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FMILs

TiaMatthewTiaMatthew
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in Moms and Maids
I need some advice.  I love my FMIL very much but I get so irritated sometimes with her!  Today I had a meeting with my bridesmaids and of course she came too.  My FI and I had made a shower list and it had over 90 people!  So we had to do some cutting.  One of the groups we cut was his stepdad's nieces.  They are nice and all, but we had to cut somewhere and when we see them they hardly even talk to us.  Well at the meeting today, FMIL said she didn't know they were cut and that we should invite them and she will pay just so it doesn't cause trouble.  It's FI's stepdad's nieces!!!  I'm not even inviting some of my cousins for lack of room, why would we invite his stepdad's nieces?  And its not even that, but the principle of it.  This is something that me and FI decided together and I will not be told what to do all of the time when it comes to our decisions!  FYI, my parents will most likely be paying for most of the wedding.  Am I being a bridezilla?  HELP!!!
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Re: FMILs

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, if you're talking a shower list then stay out of it.  If you're talking a wedding list then FI needs to say, "Mom, we've decided that they're not invited."

    And if they're not invited to the wedding then they're obviously not invited to the shower.
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    notyetavetnotyetavet
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    edited December 2011
    Before you think about anything else, take a deep breath and count to ten.  It's going to be fine.  If you and your FI are sure that not inviting these people is the right thing to do, then that's your decision.  You can thank your FMIL for her generosity and tell her and you and FI have already made up your minds.  You can explain that you cut some of your own cousins for this same reason and that these people should be able to understand. 

    It's not like you're cutting them out of the celebration if they don't get invited to the shower.  I assume since they were mentioned for the initial shower list that they're going to be invited to the wedding.  Try not to assume that FMIL is trying to tell you what to do because she wants to be in control.  If you love her like you say you do, then give her the benefit of the doubt.  She is probably trying to help and has no idea that what she is doing sounds like she is trying to take over. 
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    TiaMatthewTiaMatthew
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much for the replies!  This helps a lot.  I think we will try to talk to her!
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