Seeing the groom before the ceremony???

jamalina · October 2009

All my life I imagined being in my wedding gown & seeing the look on my fiance's face as I walked down the isle. I don't want to see my fiance before our ceremony for sure! So I thought.... My photographer is making me second guess myself. He says we will miss out on certain pictures & will miss the whole cocktail hour. (We are getting married at the hall so there is no break from the ceremony to the cocktail hour). He told me 8 out of 10 people that get married at the reception hall see eachother before the ceremony to take pics. With that said, I still don't want to see my fiance before the ceremony but I'm afraid I might regret it. I am sleeping at my mom's house the night before so I won't see my fiance than either. I like the tradition - even though we already live together! What are you all doing or what did you do & how do you feel about ?????????

handfast4me · October 2009

Here's what a lot of brides do: The groom stands facing AWAY from where the bride will enter. Then the bride comes in, and taps the groom on the shoulder. He turns around, and the photographer captures the look on his face, and then hers. Works perfectly. My sister was dead set against this for my DD, but then she had to wait one hour and 45 minutes for the couple and wedding party to do pictures, so now she's ALL for it! I didn't see my first husband before the ceremony, and got divorced about 17 years later. With current DH, we dressed in the same room, and went to the ceremony site together. Much better for me, calmed my nerves, etc. So, just in case you're thinking about any superstitious stuff, I thought I'd throw that in.

Pirata13 · October 2009

We are doing what Stage Manager did. We don't want to see each other either, so we are doing as many pictures as possible before then the rest after. We don't expect it to take long. I think based on what some people have said, we'll make a list of "must-take" pictures so we don't miss anything. The way I am, we will know exactly what we will need to shoot after the wedding, so I think we'll be good time-wise.

MLC613 · October 2009

You need to do what you want to do! If it's always been your dream not to see him before, then don't, don't let your photographer talk you out of it. My fiance and i will not be seeing each other before. Just like everyone said, we will take as many pictures as possible before. I have had friends that told me the regret not seeing him before the wedding but I would much rather regret a choice that I made than someone else made for me

Good luck! Just make sure you do what you want, and not what somebody else wants!!

jamalina · October 2009

Thanks guys! I think I will stick to what I've always wanted & not see my fiance until I walk down the aisle. I really can't picture my wedding any other way. I just second guess myself alot! But it's interesting to hear everyone's wedding plans & experiences! Keep them coming! Thanks!

Leah&Christian09 · October 2009

We didn't see each other. I kind of wish we had done the private see each other moment. Our church is huge, and I was too far away to see my H's face as I was walking up the aisle. Logistically, it worked fine. We did pics with my side for and hour, then pics with his side for an hour, then the ceremony, and about 45 minutes of pics after. We didn't make it to the cocktail hour. We spent the extra 15 minutes just relaxing and getting a bite and a drink before the reception.

Spim7 · October 2009

We aren't going to see each other before the ceremony. I want to follow that tradition. I think it'll take away from the moment if we've already seen each other taken pics. etc.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

A lot of people like to share the "first seeing each other" moment in private, not in front of all their guests. I'm doing pics beforehand at an off-site location, so I might be biased. But you could always compromise and do separate pictures with families and the wedding party before the ceremony, then pics together afterwards.

Boofy&Babers · October 2009

We're doing the pictures before the ceremony. We actually thought it was better for us to see each other for the first time before the ceremony because it will be a little bit more of a private moment and I think we'll both be more calm going into the ceremony. And we're having an amazing cocktail hour that we don't want to miss. I've had so many people tell me I shouldn't do it that way but we're not superstitious and we really want that emotional moment to ourselves. For us, it's perfect! But you have to do what you and your FI want. If you don't want to see him before the ceremony, tell the photographer because you don't want to regret it. Good luck with everything! [url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/] [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10714;6/st/20091227/e/Our+Christmas+Wedding/k/0a7d/event.png[/img][/url]

kate8987 · October 2009

We're doing what Stagemanager14 did. Our church is pretty small so I shouldn't have a problem seeing fi's face when I walk in

JawesDulie · October 2009

"All my life I imagined being in my wedding gown & seeing the look on my fiance's face as I walked down the isle."DON'T LET YOUR PHOTOGRPHER RUIN THIS FOR YOU!Before the ceremoy, you can take photos with your bridesmaids and family, and he can do the same with his guys and family. Then you only have a few after the ceremony.

pdeverman · October 2009

My fiance and I are going to see each other before the ceremony, but we aren't going to be taking pictures with our families, BP, etc. We are just going to take pictures of the two of us so that it's a time just for the two of us (and our photographers, of course). I'm excited to get some time alone with my fiance on such a hectic day! I'm hoping it might calm our nerves a bit, too.

mizu22 · October 2009

Don't do it. It is well worth it and you will still get the important pictures. I didn't do it and am SO glad I stuck to my guns. It seems like you made your decision...stick with it!!

andowski · October 2009

I am getting married next September and do not plan on on seeing my FH until I walk down the aisle. I also photograph weddings on the side and it is split evenly down the middle the couples that do a "First Meet" photo (Bride and Groom seeing each other for the first time before the ceremony) and the couples that wait to see each other before the ceremony.If your photographer is any good, they will be able to plan out a way to get all of photos that you want. You are hiring a photographer for their services and artistic point of view, not to dictate how your wedding needs to flow. This is your day, do what YOU want to do.

Septwedding09 · October 2009

I missed my cocktail hour taking pictures, but I didn't mind. I'd rather spend that hour with my husband and wedding party...you will see them all at the reception!

hrchick72 · October 2009

This is an extremely personal choice that only you and your FI can make. You will have outside influences (like your pushy photog), but it is ultimately you and FI who will live the moment. It doesn't matter if your choice is inconvenient for anyone else. How & where do you two want to spend that very special, singular moment that you will never experience again? That's all there is to it.

hrchick72 · October 2009

forgot to tell you what we're doing... We are going to see each other before the ceremony. It will be a private moment with no one else and it will be documented on both photo & video.

Calypso1977 · October 2009

we did everything before, and i would do it that way again. it gave us more time wtih guests, but also we had plenty of time to relax and do our picutres withouth being rushed to get to the reception. also, everyone was "fresh". no tear stains, wrinkles or wilted flowers. we got our pics when everyone looked their best.

Lanyer · October 2009

Everyone has different priorities for their wedding. I am with you that having FI see me for the first time walking down the aisle is super important for me and for him, he doesn't even want people to talk about my dress in front of him because he wants to be completely surprised. Trust your instincts, I think you have a much bigger chance of regretting not going with your gut. If you get other pictures done before hand you should be fine on time, plus it will give you a little more time to get ready before the ceremony. Also you can make sure you get plenty of getting ready pictures, rather than rushing through those. Make sure your photographer knows what you want and is sensative to your needs, if he persists and tries to make you do what "everyone else" is doing perhaps you need to have a talk with him.

Gardini5 · October 2009

I'll be honest, I know you're set on waiting...and that's fine if that is what you really want but you should consider what we're doing. Our wedding is in the evening. Our whole day is going to be spent with the WP. But, from 11:30-1:00 is just him and I, alone taking our pictures and doing our reveal! No one else will be there but our families and him and I! It's going to be amazing. This was recommended to me by a bride that didn't have any time with her FI at all at her wedding. She felt like she was being pulled in a million directions...not the way you want such a big day in your relationship to be. Make it private, just you two! It's an amazing feeling to spend such a private moment just you two!! Just a thought! Good Luck!

lindseylou42 · October 2009

My fiance and I went back and forth on this. Our ceremony will begin at 5:30 and I was set on doing all pics before. Its OUR wedding day, the day we become one, I want to spend the entire day WITH him. He will still stand at the altar, I will walk down the aisle, the photog will be the only other person there. He will then leave the two of us alone at the altar to praise, pray, and cry together. I just believe that on my wedding day, I should be able to spend it with him

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Gardini5 · October 2009

Actually, it won't be bad at all! Our ceremony is at 4:00 which means we will only be taking pictures from 11:30-2:30. Which since we rented a huge bus to take us and the bridal party everywhere it will actually be quite enjoyable.

emh777 · October 2009

I felt the same way - but we are opting to do a private moment before hand followed by pictures, followed by the ceremony. If we are paying for a cocktail hour - I want to be a part of it. Also, the pictures can seem a lot more like a chore then fun so I like the idea of getting it out of the way and enjoying the rest of my day. also - it takes the pressure off. Whatever you choose - it's your day, it's up to you.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

We did not see each other before hand because I wanted the same experience as you described. I don't regret it. BUT, after the ceremony, pics of the two of us felt very rushed because we didn't want to keep guests at the reception waiting for too long. I do think if we had done some before, we would have been able to get some even better photographs.

hlm_mckay · October 2009

If you always imagined the first look being the walk, then ignore your photographer. Many photographers say it's easier when the bride and groom see each other, but they shouldn't pressure you to do something you don't want to. We didnt' see each other before the ceremony and I wouldn't have done it any other way. Yes, we didn't go to our cocktail hour, but we never planned on that anyway and don't feel we missed anything. We were taking our first married couple pictures instead!!! The walk was awesome and I will never forget the feeling of looking at my husband for the first time and the way he looked at me as I was walking down the aisle.

Creyo · October 2009

my cousin thought about it, but didn't. their moment was so beautiful it made me cry.the minister had the groom stand away from the door and told him the bride would come out the door and he would turn around and look. when the minister told him to turn around she was not at the door, but on a balcony above. so the groom was confused for a second, and then suprised and then saw her and had a look on his face that still makes me want to cry. I don't think it would have been the same if they had seen each other before

blondie82784 · October 2009

Were doing our photos after the ceremony.. I dont want him to see me in my dress I want it to be a surprise & so does he. The Photographer will take separate photos of us and im fine with that

katelyn_alameda · October 2009

we are doing like stage manager- do all separate pictures before and then a few of us after. we are getting married in the same hall as well. we are just having my cousin play a couple songs on guitar and then people can just socialize and relax. i worked with a photographer for about a year, and I have always been around the idea of walking in and having a moment before, still doing the surprise face picture. but i really wanted to see that face while walking down the aisle, and for everyone else to get to see his face too. i agree with you. its still important. really, is it going to kill yoru guests to wait 15-20 minutes?

UAallison83 · October 2009

The only reason I know this is because I'm putting up wedding traditions on the reception tables for my guest. I love the little facts on why we wear white dresses, where "something old, something new" came from and so on. Does anyone know the reason why typically people don't see each other until the ceremony. It's actually kind of funny: During the times when arranged marriages were the norm, the couple to be wed is never allowed to see each other. Marriages in the olden times are like business deals between two families. A father especially wants his daughter to be wed to a man from a rich land-owning family, which spells out prosperity and fortune. But if the groom meets the bride before the wedding and sees that she is not attractive, the groom could back out and cancel the wedding. This is something the family of the bride wants to avoid, especially if he wants to secure marrying into a wealthy family. This is also the case for family members who are giving a dowry. Such is the reason why the bride and groom are only allowed to meet on the wedding ceremony itself. This is so that the groom does not have a chance to back out from the wedding if he happens to find the bride unattractive or unappealing. HA, can you imagine! Me and the FI have decided on the "Our moment together" so we can share some peace and quiet before the day gets really going. Do what makes you feel better though! The photographer might just want you to know the different options and the different pictures he can get.

megmeg0224 · October 2009

We are going to see each other before the ceremony. I used to be set on waiting until I walked down the aisle, but then I realized that the first time we see each other on our day is special, be it before or during the ceremony. I want us to have a private moment where we see each other without everyone being there. Also after all of the hard work that we have been doing for this wedding, I want us to actually be able to enjoy it, by being at the cocktail hour, and getting able to enjoy the food and the party. If we take pictures before we have more time to enjoy ourselves later!

jkniga9 · October 2009

We will not see each other dressed before the wedding for a couple reasons. I want the moment in church and we have penty of time after the ceremony. We are getting married at 1:00 and the reception starts at 6:00. We will be doing the girls first then just the guys before the ceremony.We will see each other because we live together and decided not to sleep other places but we will sleep in different rooms more likely. I will also have my moh staying over that night since she lives farther away. We might not even see each other that morning since we have to be out of the house so much earlier for hair and other duties.We shall see how it all plays out.

Seeing the groom before the ceremony???

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