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he loves teasing me

callalily13callalily13 member
Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments
in Not Engaged Yet
My bf knows how I feel about surprises. I like surprises, but not if I know I have a surprise coming. I go completely nuts waiting for surprises until I bug the surprise out of people. I hate waiting for something, especially something as important as the proposal. He knows how I feel and how nuts I am having to wait and he is taking that and running with it. He is enjoying being able to tease me about when the date will be, what we will do, and wont even let me be there when he asks for my hand in marriage from my father. I dont want to know what he has planned I had simply wanted to know the time frame (3 months, 5 months, a year?) but he wont tell me. He just loves teasing me about it
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Re: he loves teasing me

  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ANd when he does, I hope you are completely surprised. I cant imagine knowing someone has a ring and wont give it to me. I wanted to marry FI from our first date, but I didnt bring it up until we had been together about a year. We were both very comfortable with the fact that we wanted to be together long term, so even though I pestered him about it, I certainly didn't want to pick out a ring that he is supposed to give me. I don't want to be the one to define HIS love for me. That's just too controlling for my taste. In any case, we had just made a major investment together (at year 2.25) so I thought an engagement was a ways off, just because of money issues. He surprised me 5 months later with a gorgeous ring, on a random Saturday morning, in his car in our driveway. Completely random and unexpeted and it was perfect. Waiting for a special occaision is all fine and dandy, but its so predictable. ANd of course if he wants to surprise you then you won't be there when he asks your father. IMHO that is something he needs to do alone. When he is ready, he will ask, and it won't matter where you are or what you look like or who is with you. The important part is that he is asking you to marry him. Building up expectations for the perfect proposal, etc, may lead to disappointment, because the important part is the question, and the intention, not the setting or the holiday. So relax, enjoy your relationship, and he will ask when he's ready. If you ease up about it some, then he might not heep putting it off... ANd this was directed not just at you, but at other posters on this board. Its good to be excited, but I think you all should relax a bit.
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Being pushy and nagging is bad.  But there is nothing wrong with having a say in when you get engaged/married.  It's not 1950.
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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh, I think you should have a say in when you get married, but if you subscribe to the belief that a formal engagement preceeds the wedding, and your BF is going to ask your father first, then you are subscribing to the tradition that dicates that the boy asks the girl. OP has mentioned that they intend to be traditional in the sense of her BF asking her father first. If she is waiting to him to ask, then it is his choice when to ask, and what token of commitment he chooses to give her. If she wants to control when the engagement happens, then she can propose to him. IMHO, to pick out a ring, know where it is, and know when he is going to ask kind of negates the specialness of the asking. Actions, such as buying the ring, buying a place together, or making another active commitment, always speak louder than words. I, personally, always take substance over form. My point was that surprises are good, and generally heartfelt, instead of being pressure-filled and feeling forced.
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I guess my point was just that everyone is different and what is perfect or special to one person might suck for another.
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  • callalily13callalily13 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I just dont care if he doesnt want to tell me how he wants to do it, but he has told me several times ("we'll be engaged by (blank)") and things happened where it wasnt possible so i just really wanted a time frame. I wanted to know a time frame as far as anytime before x-mas, v-day, easter, our anniversary or something of that sort so that he can't just say u'll get it and I wait another year or more. I am just venting I think, I realize that it is necessary for him to have his freedom in surprising me, but I just go nuts waiting.
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  • kelkel21kelkel21
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm with you callalily. A time frame would be nice as well. I think i've heard it all. in Jan i got "you'll hve a big rock soon"  in Sept i got "i want to be living togther 6 months before we get engaged." which its been a year. lol  Then last week it was his birthday (26) and he goes "i have to be married by 27." i was like HELLO! why do you look at me like i'm supposed to do somethign about it? and no way can we plan a wedding by the time you're 27. I dont want to know what the surprise is. but i'm going so crazy it'd be nice to know if i had to wait 6 months. 2 weeks, etc. I feel your pain. I think they tease but i also think they just have no clue of a time frame... it's not a priority to them i dont think...  they just go with the flow. He does tease me about how he knows exactly how he's doing it... ugh. lol sooooooooo frustrating. In the end it'll all be worh it!
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  • callalily13callalily13 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It will definitely be worth it when it happens i just hate the waiting and him teasing me with him having most of the money, telling me wrong times, and all that. Just gets aggravating
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  • callalilly323callalilly323 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    nice name, haha..
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  • kimrypaynekimrypayne member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wanted a time frame too and my FI would tell me to just let it go or it will be later...that he's not ready yet...that he doesn't have the money for the ring or to support me...so I kept my want of engagement on the down low and then I was pleasantly surprised one day with a proposal. Don't be too pushy because it will ruin the surprise and believe me you want to be surprised. GL!
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