For those who have to elope

missy68 · October 2009

I'm just still in a piissy huff because I DID get married in Las Vegas, it WAS a regular wedding ceremony, and I DID have family, friends, and a minister.Hell, I even had cake, a reception, dinner after, invitations, a luncheon, a post-wedding luncheon, AND it was my second wedding. Hallelujah, holy shiit.People who think Vegas is just for JOP-ing and eloping piiss me off.

kate51485 · October 2009

You mean you didn't have a theme?!?!?!! OMG! Your marriage is nullified.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

All marriages are valid as long as they are... you know, legally valid.I also don't understand why you say you're broke and can't have a big wedding, but then decide to have 1.234.345 receptions. That costs more. Plus, YOU need to fly to all these places. It would also help if you told us what country A and country B are. The UK and France? Italy and Lithuania? Russia and Spain? That might help us determine where to hold a reception in Europe (cause yeah, one there would be good). Usually I'm against the idea of having a wedding ceremony and then a pretty princess day later on, but here's an idea - depending on where you live, jet your legal JOP ceremony for immigration purposes out of the way. Do a destination wedding, actually. Go to Florida or Napa or Vegas. Then come back to where you live and throw a reception for your family and friends a month or two later. In this case, they will understand your reasons for a destination wedding/elopement and later reception. Or give people lots of notice and invite all the European relatives to that party too. Or then do another (ONE other) in Europe.Any pre-wedding events - those people need to be invited to the wedding. So by all means, have a bachelorette with your sister, but invite her to your damn ceremony! If she can't come, that's another story.It's not so much that you aren't getting any respect because you aren't doing a traditional wedding. It's that you are going way over the top in your attention-seeking and doing MORE than what a traditional wedding would entail.

missy68 · October 2009

kate...... *snort*I was going to, you know, do a balloon arch and carriage, but Dad didn't buy into that, and the temp was too damn hot. The horsies wouldn't do well. :P :P

J&K10910 · October 2009

I actually believe all of this until the second follow up post, with the gratuitous use of "like" and then she said he hadn't proposed yet.

kate51485 · October 2009

I hope by horsies you mean unicorns, Missy...no Vegas wedding could be complete without them.

pvegas · October 2009

I was distraught about this whole idea that if one elopes, reception out the window! I've had so much fun over the years helping my sister and some of my best friends get married, that the thought of not being able to share that moment with them and with all the traditions a "normal" wedding entails made me really sad. So did the thought of not involving my family. So did realizing that wanting those things after an elopement was so generally perceived as selfish, even if that elopement didn't feel like a real choice. My original post was inspired by tears and that weird place your brain goes at 4am, no sleep and lots of jet lag, I am sorry. I was incredibly rude and so I suppose I merited all the incredibly rude responses I received in turn. However, thanks to everyone who made an honest attempt to offer advice; it was much appreciated. For the benefit of anyone in a similar situation, I found this thread really helpful: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-before-your-wedding

carly819 · November 2009

Be true to yourself. It sounds like you feel judged. There is no "right way." Many people reject the traditional American wedding anyway. I might suggest you read the book "Conscious Bride" for a fresh perspective or check out offbeatbride.com.Create a cool custom invitation that includes your events and let people choose, if that's what you would like them to do!

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