Not Engaged Yet

Hey there - newbie here :)

Hi everyone. My name is Meghan and I'm from New York. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years (we're both in our early 30s), so needless to say my patience is running thin. My boyfriend knows this, and he (says he) is planning on getting me a ring as soon as he can afford it. But I just feel like I've been waiting forever. I see people younger than me, and people who've been dating for a lot less time than my SO and I have been, getting engaged left & right. And it frustrates the hell out of me. I know I can't compare my relationship to others', but it's still hard sometimes (a lot of times). I figured I might find some other females on here who can relate to what I've been going through.

So what's the good word?

And if you wanna know anything about me, feel free to ask away!  Smile
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Re: Hey there - newbie here :)

  • Hi there!  Do you like Harry Potter?  How do you like your potatoes?  Who's your favorite poster on TK?

    I definitely know how you're feeling.  H and I were together for almost 5 years before he proposed, and we watched several younger couples get engaged and then married in less time.  It was hard.

    I'll say this much, though:  our wedding, when it finally came, rocked.  His younger sister got married a couple years before we did to someone she hadn't been with long, and while the wedding was still great, there was definitely some awkward does-this-couple-really-know-what-they're-getting-into-type stress in the air.  I have had several people comment to me on how different our wedding was and how much love and support there was in the air.  I wouldn't trade that for anything, even if it took some frustration to get there.  :)

    I'll also say this:  our wedding was possibly the best day of my life so far, and while I'm happy to be settling into the married life, I'm sad that it's over.  Part of me wishes I still had the wedding to look forward to.  So enjoy the dating phase.  Once the engagement starts, it flies by and then you're just an old married hag for the rest of your life.
  • Hi star and welcome.

    what is your favorite alcoholic drink?

    Favorite desert?

    Patience can be hard I'm in my early 30's as well.  We are moving in together in a few weeks so that is huge, so right now my patience pants are on (for the most part) and I'm just focusing on all the moving in stuff.

    Anniversary

  • Hey Elle! Well I loved the Harry Potter books, but I must admit I haven't seen the movies (I'm not a big movie person, which is ironic b/c my SO loves movies, and often goes to see them on opening day!). I just answered the potato question on the "all about youuuuu" thread, LOL. I like them au gratin, though I rarely eat them. Potatoes aren't on my list of most favorite foods, heh. As for my favorite poster on TK, I think it's too early to say! Give me another few weeks & I'm sure I'll have picked a fave (or two... or five...)  Wink

    Hi Danser! I'd have to say my favorite alcoholic drink is a frozen strawberry margarita. They make really good ones at Olive Garden for some reason. I just had one tonight, it was YUM!
    Favorite desert, huh? That is a tough one because I love just about any and all deserts! But if I had to pick, I guess I'd say a piece of chocolate cake (preferably home-made, but I'm not picky).
    Congrats on moving in with your SO! I remember being very impatient for that milestone with my SO as well. When it finally happened (a little over 2 yrs ago) I was thrilled. Enjoy living together, it's a great step!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:eb96c1ca-8bcd-4c06-8482-c005817237f4">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey Elle! Well I loved the Harry Potter books<strong>, but I must admit I haven't seen the movies (I'm not a big movie person, which is ironic b/c my SO loves movies, and often goes to see them on opening day!)</strong>. I just answered the potato question on the "all about youuuuu" thread, LOL. I like them au gratin, though I rarely eat them. Potatoes aren't on my list of most favorite foods, heh. As for my favorite poster on TK, I think it's too early to say! Give me another few weeks & I'm sure I'll have picked a fave (or two... or five...)  Hi Danser! I'd have to say my favorite alcoholic drink is a frozen strawberry margarita. They make really good ones at Olive Garden for some reason. I just had one tonight, it was YUM! Favorite desert, huh? That is a tough one because I love just about any and all deserts! But if I had to pick, I guess I'd say a piece of chocolate cake (preferably home-made, but I'm not picky). Congrats on moving in with your SO! I remember being very impatient for that milestone with my SO as well. When it finally happened (a little over 2 yrs ago) I was thrilled. Enjoy living together, it's a great step!
    Posted by stargazer102706[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is totally ok.  Books > Movies.</div>
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited July 2012
    I know it can be frustrating to see others who haven't been dating as long as you/are younger than you get engaged and married.  Just know that when it is right for you, the time will come.

    If it makes you feel better, my husband and I were dating for 7 years before we got engaged.  We just got married last month and I wouldn't have had it any other way.  It was perfect! 

    Focus on your relationship now and enjoying the time you have together as BF and GF and come here to take your mind off of it!

    ETA:  Also, H and I are 31 and 29 respectively, so not too far off from the ages of you and your SO.
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:cc3b004a-acf7-4ad4-a1f0-d938b58a0738">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi there!  Do you like Harry Potter?  How do you like your potatoes?  Who's your favorite poster on TK? I definitely know how you're feeling.  H and I were together for almost 5 years before he proposed, and we watched several younger couples get engaged and then married in less time.  It was hard. I'll say this much, though:  our wedding, when it finally came, rocked.  His younger sister got married a couple years before we did to someone she hadn't been with long, and while the wedding was still great, there was definitely some awkward does-this-couple-really-know-what-they're-getting-into-type stress in the air.  I have had several people comment to me on how different our wedding was and how much love and support there was in the air.  I wouldn't trade that for anything, even if it took some frustration to get there.  :) I'll also say this:  our wedding was possibly the best day of my life so far, and while I'm happy to be settling into the married life, I'm sad that it's over.  Part of me wishes I still had the wedding to look forward to.  So enjoy the dating phase. <strong> Once the engagement starts, it flies by and then you're just an old married hag for the rest of your life.</strong>
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    This!  :) (But, we like old married hags around here.)

    BUT, I am kinda glad the wedding has happened.  Even though it was the best day of my life, too, it was a lot of work and stress, and I felt like I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders the day after.
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:de4af68f-2027-4f6e-ac72-2b63bac22f1f">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hey there - newbie here :) : This!  :) (But, we like old married hags around here.)<strong> BUT, I am kinda glad the wedding has happened.  Even though it was the best day of my life, too, it was a lot of work and stress, and I felt like I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders the day after.</strong>
    Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ohhh yeah, I know the feeling.  I feel like getting the wedding behind me has freed up so much room in my life (and brain) for other things.  It's like I'm myself again or something.</div><div>
    </div><div>It's mostly just that one day...  I wish it could have gone on and on and on...</div>
  • Hi Meghan!  I can totally relate to how you are feeling, my bf and I just celebrated 7 years together.  And we just went to the wedding for a couple that dated for less than a year before getting engaged.  It can be so frustrating! 
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:76a34538-62e3-4fb9-90e5-9fd2c16658e9">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]And we just went to the wedding for a couple that dated for less than a year before getting engaged.  It can be so frustrating! 
    Posted by lovelyheather[/QUOTE]
    Yeah, my sister and her fiancé got engaged after knowing each other for six months. It's now a year and a half post-engagement and they still haven't set a date. Why bother getting engaged?

    And congrats, I think you're the sanest new person who has started posting in the last few days! I like you.

  • OP, I know exactly how you feel. FI and I have been together 9 years, are in our early 30's and just got engegad last week. The first morning I woke up as his 'FI' I felt sad that that part of our life was past. Its ok to want to be engaged, and to have moments of impatient, but trust me, once that part is gone, its gone. 

    The best advice I can give is that if you really want to marry your BF, think long and hard about what you want that marriage to look like- then start laying that foundation. You can have the type of marriage/ relationship you want now, even without the engagement or the wedding. 

    If you lay a strong foundation the when you do get engaged/ married you'll be ready (as a couple) for the subtle yet complete ways those events change you. 



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  • Hi OP. I can't really relate because I am one of the younger ones to get engaged/married, but I can certainly see how that would be upsetting. Although it probably sucks waiting, it sounds like your BF is being smart by waiting until he is financially ready and able to propose. With an engagement also comes a wedding to pay for as well. H and I definitely wouldn't have gotten engaged if we weren't financially ready, that definitely paid a huge role in everything.
    5/27/12
    image
  • Hi stargazer! It's nice to have another member of the over-30 club. It definitely can be tough seeing others around you get married, but when your time comes, it will be awesome.

    What hobbies do you have?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:bb3a1059-5787-43a8-aa95-7d05e2866f9a">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hey there - newbie here :) : This is totally ok.  Books /> Movies.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    Yes absolutely! There've been so many movie versions of great books that have been complete let downs. (The one that always comes to mind for me is "Thinner" by Stephen King - that movie was AWFUL!) I'd rather just read the book and enjoy the characters the way I envisioned them to be  :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:f43e804e-2a08-4564-a5f0-1d6f44270b7a">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know it can be frustrating to see others who haven't been dating as long as you/are younger than you get engaged and married.  Just know that when it is right for you, the time will come. If it makes you feel better, my husband and I were dating for 7 years before we got engaged.  We just got married last month and I wouldn't have had it any other way.  It was perfect!  Focus on your relationship now and enjoying the time you have together as BF and GF and come here to take your mind off of it! ETA:  Also, H and I are 31 and 29 respectively, so not too far off from the ages of you and your SO.
    Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

    Wow, 7 years! It certainly helps to know I'm not the only one who's had to wait for their man to put a ring on it lol. I'm glad you enjoyed your wedding and your picture is beautiful!  :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:76a34538-62e3-4fb9-90e5-9fd2c16658e9">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi Meghan!  I can totally relate to how you are feeling, my bf and I just celebrated 7 years together.  And we just went to the wedding for a couple that dated for less than a year before getting engaged.  It can be so frustrating! 
    Posted by lovelyheather[/QUOTE]

    Hi Heather! Ugh, they were dating less than a year?!? That would drive me nuts! I have this fear that my (5 years younger) sister and her bf (who've been dating just a little over a year) will get engaged before my SO and me. I think I'd totally lose it.
    I'm here if you ever need someone to vent to!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:361cd5df-f5c7-4607-b77b-a95fb3d3ccae">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hey there - newbie here :) : Yeah, my sister and her fiancé got engaged after knowing each other for six months. It's now a year and a half post-engagement and they still haven't set a date. Why bother getting engaged? And congrats, I think you're the sanest new person who has started posting in the last few days! I like you.
    Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

    Six months?!? Geesh. Like I just posted above, I have a fear my sister & her SO will get engaged soon, and they've only been dating a little over a year. Her SO is in a much better financial situation (aka really rich family) than mine, so it would be a lot easier for him to get a ring for my sister & help pay for a wedding than it is for my SO at the moment.
    Thanks for thinking I'm sane! I hope to prove you right over the next few months/years whatever lol. And I like you too!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:12337ff0-dafc-4d3e-9e29-e46dbb8b7acb">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I like you. Do you like pinterest?
    Posted by hellotarra[/QUOTE]

    Thanks I like you too.  :)
    I actually don't use pinterest. I'm afraid it will become a giant time-suck for me lol. Also, I don't do well with change. It took me <strong><em>months</em></strong> to make the switch from myspace to facebook, and although I have a twitter account I haven't used it in ages. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:0e3f3cb1-b9c2-47f8-bc0e-4b23e662a600">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP, I know exactly how you feel. FI and I have been together 9 years, are in our early 30's and just got engegad last week. The first morning I woke up as his 'FI' I felt sad that that part of our life was past. Its ok to want to be engaged, and to have moments of impatient, but trust me, once that part is gone, its gone.  The best advice I can give is that if you really want to marry your BF, think long and hard about what you want that marriage to look like- then start laying that foundation. You can have the type of marriage/ relationship you want now, even without the engagement or the wedding.  If you lay a strong foundation the when you do get engaged/ married you'll be ready (as a couple) for the subtle yet complete ways those events change you. 
    Posted by lennonkdc[/QUOTE]

    9 years, you are a patient woman!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
    Thanks for the great advice about laying the foundation for a good marriage. I know that getting married is a huge step, and I do want to make sure SO and I both know how to make it work and make each other happy.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:ebe5397f-42c3-4791-98e9-fe20e1bcfcaf">Re:Hey there newbie here :</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi OP. I can't really relate because I am one of the younger ones to get engaged/married, but I can certainly see how that would be upsetting. Although it probably sucks waiting, it sounds like your BF is being smart by waiting until he is financially ready and able to propose. With an engagement also comes a wedding to pay for as well. H and I definitely wouldn't have gotten engaged if we weren't financially ready, that definitely paid a huge role in everything.
    Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

    Hi jaycee. Yes, deep inside I know how important it is for us to be financially ready for all of this. It's just the impatient part of me that says I want a ring now now now now now!  *stamps feet*  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" />
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:c549c44b-d4a5-4d77-8f4f-d740722f2f0e">Re:Hey there newbie here :</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Hey there newbie here : : It's just the impatient part of me that says I want a ring now now now now now!  *stamps feet* 
    Posted by stargazer102706[/QUOTE]
    Gurl, I hear that. My boyfriend's had the ring since May of last year and I have long strings of time where I just hear 'now now now now now now now' in my head. Ugh. He likes trolling me though, so that's the main hitch. He's kind of an ass in that regard :x.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:7b8031e9-39a9-468c-b635-d3c8a9db5fa3">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi stargazer! It's nice to have another member of the over-30 club. It definitely can be tough seeing others around you get married, but when your time comes, it will be awesome. What hobbies do you have?
    Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

    Hi Leia. Yay for the over-30 club! Remember when we were younger and we thought we'd have it all together by now? LOL the good old days!
    I don't have too many hobbies besides reading and watching tv. I was laid off 2 years ago and just started a new job a month ago. In the time I wasn't workling, I went back to school to get my associates in accounting, and I just need to take 1 more class to get my degree. I also am a huge animal lover and activist, but there aren't many organizations in my area for me to be part of. I guess I just gotta keep looking!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:50451b77-188f-401d-9e0f-736ddd72ca76">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hey there - newbie here :) : 9 years, you are a patient woman!  Thanks for the great advice about laying the foundation for a good marriage. I know that getting married is a huge step, and I do want to make sure SO and I both know how to make it work and make each other happy.
    Posted by stargazer102706[/QUOTE]

    <div>Trust me I am sure that my first post here made me sound much less patient. </div><div>
    </div><div>And I know its not always easy to get over that "dear lord when will it be my turn" feeling. But as you know, it passes in time. I found that by focusing on the things that make a strong relationship translate into a strong marriage (understanding, really listening, acceptance, letting go of ego, seeing 'us' not me, ect...) that feeling would pass sooner. It has made us stronger, and I learned it all from the wise ladies here at NEY.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>



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  • I feel old on this board sometimes, although there are a lot more women in their early 30's than I always think there are.

    Anniversary

  • Welcome!

    I'm 31 and engaged without a ring and I understand the "Now Now Now" feeling waiting for the ring. On the other hand I know the special day he does bring me that little box the moments will be fleeting. I try to remind myself everyday that itll be over before I know it and be ready to just absorb as much as I can since he wants to give me an "official proposal" even though we've picked our date next year and our location etc. So as others have said enjoy what you have now as much as possible. Anticipation can be aweful but at the same time wonderful, just remember when the moment does come it will be gone quickly so try to capture as much as possible of that moment in your memory.

    We have been together just over 2 years, and we're moving in together at the end of the summer. We have done a lot of budget talks leading up to this, and many vacations etc together in the last year so I'm looking forward to us being together all the time at this point. Living together is going to allow us to become even closer, save money, and many other wonderful things. I'm so excited to start this new part of our lives together because he is my best friend, and my daughter just adores him too. I look forward to time together with my daughter and him everyday, now the time always seems so fleeting and I want to have that feeling of a complete family all the time not just a day, a week, a few hours here and there. I know it wont be as exciting as it is now, and there will be huge responsibilities together but I am happy to share those things. You give up the excitement but in return get contentment which at my age and after having a divorce young I would much rather have contentment than constant excitement anyway. I look forward to being a married old hag next October :).
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  • edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:4bb105df-fee4-4cde-b5a8-cab377c17dcc">Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone. My name is Meghan and I'm from New York. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years (we're both in our early 30s), so needless to say my patience is running thin. My boyfriend knows this, and he (says he) is planning on getting me a ring as soon as he can afford it. But I just feel like I've been waiting forever . I see people younger than me, and people who've been dating for a lot less time than my SO and I have been, getting engaged left & right. And it frustrates the hell out of me. I know I can't compare my relationship to others', but it's still hard sometimes (a lot of times). I figured I might find some other females on here who can relate to what I've been going through. So what's the good word? And if you wanna know anything about me, feel free to ask away! 
    Posted by stargazer102706[/QUOTE]

    Hey there...if you makes you feel a little better, I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 years and he is still saving up for  a ring as well. I know what you mean when you say you are feeling impatient (really I do), but hang in there. If he is the right one, then it will happen when the moment is right. I too have watched friends who date for a year or two and get engaged rather quickly. It used to really bother me (and at times still does), but I am comfortable knowing that our relationship is solid and is still strong (despite being married yet). Have you had a long, honest conversation with him yet? I told my boyfriend, I don't want a huge, expensive right. I think he is still trying to buy something nice though, which delays everything. But in the end, it will work out better if you are both ready for engagement and marriage. Trust me, patience truly is a virtue. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:8fd4e3b8-8dad-4d40-a263-d6efc107e7e0">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hey there - newbie here :) : Trust me I am sure that my first post here made me sound much less patient.  And I know its not always easy to get over that "dear lord when will it be my turn" feeling. But as you know, it passes in time. I found that by focusing on the things that make a strong relationship translate into a strong marriage (understanding, really listening, acceptance, letting go of ego, seeing 'us' not me, ect...) that feeling would pass sooner. It has made us stronger, and I learned it all from the wise ladies here at NEY.
    Posted by lennonkdc[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I definitely go through phases of patience and IMpatience. Unfortunately right now it's the latter. My friend at work (who's 9 years younger than me) is currently planning her wedding. She doesn't talk about it constantly or anything, but I still feel that twinge (of jealousy?) when I see her looking at dresses, invites, etc. I know my time will come, but as the wise Tom Petty once said - "the waiting is the hardest part"  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:1dba84b8-703b-413b-9877-d13dcc540ef3">Re:Hey there newbie here :</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Hey there newbie here : : Gurl, I hear that. My boyfriend's had the ring since May of last year and I have long strings of time where I just hear 'now now now now now now now' in my head. Ugh. He likes trolling me though, so that's the main hitch. He's kind of an ass in that regard :x.
    Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

    LOL ahstillwell, at least you know he HAS the ring! You know you'll get it sometime, it's just a question of when now!  :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:771da29e-6d41-458c-a978-9430ab8d7ff9">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel old on this board sometimes, although there are a lot more women in their early 30's than I always think there are.
    Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I've seen a lot of young ones on this site (I just read a thread about someone getting engaged AT PROM and nearly choked). Not that age is everything; it's certainly not. There are many mature teenagers and twentysomethings, and quite a few IMmature 30 & 40 somethings as well. But it does get a little hard sometimes to hear about people 10-15 yrs younger than me already getting hitched...
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:7584caab-7673-455f-a4af-a3d311455a37">Re:Hey there newbie here :</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Hey there newbie here : : LOL ahstillwell, at least you know he HAS the ring! You know you'll get it sometime, it's just a question of when now!  :)
    Posted by stargazer102706[/QUOTE]
    Actual conversation:

    'We'll get engaged this year.'

    'When?'

    'Before the holiday.'

    'What holiday?'

    '... well, I can't narrow it down <em>that </em>much for you.'

    '... thanks, dearest.'

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hey-there-newbie-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:324b3182-045f-49ad-8788-0c51ea0fbcf0Post:115813de-d4fb-41a3-968c-1e40eb963960">Re: Hey there - newbie here :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Welcome! I'm 31 and engaged without a ring and I understand the "Now Now Now" feeling waiting for the ring... We have been together just over 2 years, and we're moving in together at the end of the summer. We have done a lot of budget talks leading up to this, and many vacations etc together in the last year so I'm looking forward to us being together all the time at this point. Living together is going to allow us to become even closer, save money, and many other wonderful things...
    Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

    Living together first is really important IMO. How can you know if you are really compatible enough to spend the rest of your life with someone if you don't know if you can tolerate sharing the same living space with them day in and day out? :)
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