9-11-10???? good or bad idea???

ChocolateDiamond1 · November 2009

Hello everyone.. I am fairly new to this... I am newly engaged 10-12-09 and am starting to plan the wedding for november of next year. I have contacted the site and they have 09-04 and 09-11 available. 09-04 is the day before my fiancee's b-day and also labor day weekend. and then well there is 9-11. I am very uneasy about getting married on 9-11. any thoughts?

hmonkey · November 2009

bfd.

Leah&Christian09 · November 2009

9/11 is fine. If your family are members of NYFD or something, it might give me pause, but for most people, it's not a big deal. Labor Day can also work well if you have a lot of people travelling and most people don't have standing plans for the holiday.

kriserin · November 2009

For me I would be uncomfortable planning my wedding for 9/11 as I live in NYC and so many people were personally effected and the day still has a very somber feeling to it.

aerinpegadrak · November 2009

If you're uneasy about it, you probably shouldn't do it. However, if you really like this venue and that's the only date that will work for you, run it past your major players (WP, immediate family, anyone else that you absolutely want to attend) and see how they feel about it. I think most people who didn't have any personal involvement in the attacks wouldn't really think anything of it. People still get married on December 7 and other days that have a tragic history. But if they were personally affected, it may still be too recent.

salt78 · November 2009

If you are planning a wedding for November, why are you looking at September dates?

ChocolateDiamond1 · November 2009

opps.. thanx for catching that Salt... We are planning a september wedding not november

salt78 · November 2009

Oh ok well to answer your question, I personally would not want to have my wedding on that day, but I wouldn't give anyone too much of a side eye for doing it.

jenn.daniel · November 2009

I wouldn't get married on 9-11. If you don't want Labor day weekend, maybe ask your site about 9-10 or 9-12?

lindakee · November 2009

Its too sad...

smcopp89 · November 2009

Way before the events of September 11, 2001, the date itself had many meanings for many different people. As with any day, September 11th stood and still stands as a day of joy and sorrow. Births, deaths, weddings and funerals have all occurred on the date in question. Each day of the year represents something different to each and every individual. As human beings we learn to take the good with the bad. In my opinion, it is always important to remember and reflect, but this does not mean we should stop living and carrying on with normal life occurrences just because of tragedies which took place on that specific date in one specific year. I believe it is far better to rejoice and reverse the stigmas of one day, otherwise, it is almost as if we are remembering the lives of those who paid the ultimate price in vain. Either way, the decision is yours. Not all people have the same views as I do, so go with your instincts. I will conclude, that I would not overlook having my wedding on September 11th if September were the month in which I would like to be married, and I certainly would not look down upon anyone else for choosing the date to celebrate their wedding. Congratulations on your engagement! Best wishes and happy planning!

Kristin789 · November 2009

>In my opinion, it is always important to remember and reflect, but this does not mean we should stop living and carrying on with normal life occurrences just because of tragedies which took place on that specific date in one specific year. In my opinion that is exactly what we should do. On a day of national mourning which respects those who died and those whose lives will never be the same, I would not plan a big blowout Saturday night dinner dance.

smcopp89 · November 2009

You are entitled to your opinions, just as I am entitled to mine. There is no right or wrong. I just don't see the point in giving up on the "here and now," and trying to revive the day with more positive happenings seems like more of an honor than to continue mourning. Remembrance and reflection, in all actuality, are quite different from mourning. Regardless, this is a topic that will have mixed feedback. The decision is not ours; it is the poster's. Regardless, of her choice or even the choices of others contemplating the same thing, I respect the decision and philosophies behind making those decisions whether or not they coincide with my beliefs.

Crissyo · November 2009

IF you are questioning it...its probably not a good idea..Also, remember this will be your anniversary. So you will be sharing your anniversary with "the anniversary of 9/11"....I know people whose birthdays are on this day and for them...it is hard. They were obviously born befor 9/11/01 and can't change their b-day...but its hard for them to celebrate their day

LesPaul · November 2009

If you don't have a very personal connection (i.e. a loved one who died in the Towers or Pentagon) I would go ahead with the date. Yes, it will ALWAYS be an important date for America, but people get married on Pearl Harbor Day without a backlash.

Lakerchic7272 · November 2009

As PPs have said- I wouldn't be able to do it- FI is a policeman to so it just really hits home, but I think as long as you are tackful and maybe even include a short prayer in remembrance, no one will look down on you for it.And Labor day is nbd for me either- actually if you send out stds soon- it could make for a fun long weekend for people. (but the birthday thing might suck--- FI and I are already around christmas with the bdays so we had to have a summer wedding)

tidetravel · November 2009

Unless you or your family were personally affected, I think it's fine. I guarentee you that SOME tragedy happened SOMEWHERE on whatever day you choose. Sept. 11 will always be an important day, of course, but that doesn't mean that the world stops turning on it's anniversary. You wouldn't tell a child born on Sept. 11 that they couldn't celebrate their birthday because the party would disrespect those that died.My personal opinion is that if you change the way you live your life because of the events that happened, then the terrorists won.

tidetravel · November 2009

I think as long as you are tackful and maybe even include a short prayer in remembrancePlease don't do this. Your wedding is not a memorial service.

lyndausvi · November 2009

I could not do it because of DH's personal connection to the events of 9/11 (he lost some firefighter friends in the towers). But we would still attend a wedding on 9/11 without a problem. We know 2 people who have birthdays on 9/11. We have full blown parties for them on that day and do not think twice about it.

chrisnjay2010 · November 2009

I wouldn't be able to do it, My father is FDNY and lost some of his guys in the attacks. It is still a very sad and very emotional day for me.But if you don't have any close connections and it works for you guys, then go ahead. I'm sure everyone wants us to be able to move on.If I had to attend a wedding on 9.11 though I would be ok with it.

I <3 Seabass · November 2009

I personally wouldn't choose it for my wedding day. But, I wouldn't have a problem attending a wedding on that date. And I wouldn't think badly of anyone that had their wedding on that date.

nfoster05 · November 2009

Do it! If not the terrorists have won.

aheimer · November 2009

I am getting married on 9.11.10. I never thought twice about changing the date because of its significance in history. Really, it's just a day.

andowski · November 2009

Go for it! My fiancee and I got engaged on September 11th 2008, and really wanted to get married on September 11th 2010 (our venue was already booked with another wedding however).I agree with a number of the other posts, as long as you and fiancee were not affected by the events nine years ago, do what you would like. September 11th is just a day. Life goes on.

dsd2682 · November 2009

I think its fine, as long as you are ok with it. If it bothers you, dont do it. If not, it might not be a bad idea to have it on the 11th and perhaps have a small tribute to those who fell on that day. For example, a photo frame with a small tribute such as "in Memory of those who fell on September 11th" or something to the effect that love and life will always conquer. Another thing you can do is leave an empty table setting with a card that reads something like "for the brave who lost their lives on this day" or something to that effect so that people acknowledge the date. There is definitely something to be said about how far we have come from that dreaded day and how love has helped us heal, which can be tied very nicely into your special day.

csspencer · November 2009

I personally couldn't have my wedding on that day. My fiance and I actually discussed it, because that was a day available at many venues we looked at. But we both decided we just couldn't do it. Neither one of us were personally affected by the day, but I was a senior in high school, and remember that day very vividly, and I just don't think I could handle celebrating my anniversary every year, remember how scared I was that day. However, with that being said...it is a personal decision as to when you want your wedding day to take place. If you have no problem with it, then no one else should either.

Iowa Staters madly in love · November 2009

We got married on September 5th this year and it worked out great being labor day weekend since a lot of our families came across country so we got to spend extra time with them. Plus I had a built in day after the wedding to relax before going back to work. We didn't have many people who said they couldn't come due to labor day plans. Good luck!

jbwed1 · November 2009

I personally find it strange. I was not living in NY when 9/11 took place, although I do live here now. I have no relatives or friends that were directly involved. However, I find it very strange to have a wedding on 9/11...mostly b/c, as another poster said...you will have to tell people for the rest of your life that you got married on 9/11, and it seems that would open the conversation up for alot of unwanted questions as to 'why'...and I wouldn't want to deal with it. Regardless of whether it affected you directly or not, there is not a person in the world who wouldn't recognize that date..and it doesn't shout 'wedding!!" to me. I do have a friend who actually chose that date for her wedding, and I will not be able to attend for other reasons. BUT...even if I was technically able to go, I'm not sure I'd be able to take off work...b/c I actually have several co-workers who have that day off, b/c they DO have family members who were involved - and they go to the memorial/WTC site..which is a block away from my office. It's grim, in my opinion. And yes, as pp poster said...there's going to be something terrible that happened somewhere on any given day...But none so well known in U.S. history as this. I'm all about moving on, but I would never want my wedding date associated with THAT date. My two cents

christine825_us · November 2009

I got married on September 12th, but there was a wedding on the 11th at my venue, which suprises me a little. So, do it. I would rather attend a wedding on that day than waste my entire holiday weekend.

mjessie84 · November 2009

Interesting post! Just my thoughts..The September 11th tragedy didn't happen that long ago and the wounds of that day are still very fresh with our generation. If Sept. 11th happend, say, 60-70 years ago (like Pearl Harbor) then I don't think it would be an issue. However, everyone today has experienced Sept. 11th and whether or not they lost a specific friend or family member, we were all personally effected one way or another. It is still a somber day in our society.With that being said, I understand what some PPs were saying about moving on with life and if you REALLY want to get married in September and you REALLY want that site then it is ultimately your decision. Good luck!Also, I have many friends who have gotten married Labor Day/Memorial Day weekend and it actually worked out for the better because most people didn't have to worry about going to work monday! They turned out to be very fun, celebratory weekends

tiffany.covington · November 2009

it is up to you if you want your anniversary to be on September 11... personally, i wouldn't do it, just because of what people think of when they hear that date

9-11-10???? good or bad idea???

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