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Still invite to wedding if having another reception afterwards?

adreamer410adreamer410
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
The situation is that we are having the wedding in my hometown, which is about a 9 hour drive away from where my fiance is from.  We predict that a lot of his family's guests will be unable to (or choose not to) come.  His family has decided to have a reception for us upon our return from the honeymoon for their guests, so now I need to know if we still need to invite them to the wedding.  I was always told that you should always invite them to the wedding if they were going to be invited to a shower or anything afterwards.  However, recently a friend of mine got married out of state and we were not invited to the wedding, but only the after wedding reception.  Is this a new trend?  It would help in knowing how many people to plan for (and cut down on invitation costs), but I'm not sure what to do.  HELP!
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Re: Still invite to wedding if having another reception afterwards?

  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If MOG+FOG host a wedding reception for you in their hometown, and his hometown is anything like where I live, those people just won't come because it will clearly look like a gift grab. Like these people weren't good enough to witness the ceremony, but they ARE good enough to buy a great gift and drop it off at this upcoming Gift Drop Off Location conveniently located in MOG+FOG's hometown. If you DO invite FI's family and friends to your wedding - whether they come or not, and then later MOG+FOG host an open house or cookout or whatever, and you and your new husband happen to attend, then everyone will come. The party just can't be billed as a second wedding reception / gift collection event.
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  • Kati0105Kati0105
    1000 Comments
    For once, I agree with Kristen Numbers.  I am kind of tipsy though.
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  • agk0125agk0125
    1000 Comments
    You have to invite them all to the wedding.What your friend did is rude.The only time this is remotely acceptable is when it's a for real destination wedding where everyone including you and your FI are traveling.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Maybe they'll surprise you and most will show up at the wedding, making the second reception unnecessary. At least then you'll know if there's a big enough group to warrant doing another party.
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