013

Besides that fact there is no good reason for a HT. Why do your nearest and dearest can't even get the courtesy of sitting with their SO like other guests? It's such a weird concept to me.

I'm already giving you a shower, bought a dress I will never wear again (maybe even other accessories), I'm giving up the night before and the morning of. I'm spending hours taking pictures, standing up at the ceremony. After all the I don't even get the courtsey every other guests, including you BTW, of getting to sit with my SO.

For the record, some people don't get to see their SO everyday. My DH works 6-7 days a week, 10-12 hour days. I may get 2 dinners a week with him. At one point I got 2 dinners a MONTH. No lunches or breakfasts. So yeah, I might want to have dinner with him since it's rare that I do.

MrsMack10612 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:05022ee8-e06a-4af2-b5a8-e7f7cb95630f">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]Besides that fact there is no good reason for a HT. Why do your nearest and dearest can't even get the courtesy of sitting with their SO like other guests? It's such a weird concept to me. I'm already giving you a shower, bought a dress I will never wear again (maybe even other accessories), I'm giving up the night before and the morning of. I'm spending hours taking pictures, standing up at the ceremony. After all the I don't even get the courtsey every other guests, including you BTW, of getting to sit with my SO. For the record, some people don't get to see their SO everyday. My DH works 6-7 days a week, 10-12 hour days. I may get 2 dinners a week with him. At one point I got 2 dinners a MONTH. No lunches or breakfasts. So yeah, I might want to have dinner with him since it's rare that I do.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I wish TK had a like button.

Mandaw0515 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:1f6ad780-339e-4bb4-8855-c18ca1519681">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Rude post : I think you are HILARIOUS!! (ps not sarcastic i really did find this funny)
Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]

Haha I also found it hilarious!!

lennonkdc · February 2013

FWIW I hate head tables and BP spotlight dances. When my FI's BFF got married they did both. I had to sit with my FI's parents and other people I've never met while my FI ate dinner on a stage, and then dance with some random girl...all while making small talk with my FIL's. It wasn't all that fun.

Either have a sweetheart table and seat BP with SO's or have a table big enough to seat BP and SO's with the B&G.

NOLAbridealmost · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:953f8646-7913-467a-a6aa-fab096fd72c5Post:05022ee8-e06a-4af2-b5a8-e7f7cb95630f">Re: Rude post</a>:
[QUOTE]Besides that fact there is no good reason for a HT. Why do your nearest and dearest can't even get the courtesy of sitting with their SO like other guests? It's such a weird concept to me. I'm already giving you a shower, bought a dress I will never wear again (maybe even other accessories), I'm giving up the night before and the morning of. I'm spending hours taking pictures, standing up at the ceremony. After all the I don't even get the courtsey every other guests, including you BTW, of getting to sit with my SO. For the record, some people don't get to see their SO everyday. My DH works 6-7 days a week, 10-12 hour days. I may get 2 dinners a week with him. At one point I got 2 dinners a MONTH. No lunches or breakfasts. So yeah, I might want to have dinner with him since it's rare that I do.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Cosigned, me. I work a 7-5 job. DH works 2 jobs; one from 5AM-2PM and the other from 5PM-11PM....I only get to see him for dinner a couple times a week if I am lucky. I don't want to spend one of those nights eating on an elevated platform watching him eat w/ a bunch of strangers across the room.

</div>

Peledreamsofrain · February 2013

You know what I'll point out as rude to your face? Asking someone for advice, then slapping them for trying to help you.

You're rude. You're welcome.

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