Bridesmaid dress help... Long

dawny150 · November 2009

So I took my bridesmaids to nonchalance yesterday to show them the two dresses I picked out. I told them to try them on and see which one they like better. Well two of the girls hated the way they looked (they used the word HATE). So I had the girls look around the store for anything they liked better. The criteria was it had to be tea length, satin, and come in pink or green. They must have tried on 20 dresses and didn't like anything! They found a dress that they said was "ok" but it would not look good on my very large chested sister or my little cousin (too sexy for her).So what do I do? I am upset at how they acted and feel like nothing will please them. I would pick a color and have them choose their own dresses, but they couldn't agree on a designer and I was hoping the dress would have two colors (sash a different color than dress or something). I just want them to feel comfortable. Do I just pick the dress and say they have to wear it?Any suggestions? I am open to dress ideas and dress pictures.I am off to work and can't really post from there, but will check back on my lunch. Thank you.

uppereastgirl · November 2009

How did you feel about the 20 dresses they tried on? Were they being overly picky, or did the dresses really not look great on them?FYI, tea length can be hard to pull off for girls who don't have super long legs -- do you think knee length could solve the problem?Also, have you thought about giving them a few coordinating choices and each can pick the one that she feels best in? That can help when you have girls with different body types.

CM1206 · November 2009

I would pick my favorite designer (one that carries tea length, satin, and your colors) and tell them to pick any dress they want from there.

soontobemrsdavis · November 2009

Wow if they couldnt find one dress at nonchalance I am more inclined to think that they are just overly picky and won't like anything. I would take your sister to look at dresses and you two make the choice. Too many opinions will drive you crazy in this process.

30may09bride · November 2009

That kinda sounds like how my dress shopping started off! I went to Nonchalence with one group of BM's, they tried on a million and one dresses, and eventually picked a favortie. I brought my the 2nd group a week later and they pretty much all hated it (never figured out why, I thoughty they looked great it in, but they weren't happy). I couldn't make them wear a dress they didn't like. So that is when we went with the same designer and fabric, different styles. Once you decide to go that route, you just have to pick a designer, and your BM's will find something that they like (or that they like enough). FWIW, I ended up with Jenny Yoo dresses. They aren't cheap, but they are beautiful and very flattering, and nonchalance gave us a great price (I also had 7 BM's). I have been a BM in 3 weddings. One wedding there were only 3 BM's and we found a dress that we and the bride all liked. One the bride picked out 2 dresses and told us to buy our favorite of the 2. And in another one, we narrowed it down to like 5 or 6 and the bride choose which one we were going to wear. So, there are alot of ways this usually happens. Hopefully your girls just suck it up and stop being so picky. I understand they are your friends and they shouldn't be uncomfortable on your wedding day, but it is your wedding day. If I am close enough to someone to be a BM, I have vested interest in their day going well, and if that means wearing a dress that I don't love, then so be it. Good luck!

imagrl10 · November 2009

i had a similiar experience.. at nonchalance to.. i went nuts to try to find a dress that everyone would like. its hard to do and a nightmare. but i searcehd and searched and found a dress taht they all like. it is very simple though, but at least they like it.its your wedding. you want the girls to feel comfortable in it and like it to an extent because they are paying for it. but, they should understand that not everyone has the same taste. but, i also know that there have been weddings that i have been in and the dresses have looked horrible on me, but i kept quiet for the bride because it was her day. i narrowed it down to 2 and then they voted. good luck!

Rosie24 · November 2009

You gave them the autonomy to chose a dress but since at this point that is a no-go, I would go with your sister/mom/by yourself pick what you like and tell them that is the dress/color/brand they are going to chose from. End of story. I told my bm's to pick bc they all have good taste and I really didn't care too much (bc I hate bm dresses alltogether) as long as they fit the overall look but they felt the same way. I don't think I would ever tell a bride I HATED the dress(s) she was considering.

erikag23 · November 2009

it's not like they are going to wear the dress again. they should just suck it up, but since there being royal pita's, why not have them wear different dresses, but same designer and fabric?

caketime · November 2009

If the girls are short the tea-length could be the issue. I had to do a tea-length for a girlfriend and it looked awful on me, but I did suck it up and wear it because that's what she wanted. Any particular reason you want tea-length?With that being said tell them designer and color and say go pick. Or just tell them this is the dress, deal with it. It does sound like they are being very picky.

jen629 · November 2009

I stood up in my brothers wedding and didnt have choice one and wouldve worn whatever she told me to.....I asked all of my girls and after trying many dresses on reverted to the original one I wanted ....I think they should just suck it up ...My SIl called me said this is the dress so order when you can..and she also made us wear matching shoes,purses,wraps, and have our hair done the same which she did not pay for so I dont think you are asking too much I think too many opinions is gonna drive you crazy

alliecarrie41 · November 2009

they need to suck it up and come to an agreement. the dress is for your wedding and will never be worn again. i think it's great you are letting them pick, and i'd remind them of this. perhaps give them a week to look at dresses online if they'd like, and if they still don't like anything, pick 2-3 that you really are happy with and tell them this is the choice. if they still can't decide, pick one and be done. i wore dessy tea-length for my sister's wedding and loved the dress! i am tall so i am a fan of the length, but the other 2 girls were shorter and looked great too.

ddelo23 · November 2009

I agree with PPs that you're being very nice even giving them a choice. But if they're gonna be arseholes about it - do what pps suggested and just give them the designer color and length and tell them to have fun picking their own. I cant' imagine people being difficult - even if I didn't like the dress, i'd suck it up.

mbcdefg · November 2009

Ditto PPs - tea-length can be very hard for some girls to pull off well. Have them try on some knee-length and floor-length dresses to see if that changes their tune. Otherwise, just pick a designer that they can afford (ask them each about their budget in private) and that offers the color(s) you want, then pick a length and a fabric, and tell them to choose their own and then wash your hands of it.

dawny150 · November 2009

Thanks for the help. Well I was looking for tea or knee length. But did not want long because I am having an afternoon wedding outside wedding in May and pictured shorter dresses. I think they were just being picky...I think they looked great in ALL the dresses to be honest. They are both 5"7 and are a size 6 with no bulges or anything.

Bridesmaid dress help... Long

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