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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Grades Poll

Should children be rewarded monetarily for good grades? I'm not sure if this has ever been discussed here, but I read an article at work the other day and was wondering what others thought.Growing up in my house, going to school was expected and we never got paid for our good report cards. Another family we knew paid their children $20 for every A on their report cards and $10 for every B. They got $100 for straight As. In my school system, there were 4 report cards a year, so these kids were raking in the dough. These kids also rubbed it in the faces of other kids, which was super annoying.WDYT? Were you paid for good grades? Will you pay your children for good grades? No and no for me.
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Re: Grades Poll

  • I was never paid for good grades and have always excelled by choice.  I think it ruins the point.  Learning will get you ahead in life, not learning will get you $100.
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  • I am trying to remember, but I think when my sister and I were younger, we would get perhaps $5 per A, and nothing for any grades lower. We also got to go to Chuck E Cheese a few times with our report cards. Will I pay my children for good grades? I highly doubt it.
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  • I got straight A's but did not get paid. Getting good grades was an expectation, because it was expected to happen, there was no need for reward. However, if my child was struggling and needed tutoring and had to work really hard to earn those grades, I might throw in incentives to keep up all the extra work to earn the grades.
  • Wouldn't do it. I'm with you - kids need to learn that good grades are their own reward, and that they are expected.
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  • I was not paid for good grades. I was encouraged and praised but not paid. Now, because I sucked soo bad at math if I got a good grade I did get some kind of treat.No, we will not pay our children for their grades. Now, if they struggle in a subject and some sort of tangible reward will help encourage them then maybe we will do that.
  • Even when I was younger, I thought it was weird that my friends got paid for grades.  Not that I wouldn't have been glad to get the money, but it seemed silly. We would get taken to dinner for exceptional report cards sometimes, which I guess is still a 'reward' but it's a little different.
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  • I got money for straight As once from my dad, but then he passed away and my mom never continued the tradition :) On the one hand it's good to use rewards for good behavior instead of punishment for bad behavior, but this is more like a bribe I think. I don't think I would pay my kids for As, but there would be some kind of reward. The grades themselves are not enough of a motivation for some kids. They were for me, but not for everyone.
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  • I was not paid for good grades but when I got a good report card my parents would take me out to eat to celebrate.  I plan on continuing that tradition with my own children one day.
  • I also don't believe in allowances for chores.
  • I was punished if I didn't bring home straight As. What a mom. I don't think I would pay my kids for good grades. I'm certainly not going to go all BSC about good grades like my mom.
  • We got paid for good grades.  When we were young it was $5 for an A, $3 for a B and $1 for a C.  We got an extra $20 if we got straight As.  The amounts went up as we got older.  Honestly, it was a motivator when we were younger, and we always looked forward to report card time.Of course, the way my parents worked the allowance system was a big FAIL, so we'll probably do allowances like DH's parents did.  Which was that kids didn't get an allowance for household chores that were expected.  If they wanted to make extra money, they would ask for "work" and they would have to earn it.
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  • No and no for me as well.I don't like this idea because first of all, it puts kids in a position that they only want to do stuff to get the reward rather than the personal accomplishment, which is never good, and second because the focus should be not on the grade but on what was learned. There's too much emphasis on the letter grade, and it certainly makes things hard if you're a grad student TA and you have people coming up to you wanting to slit their wrists because you gave them an A- instead of an A.That said, I think there are some programs in underprivileged districts that pay kids to stay in school and study, and I think they've had some success. Not necessarily the worst idea if it's the only way to keep a kid in school and off the streets.
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  • No, I will not pay kids to get good grades.  I would expect my kids to get good grades; it's part of being a kid and going to school.  Just like you don't expect to get paid extra for doing what you're supposed to do at work (not overtime or busting asss).It sets kids up to think that they can expect bonuses but not do any bonus work.Now, if the kid got straight A's, held down a 30 hr/week job and also did well in an extracurricular activity, then maybe I'd consider it.
  • No, and I was a straight A student.  Praise was enough for me.The local video store gave you a free rental per A on your report card and I did take advantage of that, though. 
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  • "I also don't believe in allowances for chores." Yup, that goes hand in hand with the grade thing. As a member of the family, helping out around the house will be an expectation, not contracted work. No one pays me for doing my own laundry.
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  • Sadly, I was paid for grades. My parents used the same scale ($20 for an A, $10 for a B). It did not motivate me at all and only added to the lack of respect I cultivated for money and possesions. I will not be doing this with my children.
  • I agree with Sarah.  I won't set out with that in mind, but some kids need different forms of motivation. 
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  • I got the occasional ice cream cone for a good report card, but the praise from my parents was good enough to keep me going. I agree though Tlv that it's not the same with all kids. At work, we have to use a lot of bribes/incentives to get the students to do what they are supposed to.
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  • I got paid for my grades by my grandparents. 20 bucks an A. It was awesome. However, my parents made life very difficult for me if I got "bad" grades. Which meant anything less than an A. So between the two, they created the over achieving monster that I am today. I will not pay my non existant children for good grades.
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  • No, and hell no.I want my children to grow up learning for the love of knowledge, not for monetary reward. If they come home with bad grades, I want to sit down as a family to figure out how we can help them with the learning process. I'm not opposed to celebrating a good report card by going out for a fun dinner.
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  • I got a car stereo for getting a 4.0 my first year of college. Before that, nothing. My parents just expected me to get good grades.I probably wouldn't do it.  I would hope that my kids would try their best in school without a reward.
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  • I never got an allowance in my life. I guess if the kid goes above and beyond normal chores (like cleans out the entire attic on a sunny Saturday) I can see monetary reward, but not for doing their own dishes.  All of my friends that did get an allowance say that it was good to help them learn what to do with money at a young age, and I guess I can see that, but I don't know I managed to have a small amount of money to buy what I chose anyway. I guess from birthdays and such.
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  • I think it depends on the kid.  Lets say kid A loves school but hates sports. Excels in academics but is picked last in gym. I'd see what I could do to encourage physical activity.Kid B does ok in school but is fabulous at baseball.  Thinks hes going places with baseball.  I'd try whatever I could to get his grades up.  even if it was money.  I'd rather he have decent grades to fall back on for college when his years trying to make it in the pros run out.Sorry that was long. Thats what she said.
  • My parents didn't give us cash for good grades, but my grandparents always did.
  • I was never paid for my grades, it was always just expected that I would. The disappointment I received when I got bad grades was enough of a downer that I always worked hard.My brother, however, nothing worked for him except getting paid. He didn't care if my dad fussed til he was blue in the face, disappointment, expectations, whatever, he just didn't care. I think it all depends on the kid. Of course, in my situation, it always really pissed me off that my parents paid him and never me. However, that is a situation that still goes on today and is a whole 'nother can of worms for the therapist.
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  • julez - I think our moms read the same parenting book.  I was grounded a week for every point my grades dropped from the previous report card - even if it was because one term had more extra credit than the next.  My sister was not held to the same standard.
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  • I never had any chores so I never got allowance.I did however ask to do things around the house (dust, clean the bathoom, organize cabinents..) and I would get paid to do those things..
  • If they come home with bad grades, I want to sit down as a family to figure out how we can help them with the learning process.Can you come to my school and give parenting classes? Kthanx.
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  • I also was not and will not pay my kids for doing household chores.  That's also part of living in the household; you want to live and eat here, you help keep it nice.  If not, here's a tent.  (no, I would not actually do that, for the record)
  • Nope.  I got punished for anything less than a B.
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