Incorporating my child in the ceremony

Lgrether · November 2009

Im getting married in November of 2010... I am currently pregnant therefore my little girl will be almost 1 years old at the time of the ceremony. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to incorporate my daughter in the ceremony aside from being a flower girl... thank you, Lauren!

hollieheidi · November 2009

If you want to include her I would look into the sand ceremony, family medallion ceremony or even just putting a flower for her on the alter or where the unity candle is and making mention. I have 3 kids and baby girl is 2, and if you think I can get her to do ANYTHING remotely in line with the ceremony...def wouldn't trust her to come down the isle with flower petals...but we are including all of the kids in the handfasting ceremony...we're having 3 ribbons, each representing something love, health, etc. and having each of the kids present a ribbon...

banana468 · November 2009

Are you having a religious ceremony? If you are, I'd consider having the priest bless her with the union.However beyond that, I'd avoid incorporating her too much since a 1 yo can be VERY tempermental and may need to be removed from the ceremony by someone else.

aerinpegadrak · November 2009

Read Stage's response again and pretend that I wrote it. A wedding ceremony is between two legally consenting adults.What's your earliest memory? Mine is from about 4 years old. Seriously, she's not going to feel left out. At less than 12 months old, it's even odds that she'll either shriek or sleep through the whole thing anyway. If you expect anything more out of her, brace yourself for disappointment.

trix1223 · November 2009

another ditto for stage and aerin's reply. A wedding is a ceremony that two consenting adults enter into. They make vows to each other and it is a serious commitment. Your DD, at age 1 can neither understand nor make vows, so it's inappropriate to include her in the ceremony. It's also unrealistic to expect a 1 year old to actively participate in anything. It's entirely possible that she'll nap through the whole shebang. Get a darling little dress. Have her sit in the front row with a relative. Take a million adorable photos with her. Have a special "dance" where she dances with mommy and daddy. And that's plenty.

chosen175 · November 2009

Regardless of what others might say, if you want your daughter to be part of the wedding, then let her be part of the wedding! Yes, weddings are about joining 2 adults in marriage, but when you have a child before you're married, it also becomes a way of "completing" the family. So yes, it is most definitely appropriate to include her.Again, I would make it a small role and definitely one that can easily be omitted if she is asleep at the time or decides not to cooperate. Great photo ops would be a cool way to incorporate her. Get a shot of her playing with your veil, holding your ring (watch carefully so she doesn't swallow it!), pluck a flower from your bouquet and let her play with the petals. That shot of her gazing into your eyes once you're all set to walk down the aisle would be priceless.Our dd will be 3 when we get married and we wanted to include her as well. We'll buy her a cute dress and if we can get her to act as a flower girl, great. And if not, oh well. No big deal. At the end of the ceremony, our officiant will say "It is now my pleasure to introduce for the first time, Kasey's mommy and daddy, Mr. & Mrs Chosen175." To me, it signifies that not only are we FINALLY husband and wife, but that our daughter is also a huge part of who we are as a married couple. That might be an option for you.Congrats on your impending mommyhood and don't let the nay-sayers convince you that your dd isn't an important part of your day!

kathjack95 · November 2009

Why don't you have her brought up at the conclusion of the ceremony for a family blessing and then the three of you recess together up the aisle.

Lgrether · November 2009

thank you for your responses. I see many of your views say that i should not do anything to include her... the matter wasnt for my daughter to look back and remember or anything of that matter... but as a couple others had stated, to signify our officially becoming a family unit. I really like the idea to have her brought down at the end of the ceremony, being blessed as a family, and then her coming back down the aisle with my husband and i. Thank you all agian.

trix1223 · November 2009

stage, I have to say that I thought the very same thing. OP: you were Kasey's mommy and daddy the moment that little one was born~or as many also believe, the moment that little one was conceived.So you can't really be introduced for "the first time" as Kasey's mommy and daddy~that will have happened a year ago at the time of your wedding. You CAN be introduced for the first time as Mrs. and Mrs. Grether.

chosen175 · November 2009

Well, then I guess it's a good thing that people who will be at our wedding aren't so nit-picky and overly-critical. Our circle loves and welcomes children and any way we include our dd in our ceremony will be seen as appropriate. Oh, and by the way, I'm not the OP.

banana468 · November 2009

Chosen, I don't think that anyone is being overly nit picky or critical - they're just not biased.However the way your worded your response, it sounds like you're saying, "At least my family is better than yours."

banana468 · November 2009

I should add, you probably don't mean it to come across that way but please also keep in mind that unbiased advice may not necessarily be mean. They're just offering a different view on the matter. It's just something to keep in mind because people come on the boards all the time and say, "But my wedding/family/friends are different," and truth be told, many people feel the same way but just won't say anything.

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