For those who have to elope

mwhitson14 · October 2009

Also, let me add my favorite quote ever:pvegas, "what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

aMrsin09 · October 2009

HA! i didn't even get down to the part where she was asking for advice. I only read to the whining about the visa/4 wedding parties. Now that I re-read it and made it to the end, I'm going to say TROLL.

fangsiting · October 2009

The only reason why I need and want to do this is because if my family and friends didn't see it, it didn't happen.You know they make these things called cameras. A camera can capture a moment in time & you can show other people later. They even have video cameras which allow you to show a moving picture to your family and friends. Would people get confused? Yes.

SarahPLiz · October 2009

On th off chance that this is not a troll, I think it is a bit presumtuous (sp?) to think that all the people in 4 countries think your wedding is as important as you do. That being said, FI is Eastern European and I do know that the semantics of weddings there are a bit different than they are here. I know that you have a civil ceremony the day before or even the morning of the chuch wedding. I was told by FI's mother that weddings last for 3 days and the celebrations are INTENDED to raise money for the bride and groom to start their lives together. Both she and I think that part is tacky, though. In any case, your European constituents would probably see no problem with a civil ceremony before the church ceremony. WHile it may be an etiquette faux pas because you are calling a church ceremony a wedding instead of a vow renewal, I think that they will not be offended. You are not renewing your vows that you said to the JOP. They are entirely different vows intended to solidify an entirely different aspect of your marriage. I see them as 2 different things. THe US is in a lot of turmoil now over hte definition of marriage because we can't distinguish between the civil marriage and a church wedding. Europe does not seem to have that problem, but I digress. Just know that you are taking an etiquette risk, and that some people may not like it. I will say again, though, that it is a bit vain to think that you need to travel to 4 countries to celebrate your marriage. I think most people would rather send you a card and then just visit with you next time you are there.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

Whit - you're awesome.

tidetravel · October 2009

So, he hasn't proposed, but you want to get married the minute he steps off the plane? Not only do I call troll, but I also call marriage fraud.

kkchisholm · October 2009

I am impressed with anyone who actually got through this.

mwhitson14 · October 2009

As are you, cew

tidetravel · October 2009

I'm afraid that these events won't be as special, somehow. But when I think of getting to be with the man I love for the rest of my life, all this stuff seems unimportant. Now, see... that's funny. You have an entire NOVEL dedicated to how mean and unhelpful we are here (which, you eagerly sat through a 2 day waiting period, just to post), how YOUR situation is SO different, how YOU deserve YOUR special day, (or 3 apparently?), and yet, NONE of it is at ALL important as long as you get to marry the man you love. Contradition is thy name.

SwedishChick2011 · October 2009

I have no idea what you said because this is the longest post I have ever seen in my life. I just couldn't bring myself to read it. But...good luck!

squirrly · October 2009

Ditto whit.I read this whole dissertation, and you can't even stick around to participate in the discussion?

Mrs.C-To-Be · October 2009

I've been very surprised how judgmental and uncharitable (and ultimately unhelpful) many posts I've read on this forum have been.Then why in the world did you post here? If you post legit questions, you get real legit answers. If you post BS questions, you get BS answers. Seems simple enough.

kate51485 · October 2009

I think I notice a new little gem each time I skim this. And more and more contradictions.Note the excessive use of hubby.Where on the globe is this person?

tidetravel · October 2009

Where on the globe is this person? I'm guessing Mars. Which would TOTALLY explain the immigration issue.

jamm2019 · October 2009

Wow that was really long... Im going to say do what you want, because my head is spinning from that post... But I would get engaged first. Then start worrying about all of this confusion...

Swolf67 · October 2009

*raises eyebrow at troll*i have no particular problem with the 3 events you're planning, personally. i do think planning it all so in-depth before he has proposed is a wee bit strange. that being said, my fiance is foreign and we're dealing with similar stresses- spending loads of money on flights and immigration fees. and we're doing the fiance visa too. that being said, we set a date. A specific one, seriously. We gave ourselves about 18 months from the month he was planning on immigrating (June, even though we're getting married in August) for the whole process after researching processing times on the internet. I took the top processing timeframe from each stage and added it all together. The USCIS did everything so promptly that we have actually had to wait for an extention. Next on the list is his visa interview in January in London, *fingers crossed* you CAN pick a date.

jadebaby · October 2009

Applause to Whit for the Billy Madison quote!

jamm2019 · October 2009

LOL! Whit...

TheSaltyPeanut · October 2009

OP, you are a certifiable nut job. That's all.

kikibaby · October 2009

All I got out of this is... he's not your hubby if he hasn't even proposed yet.And, you're so BSC it's funny.

laurenclaire1386 · October 2009

Whit, I always kind of liked you and now I love you. I've rarely seen a situation where that quote is so friggin appropriate. I'm not going to address OP because I have nothing witty or original to add to this hot mess of a post.

wadingmoose · October 2009

Here's what I've learned from planning a wedding:Just fuucking elope.Trust me. This is the most helpful advice you'll ever get here.

mwhitson14 · October 2009

Lol laurenclaire. That scene is all I could think of when I read the post. And I honestly did intend to help, but I just got really overwhelmed and confused.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

I stopped reading after the finger waving first paragraph, so I have no idea what her problem is.

MeaghanandMichael · October 2009

Still waiting for him to propose!! He's, like, the most romantic man in the world and he knows it's important to me, so I hope he does it right :-) Dude. Give the guy a break. Judging from your ridiculous expectations of complete internet strangers I am scared to death of what you demand from him. Poor guy.

wadingmoose · October 2009

CEW - she's having 4 parties (3, not including the one in Vegas) for her wedding. Her question is "am I missing anything?"I dunno, 4 parties just doesn't seem enough.

Koopa17 · October 2009

Oh jesus, did it take you the entire 2 day waiting period to write out this piece of shiit? You have entirely too much time on your hands.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

Thanks for the cn, Moose. I'm actually having 5 parties, but that's only because the pumpkin carriage was booked for the dates of my first four.

scoetto · October 2009

Are there really circumstances where one HAS to elope other than for a green card anyway?

aMrsin09 · October 2009

Are there really circumstances where one HAS to elope other than for a green card anywayMy parents did. Mom was 17 and pregnant with moi, GPs were not having any of it. They had to go to KY or TN? where the legal age was 17. Family found out and the GPs ended up attending anyway.