okay, I have another funny story/confession

tastyburger · October 2009

but I am going to wait for the confession thread tomorrow since it has nothing to do with butts or anal. I know you all will be sitting on the edge of your seat until then!

buddhagouda · October 2009

Boo!

CaliopeSpidrman · October 2009

You are a mean lady.

ChristinS · October 2009

No. NO! You will share it now. Don't make me throw an all out fit.

FallinAgain · October 2009

::Narrows eyes at Tasty::

PDXPhotoGrl · October 2009

cocktease.

tastyburger · October 2009

omg, what if I'm hit by a bus tonight? then y'all wouldn't get your story!Calie, you already know the sitch, so don't be too disappointed.

buddhagouda · October 2009

I demand satisfaction, miss lady.

ChristinS · October 2009

Don't make me ban you from using my guest shower Tasty. I don't want to have to do that, but I will.

CaliopeSpidrman · October 2009

Oh good! I take back what I said. :: to everyone else:: I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know!

buddhagouda · October 2009

Double Boo!

tastyburger · October 2009

alright, alright. only because I don't want you guys building it all up in your mind and only being let down.so . . . this past saturday, you all know I went to the pumpkin patch with Car and CM/CD. It was a long day.So I get back home at 6:30 pm and decide to go out and get the mail so I can get my Netflix DVD. I had come in the door, taken off my coat, put down my purse, emptied my pockets of monies, and then went out the front door. And. Shut it behind me, thusly locking me out.Now H's schedule varies, and he said he'd be home about 7:30-8. It's about 6:30. So I'm like, I can make it for an hour. I'll read these catalogs on our back porch for an hour.I go back there and start reading and then the shivering starts. You remember, I had already taken off my coat. Plus it is getting REALLY dark and I didn't have the back porch lights on and only 1 out of 4 citronella candles would light for me, so I couldn't read my catalogs anymore. So then I decide to take a really long, brisk walk. Walked around the neighborhoods for almost an hour. Great exercise, cleared my head, cold but doable (although my nose was running like a BIITCH).Get back, go to the back porch, make knocking noises on the door so my poor confused kitties would come and look, thusly disturbing the curtain, thusly allowing me to see the time on a wall clock in my kitchen. It's like 7:45 and still no H. so I'm like, not too much longer now. Now, I have to pee. I'm trying to decide if I want to make my parts really cold by exposing them and which catalog to use as TP. I can see the main intersection stoplight that H uses to get home so I kind of watch out for his car.Time ticks by. It's now . . . 8:30 and still no H. I'm bored, cold, and have to pee reeeeeally bad. I wished I still had my monies in my pocket because I would have just walked to Starbucks and chilled with a nice drink. I didn't know if it would be worth it to try to find a "at home" neighbor to call my parents and have them drive over and let me in if H was going to be home any minute. Our immediate neighbor's houses were very, very dark and they weren't home, and I wouldn't have felt very comfy knocking on anyone else's door and being all "can I use your potty and can I use your phone and can I use your couch to wait?"so . . . I do the electric slide (to take my mind off the cold/peeing) for the next 45 minutes while watching traffic patterns from our back porch. Finally at 9:30 H comes home and I saw his car turn so I was waiting for hm to walk in the door and begun knocking like a crazy person.he walks to the door all confused and it takes him about a half sec to figure what's going on and he lets me in and I race to the bathroom. He had a really busy night and had to stay later. So he asks me how long I'd been out there and I was sooo embarrassed. So I'm like, Oh, like 8. Then about an hour later I'm like, "I lied, I'd been out there since 6:30." He's like OMG! Why didn't you call me/somebody and I was too embarrassed to call anyone and thinking he'd be home any minute and then by the time I realized that he WASN'T going to be home, I thought that he really WOULD be home any minute.WHEW.So I spent three hours in the dark in no coat in Chicago doing the electric slide and peering in houses' windows for excitement on a Saturday night.The end.OH, redeemer here . . . H had stopped at D&D and got me a large coffee and had brought it home for me. It was EXACTLY what I needed.

BobLoblaw · October 2009

Electric slide! Metears metears!

FallinAgain · October 2009

Get back, go to the back porch, make knocking noises on the door so my poor confused kitties would come and look, thusly disturbing the curtain, thusly allowing me to see the time on a wall clock in my kitchen. This is very smart.

jbloom · October 2009

awww! That is heartwarming. i want to make a TV show out of that story.

ChristinS · October 2009

Oh Tasty. Bless your heart. I love that you did the electric slide. I'll have to remember that next time I'm in a pinch. I'm really perpelxed by him bringing you a large coffee at 9pm. Was it decaf?

tastyburger · October 2009

I definately have the rhythm down now, let me tell you. I tried to remember other line dances that I knew but I couldn't remember any other one. So I literally electric-slided on my back porch for almost an hour. by myself. I'd race the stoplight pattern to get a complete rotation in before it turned green again.Christin, no, it was fully leaded. That's how we roll. : )

jbloom · October 2009

I don't know the name of it, but I can teach you a really fun line dance that involves hopping. I learned it during my days all-ages nights at the Grizzly Rose.

tastyburger · October 2009

oh, so we have a key hanging in our garage because two years ago Mr. Burger went out to have a cigarette while I was at work and the garage door to the house mysteriously locked behind him. He was in his boxers. I came home from work at 5:30 to a very bored and forlorn looking Mr. Burger. So we hung a key in there just in case it locks again on accident. Now I think we should hide the key in our grill or something but Mr. B is adamantly opposed to me hiding a key somewhere.

tastyburger · October 2009

bloomie, I loooooove line dancing/group dancing. teach it to me next time we're together.

CaliopeSpidrman · October 2009

We have a key hidden somewhere that even we can't find.

jbloom · October 2009

I suck at choreography (if you don't remember my helplessness at Whoregon), but this was one of the few line dances I "got" and could remember. I actually used it at an audition for a play in college. I bet they thought I was special.

noisy_penguin · October 2009

It's smart that you did the electric slide to stay warm. It's better than the boot scootin' boogy, which produces no electricity whatsoever.Once my roommate ran out to get something from her car and locked herself out. She was wearing PJ pants and an old t-shirt and no bra. And she needs to wear a bra in public. And socks. So she went down to the bar down the street (where we were friends with the bartender) and called her boyfriend, me, Lorne, every number she could remember, since she also didn't have her phone. No one answered, as we were all at work. (She was in grad school/worked part time and had a precious day off from work and classes.) So she sat in the bar for five hours. Braless, in her PJ pants, no shoes.

tastyburger · October 2009

ha! that's hilarious. and it was also funny to me reading "she needs to wear a bra. and socks." I was going to say, Are her ankles horrifying or something? but then I got what you were trying to say. I must have said to myself 18467363 times that I was sooo glad I still had my shoes on. I run out for the mail w/o shoes ALL the time. well, of course, I never will again, but I used to do that. Now I get the mail in shoes, a coat, keys in pocket and an emergency flare gun, just in case.

PDXPhotoGrl · October 2009

That sucks Tasterino, but thank you for not making me wait to hear it. Even though I loved it and it would have been worth the wait. I have the urge to get up and do the Electric Slide. Too bad your cats are not trained to unlock the door.

noisy_penguin · October 2009

Hahahaha. HER FEET! THEY ARE DISGUSTING! No, it was just poorly written. When she finally got ahold of me I was all, "Dude, how were you getting things from your car without keys anyway?" "I don't know! I forgot! Shut up!" She was pretty drunk.

turtlecrawl · October 2009

Funny story! We have one of those garage door keyless entry key pad thingy-ma-bob for this very reason! I'm kind of a weirdo and think that my neighbors have some high tech binoculars and spy on me when I type in the numbers, so I always pretend to type in extra numbers! Can you say whack job?

KristenBtobe · October 2009

The idea of you doing the electric slide for an hour made my day. My dance of choice would be the cha cha slide. That's my jam.

ChristinS · October 2009

Every-body clap your hands!

wingedbride · October 2009

ha, I love you tastykins!

okay, I have another funny story/confession

Re: okay, I have another funny story/confession

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